Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

[Sunday] SMAGGS #1: Fear Effect 2: Retro Helix

[This is the first post of a mini-six part series I wrote last week for everybody so you would have some fresh stuff about Grandma while we are out camping in the wilderness chasing dangerous squirrels with sticks. We'll be back August 20th when we blog live back in Cleveland once again. Enjoy!]

Part 1
Fear Effect 2: Retro Helix

Oh Christ, what can I remember about this game... I remember Grandma playing both Fear Effects right around the time the Playstation 2 was hitting the market, and everyone was so proud of Sony's commitment to keep making great games for the PS One. I didn't play either game; but I can remember Grandma's perception of different aspects of the game.

The art behind the graphics of this game is what made it appeal to Grandma. She loved the way the characters looked; strangely animated polygon renderings like something out of a newer Disney movie, only with boobs. And guns. Boobs and guns, I remember that much. Damn..... she even played this again recently, sometime last year but I can... only sort of remember.

Ummm.... Oh! I remember feeling uncomfortable when the main character seemed to get all trampy and sexy with Grandma sitting there in silence waiting for something to happen. That was an awkward moment. Also, her TV at the time sucked, so she was pretty close to it the whole time. I remember that classic Sony Playstation startup sound when she clicked on the console.

That's all I can fucking remember. Shit. She really enjoyed both of the series, but I can't honestly remember the exact dialogue she used in this one. Hence the title of this series....


[Another exciting episode coming tomorrow!!]


  • At 7:36 AM, Anonymous Anne Packrat said…

    Heh, wasn't that the one with the lesbian relationship and shower scene?

  • At 8:04 AM, Anonymous Hauk said…


  • At 8:35 AM, Anonymous Brandon said…

    This kinda off subject but, hey Grandma, if you like gaming music as much as me you might wanna check out this site. My friend showed it to me the other day and I dont know how he found it and I'm hoping it wasnt on fazed or something like that or I look like an ass but anyway; people submit their composition of music from games to this site, then it is judged and put up on the site if good enough. I've had a downloading frenzy with it.

  • At 5:57 AM, Anonymous jonathan bennett said…

    The main girl is oddly hot to me.

    There were lesbians AND a shower scene? Damn, I should have kept my PS1.

  • At 7:35 AM, Blogger Megan said…

    There's also www.vgmix.com I like 'em both

    If we're suggesting websites...I haven't been keeping track of the comments, but maybe she would like www.deviantart.com to put pictures of her dolls onto as well as pictures of her paintings.

    Love the site...added it to my favorites and have been checking it every day since it was slashdotted. Yay for OGHC!

  • At 6:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy birthday to your brother, yesterday.

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Kirvi said…

    Hi Grandma! I too loved the Fear Effect games, and am sorely pissed that the third in the series fell through. Rain & Hana were indeed very hot.

    This is the first time I've commented, but I've been reading since almost the beginning. My husband and I are really enjoying the posts.... please keep gaming, Grandma!

  • At 8:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just Wanted to drop in this week and see what Granny was up to. I am playing Grand Theft Auto, Vice City, have San Andres on next weeks shopping list. ...Kansas Gamer Granny

  • At 3:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey love the blog!

    I switched from blogging to squidoo, don't know if you tried it yet but I think it is a little easier.

    Here are some examples of some squidoo lenses:

    All PSP Games Review
    PSP Blender Review
    Satellite TV Elite Review

    Well hope you like and I'll stop by again.

  • At 12:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOL I am suprised
    D3 Items no one possibly described Fog up via FF7. Not really that I favor them as well as anything at all, speculate he is apparently almost everyone's favorite FF character and all, Guild Wars 2 Items I'm certain he has one of several favourite KH heroes.

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