Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Grandma Is Quite Angry With The Prince of Persia

Grandma has long wanted to try the Prince of Persia series after reading the reviews. She was really into Devil May Cry because killing people with swords is far superior than say, coldly sniping them from afar. Also, she enjoyed audibly congratulating herself for a good combo; for example she would whisper "Yeah, ...Stylish" in her best Issac Hayes impersonation; or scream wildly at the television "AWESOME, ASSHOLE!!" ...so I thought she'd probably really enjoy this game. Also, it's Ubisoft, so... yeah.

But there is no joy in Mudville, tonight; at least not until she gets the hang of this shit.

Here are some snippits from Grandma's delve into the world of shirtless Persian men with a taste for sandy blood:

"Where the hell do I go?"

"This game needs a fucking map."

[figures out that pressing left and right repeatedly while hugging a wall makes the Prince appear to dance] HAAAHHAHAHAHA!!!! Look at him!! Look at him DANCE!!!"

"Run up the wall!! Run up the goddamn wall!!"

"Shit. [Rewinds scene so the Prince doesn't die, proceeds to make the exact same mistake and dies anyway] SHIT!!!"

"Where the hell do I go?

[upon seeing a flythrough of the next room's obstacles] "Oh, you've got to be shitting me."


[The Prince has been killed by spikes] "Way to go, fucker."

[While walking through a castle] "Well the windows are pretty."

"Where the hell do I go, asshole??"

"SHIT!! There's no fucking way!"

"Pick me up a strategy guide tomorrow, I need a map."

"I hate this fucking game."

[The Prince falls to his death] God Damn!! This is hard!"

More to come tommorow...


  • At 2:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Did she play Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (the one for PS2)??? I'm a huge fan of the Castlevania series, but I was pissed off and disappointed with the stage design. I wanted the castle to be as complex as Prince of Persia: SoT. That shit's fuggin' huge!

    Btw - your grandma rocks. And yes, for the record I'd hit it.

  • At 2:04 AM, Anonymous Matt said…

    this is making my day

    i would love more pics/vids

    oh god yes

    again,thanks for the sunshine and rainbows

  • At 4:04 AM, Blogger The Ruler said…

    This is God

    Not to worry Tiny Tim, I'm watching over both of you.

    IDDQD - Rock on.

    This was God

  • At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It would be great to have some videos of her cussing at the TV in frustration.

  • At 10:35 AM, Blogger Brinstar said…

    Your grandma is so cool!

  • At 11:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Has she played either of the BloodRaynes? Blood and guts are cool.
    Gramma kicks ass!!

  • At 12:10 PM, Blogger Binsk said…

    That is hilarious...your grandam sounds too cool.

    I have Prince of Persia on my cell phone.

  • At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Trachalio said…

    OH god... this is the best blog ever! And pretty much exactly what I've been screaming at the TV while playing Prince of Persia: The Warrior Within.

    I'm sitting here at work, on my break, crying because I'm laughing so damn hard.

  • At 12:52 PM, Anonymous matt said…

    I know everyone is saying this too but this honestly is the best blog in the world. I was crying from laughing so hard. Is your grandma polish by any chance? I'm asking becasue my dad was the exact same way when playing video games.

  • At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Instantly addictive! You're in my favorites man!
    Enjoy your grandma while she's here. I lost the only one I met too soon.
    Keep the entries coming!

  • At 3:26 PM, Anonymous amity said…

    Don't buy her World of Warcraft! Or has she tried that one already?

  • At 3:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    your grandma is the coolest grandma ever.

  • At 6:11 PM, Anonymous Supamunky said…

    I salute to your Grandma as she shows that some one can hate Prince of Persia more than me.

  • At 6:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Haha, this really made my day.

  • At 6:37 PM, Blogger Blackstone said…

    www.bamf.com pointed me here. Must say, your gramma is awesome, i remember trying to get my gramma to play bowling with me on the 2600 when i was a kid, needless to say, back then, she and atari didnt mix

  • At 9:08 PM, Anonymous Eric said…

    I found this blog from a link on BAMF.com, and god I'm glad I did. I've never found a blog that has made me laugh so hard to the point of crying before!

    Thank you so much for sharing your gramma with the world!

  • At 11:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Man i wish my grandma played video games and cused out the game that would Be SWEET.


  • At 1:38 AM, Anonymous Wolven Spectre said…

    For those about ro ROCK (in the rocking chair)...


    look at the blushing (and jealous) sailors hearing her swear like a FPS player!

  • At 5:25 PM, Blogger scf said…


    The pic of her in the chair rocks. You just know she's about to curse again!

  • At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    P.S. -- I posted a link to your blog on the girl_gamers Community @ LiveJournal. They think your grandma rocks.

  • At 1:51 AM, Anonymous Yuri Lowenthal said…

    Yuri Lowenthal, here.

    Sorry I pissed off your Grandma.

    But, hell, that was funny. You can tell her there's more to come in PoP3.

  • At 6:03 PM, Blogger Licia said…

    I think everyone needs a grandma like that :D


  • At 11:47 AM, Anonymous xl pharmacy said…

    I think this isn't a movie to be watched by a grandmother, actually I think that the movie is quite good in my opinion I like so much..

  • At 2:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    mom trainer a number ofDiablo 3 Gold considerable bum from games. i would anxiety a contest together with her everyday. for just a much easier game playing practical experience look at God connected with Conflict. significantly less dumb banging combinations (princeRS Gold regarding persia) more fun to try out.

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  • At 6:50 AM, Blogger Cherrie Wang said…

    Prince of Persia is a video game franchise created by Jordan Mechner, originally developed for and released on the Apple II Computer in 1989. The original game and its first sequel were 2D platform games.

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