A Quiet Sunday Evening With Grandma
"I don't think I could jump that far...."
"Come ON!! Don't PICK on me!! FUCKERS!!!"
"JUMP!! Down DOWN!!! Fucking DOWN!!!"
"AAHH!!! BITCH!! NOW where are the going to start me from?"
"Son of a BITCH!"
"That's no FAIR!!!"
Grandma is maneuvering her way through saw blades and large, pre-Roman industrial booby-traps only to be greeted by mini-Medusas and creatures of the world of the damned playing God of War. She's going back out tonight, so she's on a pretty intense quest to reach the next savepoint before she has to quit. So I'd like to take a moment while she screams my ears off to talk to about something. Something dear to Grandma. Her loathing of Jack Thompson, and what it means.
Some of you asked "Why Jack Thompson? Why give the asshole any attention at all? He's a real life troll trying to grab up any time on screen that he can." Here's your answer: Jack Thompson is a miserable fucker. He's not, however, stupid. He manipulates the media's necessity for answers to vague questions when no reasonable explanation to the desperate question "why?" is available or believable. So we decided to provide a service to the media. We're calling this fucker out so they can save face when they actually have to turn to Jack for a sound bite.
Grandma doesn't like this guy or what he does. How would you like it if pornography studios had to follow specific content rules, and were unable to sell their product because they didn't "think perhaps maybe a child would see it?" How would you like to live in a country where sex was so incredibly taboo, its mere suggestion is absent from all popular culture? "But, but- in The Sims! They have.... you know.... sex!" you might say. The Sims is short for "Simulation," yes? Do not people have sex in real life? The game is rated T for Teens because most teens can handle a little bit of booty. If it's your opinion that Spy Kids 3-D should be the new standard for PG-13, so be it- but the regulatory systems we have in place seem to be working just fine, dickhead. Do you have any credible evidence that this is hurting anyone?
Anyway, Grandma is trying to figure out how not to have the floor drop out from underneath Kratos and needs some suggestions.
...Nevermind. She got it.
--More updates coming!! We appreciate your support against the forces of evil in the form of comments and e-mails. Thanks folks!--