Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

See You In The Funny Papers: Ask Grandma Hardcore!

Annie featured us in her latest comic, so GO my children, and GAZE UPON IT with your EYEBALLS. Thanks, Annie! We're printing it out and framing it as another addition to Grandma's game room to commemorate the fame. I just hope we can find a good color matte that accentuates its awesomeness.

We know we haven't had an Ask Grandma Hardcore for awhile. We all know it's my fault, so let's not commence the finger-pointing, name-calling, or blogger-lynching. Just so you know, I already punished myself. It hurt. It hurt a LOT.

So let's ask some questions and shit! What do you want to know? Anonymous posting is welcome, open forum rules, topic of the evening- if you'd like to have one- is VIDEO GAMES IN THE MEDIA.

Why the media you ask? Well let me tell you...

We got another mention in The Inquirer today. A lot of UK traffic and the mysterious e-mail message from Thomas which read: "hi, saw you in The Inquirer today i think your grandma rocks" tipped us off. The Inquirer first mentioned us during the whole Jack Thompson vs. Reality fight of the century. Then CBS Evening News, Der Spiegel, the new MTV show, GameInformer, lots of live radio and The Washington Post, and Grandma finds herself embedded within excellent tech news sites.

The media is treating Grandma well, but how is all this perceived? Do people think Grandma's strange? Do they want to save her everlasting soul? What is their first impression of the woman? I don't know!

But I think they know. They get feedback we don't see. The media as an entity hasn't treated gaming and gamers so well in the past, but is this another sign of better days to come; or is it just because they don't want to insult an old lady because that would ...look bad? I don't know that either!

You tell me. If you don't know, then ...guess or something. Give me an idea.

The rest of you that have something on your mind- Ask Grandma Hardcore!


  • At 11:11 PM, Blogger HandOverFist said…

    I'm not a huge fan of the 360 myself but if there was one game I'd get it for it's Huxley, it looks amazing to me. Has Grandma heard anything about it?

    Also, what do you think about the rumors of the new Zelda moving to the fucking revolution?

  • At 12:06 AM, Anonymous D said…

    are you the best grandma in the world, or only the best gamer grandma? Will you be my grandma?

  • At 12:06 AM, Anonymous Sam said…

    What does Grandma think of CSI, especially the one where gamers KILL? The media isn't just news, tv shows and movies keep pounding away at the gamers=stupid people ideas.

  • At 12:36 AM, Blogger Archangel said…

    pfft. I soooo dont think there's really anything good out for the XBox 360 yet. The only thing ive seen so far that i actually care much about is:

    Elderscrolls 4: Oblivion

    I mean, Morrowind was pretty good even for being as dated as it is at this point. Oblivion is looks to be really cool from what ive seen/read. (granted, it must all be taken with a grain of salt tho....till we actually get it in our hot little hands) What does she think about Oblivion? Cool? Not her cuppa tea?

    Did Grandma Hardcore ever play Elderscrolls 3: Morrowind? (older game), Xbox) I thought it was pretty good. may not be her thing, but was curious. (was originally a PC game.... has been on the Xbox for God knows how long now.)

    My g/f has been playing it for a year now. (she's got the Game of the Year additon with the 2 expansion packs Tribunal and Bloodmoon) she was messing around on it doing side quests and what not; and just finished the main quest a little while ago, its open like GTA Vice city, but more so) Well, that and she's been playing Fable:TLC

  • At 12:42 AM, Anonymous Blue said…

    Hooray! Still very glad you guys like it ::grin::

    If I may add my two dented pennies: I would say that the first draw to many who've never heard of OGHC is "oh wow, is this for real?" They come, see that yes, it is, and laugh with joy and delight at how badass Grandma is. Then they get to know you guys for who you are - as awesome people, talented and humble and hilarious and kind - and they can't help themselves, they have to keep coming back, they have to keep posting and reading. And there are many - myself included - who feel like Grandma is a voice for us gamers who keep getting overlooked (the older audience, the women), and that there is something so fundamentally honest and REAL about her that we couldn't wish for a better representative, a voice out there. We DO exist, dammit, and also, we can kick your ASS. It's a beautiful thing. And also, you guys just ROCK. ::laugh:: ::hug::

    I've gotta run, but take care, be well, and as always - GAME ON!


  • At 12:51 AM, Blogger Archangel said…

    speaking of renting ....Where's she renting from? Blockbuster? has she looked into Gamefly for renting stuff? That's what i use. They have a KILLER selection of games. its amazing. They even have some of the more obscure stuff that seems harder to find anywhere else. S.O.B.'s are quick too. Like a day turn around.

    just thought id mention that tip, if you all rent a lot of games and stuff.

  • At 1:26 AM, Blogger Bi-coastal Eddie said…

    I know you all are busy with the move and stuff, but we (read me) need an update on what the OG (which could just as easily stand for the Original Gangsta) is playing currently. How did the Fatal Frame III issue finally resolve itself? I's ashamed to admit that I had to start yet another game and am just about caught up with the previous one(s) and this time, I'm being really picky about what I even let Rei pick up just so Miku will have plenty of everything when it comes back around to her. The farthest I've gotten so far is at the end of the spiral staircase where there's even more of the hoors and frankly, seeing that I had to do them again, and there were even more of them just kinda sucked all the air out of the room for a couple of days, but I'm back at it. Game on!

  • At 1:35 AM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…


    Grandma says: "I can't WAIT to get a hold of an XBox 360! I JUST CAN'T AFFORD IT!! King Kong, Kameo- the reviews were iffy but I still think I'd like it, condemned, and of course Elder Scrolls Oblivion (when it HAPPENS), but Huxley- now there is a game that just might piss off a lot of sci-fi fans if they don't do it right. Brave New World could be made into a beautiful game, just think of the universe! It could also ruin it for a lot of people. I hope they don't fuck it up. As far as Zelda goes, that it might be on the Revolution is one thing, I can deal with that, it's just one more reason for me to get a Revolution when it comes out. What pisses me off is having to WAIT LONGER. Christ, I might have to play Wind Waker again just so I remember what Link LOOKS LIKE."


    Grandma says: "I'm not the best grandma in the world, and I KNOW I'm not the best gamer grandma out there, there's a lot more of them than just me! And yes. I'll be your grandma."


    Grandma says: "I don't watch TV much. Folks e-mailed me about the CSI episode and I was going to make a point to watch it, but I just don't care. It's probably more of the same bullshit they've been throwing at gamers since the 80's. You're right about video games being portrayed poorly in all kinds of media- that's true. Like in Bullworth, which I liked, but they show these kids dealing drugs for this guy in a bad neighborhood, and what are they doing? They're firing gaming guns at a television screen with a violent game. it's 'training' them, I guess. Fuck that, people need to know its not real."


    Grandma says: "I thinks there is plenty to look forward to on the XBox 360, but you're god damn right about Oblivion. I can't fucking WAIT. We looked for Morrowind a month or so ago because so many people recommended it, but the GameStop by us was sold out. I think we ended up buying Beyond Good and Evil instead. Now you mentioned Fable- THAT is a fantastic game. i loved Fable."


    Grandma says: "Of course I liked it! it was awesome! And that sounds like me too! Now I don't think we're as cool as you think we are. I have noticed something though, I mean- to me, gaming is just what I do, it's no big deal for me to go out and buy the next game I've saved up for, but for a lot of people its strange to see an woman or an older person or an old woman to go and buy Resident Evil 4. I still don't know why, to be honest. I'm just here for the ride, I guess!"


    Grandma says: "I rent from Hollywood video in Aurora because its so close. They have a mediocre selection I guess, they didn't even have God of War or ANY Fatal Frame games, so sometimes I'll just wait for a demo before I buy. A lot of folks have recommended Gamefly, and I'd like to check it out- but maybe after the move so the addresses aren't all fucked up."

    OKay! The UK is just waking up, the West Coast here in The States is just going to bed, and its the middle of the goddamn night here in Cleveland so keep on posting questions, Grandma is going to try and defeat the final boss here in Fatal Frame III, and I'm going to go ...do what it is I do, I don't know. We'll answer some more of the questions in the morning!

  • At 1:42 AM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    bi-coastal eddie (you sneaked that in there while we were typing!)-

    Grandma says: "Tonight, right now actually, I finally made it to the BOTTOM of that fucking spiral staircase in the last chapter with enough health, I think to take on the final boss, this priestess BITCH. And she is HARD. I have a Moon Stone, two Spirit Waters and I think one Healing Water, but I only have one type-90 film and maybe 30 or so type-14. I didn't find any Zero, so this is going to take me a LONG TIME, maybe the rest of tomorrow. The trick to the spiral staircase is you have to kill the first chick before going any further so you don't have three of them coming at you at once. Only raise up the camera when you can see her about to dive bomb you, then take a Fatal Frame with some type 14 and combo that motherfucker until she fucking DIES. When you get to the second two, you'll want to face them on at the bottom of the stairs, but DON'T DO THAT. At the bottom the camera angle changes more so you can't see them about to attack you. It took me forever to do it and preserve some of my health supplies, but it will make the final boss easier, only because if she touches you once in that wierd trippy ...black and white mode that pops up once and a while, you die instantly. Just like in Fatal Frame II. Hang in there!!!!"

  • At 2:21 AM, Anonymous Stuart Gorman said…


    As far as I know, the media are people, so I guess I get to talk for both camps. :P

    I touched on this in my article, but I suspect that the basic fascination with OGHC, is that she represents the shifting image of video games today.

    Some people might find it a little strange or surprising at first, that not only an adult, but a senior citizen would play video games. However upon a little more reflection, OGHC drives the realization that gaming has been around for a while, and it's not just for kids anymore.

    I'm not saying this is literally what every person is thinking. There are plenty of ways to appreciate this blog. But human interest stories are always about something that exceeds and expands our expectation of other people, right?

  • At 2:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hi there. since FF7's your favourite game, i'd guess you're into RPGs. i've got a question about the Grandia RPG series. pretty much, i'm wondering if you played any of it, and if you liked it? i fucking LOVED the first one, better than any RPG i've ever played (keep in mind i've never played FF7, unfortunately...). Also, since Christmas is just around the corner, i'm wondering if Grandma has any game suggestions? ps2 only, though. i'm not hardcore enough to own more than one console :(
    sorry for rambling, i've just been a big fan for a while now, and i'm excited that i'll actually get a response straight from the greatest of gamers herself!

  • At 2:49 AM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    stuart- You're right, the media are people too; I didn't mean any offense; shit man- I'm media too to a certain extent, I work as a still photographer as a stringer and as freelance for a few differnt folks. The news media, television more than print I suppose, esecially here in The States, typically hangs on the sensationalism of folks like Jack Thompson as though they speak gospel. Now, The Inquirer, and you especially, don't seem to to hold on to that dogma- and that's excellent.

    What's strange is the response from angencies such as CBS Evening News, who personify Grandma as she is, rather than simply as some crazy vulgar gamer who has gained some notoriaty. It's a pleasant surprise! They mention the 19% statistic as though it may surprise some- but it is a rapidly growing number, and that is without changes to the gaming industry. That's a big enough deal to make someone like Grandma a dated phenomenon, something that not too long from now, won't be surprising or unique- it already neither for us- it's just Grandma!

    I think you're right about it being more of a human interest fascination rather than anything else. Again, thank you for the mention- it helps all the older gamers out there who may feel isolated that there IS a community, and we are by no means at the helm. There are quite a lot of elderly gamers out there with web communities, clans on specific MMORGs, and friends who play Halo rather than Bridge. It just takes a bit of attention to find it sometimes.

    Grandma says: "I still don't know what the big fucking deal is. I'm less hurt by rude salesmen at electronic stores who find me to be an oddity or some lunatic and more confused by it. Why is this so surprising to people? I think its Tim's writing."

    Me - "Bullshit."

    Grandma - "Whatever. I'll game till I drop dead, there's a lot of younger folks who will tell you the same thing. Don't get me wrong, the attention has brought me a lot of friends I wouldn't have otherwise, I just don't ..get it!"


    Grandma says: "I haven't played Grandia yet, but I mean to. As far as things coming up, I'd have to say Dragon Quest VIII looks brilliant, it's probably what I'll be picking up after I finish Fatal Frame III, but from the looks of this final boss that's going to be god damn NEVER!"

  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger Stephanie said…

    *pouty face*

    I never get to do these. I'm always busy.

    I LOVE the comic, oh my gosh! Its PERFECT!!!!! Rock on you guys!! It has been so exciting to watch this blog grow as much as it has. You two should get paid for this.

  • At 7:32 PM, Anonymous panic8 said…

    Well, I imagine (Super)OGHC more like POWDERED TOASTMAN (ask your Parents about REN & STIMPY!). If she'll return in a Comic, she needs a Costume and special Abilities, borrowed from Videogames. Does anybody remember the notorious Megaphone from PARODIUS? Defeat yor Enemies with Insults...

  • At 12:57 PM, Blogger HandOverFist said…

    Yay! A snow day here in Jenks! Time to put down the controller and pick up a sled!

  • At 11:20 AM, Anonymous Bethany said…

    ok I will speak from personal experience...I was just using "My Yahoo" page and was looking for a blog to add to it and saw this and was like "hmmmm wonder what this is" so I added it and found out about grandma and it blew my mind. It was so funny and adorable to see a granny who was just as into gaming as the younger crowd (if not more)! Now, I will actually go to the library whenever I can (doesn't have internet access at home cause too expensive)to find a new post about grandma. She is totally awesome. (gives love to the OGHC) :D

    I myself am not much of a gamer but I do work my hand at some PS2 stuff...and I am being a good wife and bought my husband a PSP. He has been wanting one since he heard they had come out into stores. :D :D

    I was thinking about putting an order in for the XBOX 360 but ya'll don't seem to pumped about it. So I will keep my opinions open.

    And in closing you are an inspiration to me grandma. I am actually getting into gaming more because of your enthusiasum (misspelled that word)!

  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger Mike Abundo said…

    Y'know, surprise housecalls would actually make a fun segment on a gaming show. ;)

  • At 12:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Does Granny Hardcore actually enjoy ElderscrollsCheap Diablo 3 items A few: Morrowind? (more mature recreation), Xbox 360) I think it's time excellent. most likely are not her matter, but had been wondering. (had been at first a PC recreation.... is about the Console pertainingkaufen wow gold to The lord is aware the length of time today.)


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