The Telephone: Grandma's Arch Enemy
Grandma is stuck in Psychonauts. It was difficult for me to understand the situation over the phone. Here's what she said:
Grandma - "So, I'm in this one point, where... you're outside- you need to get into a graveyard, see? And I got passed the one guy, I had to give him a Stop Sign, right? But- okay, you need these garden shears that are supposed to be in the trunk of this fucking car, but there isn't shit in there! So I went online, I went to GameFAQs, they said it was in the trunk. I went up to get a strategy guide, but it's just going to say it's in the fucking trunk, and I've ran around there so many god damn times I KNOW it's not in the fucker!!"
Me- "What are you looking for again?"
Grandma - "Garden Shears. Clippers, I guess."
Me - "In the trunk of the car."
Grandma - "Yes. To get into the graveyard."
Me - "Are there other cars?"
Grandma - "There isn't shit."
If this were a conversation about some criminal activity, the investigators would surely find hidden messages and symbolism for "garden shears" and "stop sign," a code for the hierarchy of evil in some insidious cell of mafioso badasses. Strange when it turns out to be about a boy at camp.
The phone turned out to be a poor way of communicating Grandma's frustration, which is a positive turn I think. This means I would have more luck understanding what she's talking about if I'm there with her and I get another excuse for hanging out with Grandma. Also, imagine the conclusion people reach as they watch a scrawny kid in a Weezer shirt strolling across campus yelling into a cell phone "WHAT?? You have to go in the TRUNK to get the GARDEN SHEARS to get into the GRAVEYARD?? Okay!! I'll look into it!!" during Rush Week. No, there is no strange cell-phone yelling, ritualistic, fraternity acceptance option, it's just my Grandma.
--More updates on the way!! Lots of new stuff coming for everybody; comments and e-mails are always welcome. Thanks folks!--