Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Grandma Confronts An Old Nemesis

Now that the XBox has Live; Grandma decided the next single player she should buy should be for another system. This way she can play a few hours of golf on the XBox, hit a switch and play something else on the PS2 or GameCube without taking the discs out, adding one hazardous and unnecessary step. I searched the town for Elder Scrolls series, but the town was dry. Grandma had her eye on an old friend; a sequel to a game she couldn't finish. Grandma wasted no time in picking it out and taking it to the counter. She was fucking ready.

Grandma's next game is Fatal Frame 2: The Crimson Butterfly.

She told me all about the first game as we drove home, a game I had never played. The more she told me about it the more I was intrigued. She fired
up the PS2, gently replaced Katamari Damacy and got started on Fatal Frame 2. It was a poor choice of timing however; Grandma wanted to make sausage and potatoes simultaneously, bouncing up and down after cutscenes to go turn the food in the kitchen.

This made our first reactions to the game unique. Here I was, completely creeped out and ready to take on some punk-ass ghosts; and Grandma's in her chair at the helm guiding a twin around a terrifying town when she'd suddenly scream out "MY POTATOES!" and run into the kitchen to make sure they were okay. Somewhat annoyed by this (hey, man! I was getting into this game just watching her!) I decided to turn up the surround sound a bit.

Big fucking mistake.

When she came back and continued playing; the first ghost encounter after one finds the Camera Obscura was perfectly timed.

Grandma jumped a fucking mile high; laughing and screaming at the same time like she was at an amusement park. Then as encounters would occur more often, she began jumping when the phone rang, or when one of the kids would come up behind her and ask her what game she was playing. What can I say, she just loves to be scared.

This game will definitely be enjoyed loud.

"I really like this! The graphics are great; I loved the first one- AAAAAHH!!!! THAT WAS AWESOME!!! [...] ...Shit! My sausages!"

--Videos coming!! More updates on the way!! Keep on commenting and e-mailing and such; we likes.--

--Update: I woke up this morning to discover Sweden = Rock On! Thanks GAMECore!--

15 Comments:

  • At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Brandon said…

    And so Grandma Takes over the world, one country at a time.

     
  • At 11:13 AM, Blogger foufymaus said…

    Go Grandma!! the multitasking wonder of the world. ;) how'd the taters come out? LOL

    mausie

     
  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Brinstar said…

    I am going to start playing that game next week (when I go visit one of my friends). We're going to turn up the volume, turn out the lights, and hopefully we will be able to finish the game before I leave.

    The first one really freaked me out, and I wasn't playing, and I didn't even see it played to the end. We were in a dark basement, big screen TV, surround sound, and it was 12AM. The best enviornment for a scary game. Man, that was creepy!

     
  • At 11:54 AM, Blogger Stephanie said…

    My brother told me about that game a week ago! I've never played it, but IGN has video of Fatal Fame 3: The Tormented and it looks amazing.

     
  • At 11:57 AM, Anonymous Hauk said…

    :DDD

     
  • At 1:38 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    It was the videos of Fatal Frame 3 that made me ask Grandma about the series. I knew she wanted to try the second one, but I never rented it for her because she doesn't usually go for the sequel without finishing the first. She just picked it up and was like "THIS ONE. I'm buying THIS today." How could I argue with that?

    Looks like a few of us will be playing this or watching someone else play this at the same time. I hope the videos don't spoil anything for you guys :) The way the videos are usually cut I doubt they will, though.

     
  • At 3:57 PM, Anonymous kcswanko said…

    I really liked the 2nd one,. I couldn't beat it though. Pretty hard game.

     
  • At 4:22 PM, Blogger Stephanie said…

    I am so excited! I love, love, love this game!

     
  • At 9:50 PM, Anonymous Bam said…

    I would love to see grandma in Paragon City. Has she looked into City of Heroes at all?

     
  • At 11:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sorry if this has been mentioned before, (I'm new here) but has grandma ever seen the Pure Pwnage episodes? If not, you should check out www.purepwnage.com and watch them. They are a mockumentary of a hardcore gamer's life, and they are hilarious. Let us know what she thinks of them.

     
  • At 1:27 AM, Anonymous jonathan bennett said…

    It's ironic that 'Grandma Hardcore' was so worried about her 'sausages'. ;)

     
  • At 7:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you're an idiot, jonathan bennett. hardcore refers to gaming not porn. she tries to make a meal and you get all "i can recognize sex imagery" on this thread.

    go home.

     
  • At 9:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I want your grandma dude, could u rent her out to me, i need her to help me beat contra shattered soldier. I know its a bit old but its worth trying to beat!!!

     
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  • At 1:15 AM, Blogger ibaikalm808 said…

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