Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Grandma Versus World Championship Poker

Grandma is in between games at the moment. She has always resisted the temptation to go after the casino simulators; really- it isn't the same as a good FPS. Now she can play poker on XBox Live. World Championship Poker lets you create a character in a Sims sort of way that creates a pretty fair depiction of Grandma. The high pitch pleasant voice the quips her character makes don't exactly fit, however.

Character - "I fold! Tee hee!"
Grandma - "I don't have SHIT. Fuck it."

Character - "All in!"
Grandma - "I'm not letting you buy me out, you fucker."

Apparently one of the online game types allow people to enter games randomly when someone leaves, so the game could theoretically go on forever. After the initial "where the hell did these people come from?" Grandma makes her own commentary on their fashion.
"Look at this guy!!"
"What the hell? Tim! Check out this chick!! HA!!!"

I swear to god, if I hear "player checks.....player checks.....player checks....." one more time, the speakers will meet an untimely end at the hands of a late night session with a high powered magnet. We're going to get some new games later, oh yes. It's going to be today.

--More updates coming today!--


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