Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Monday Blog Roundup

It's Monday! So we'd like to share a couple things Grandma and I have found via Grandma's Ultimate Kickass Blogroll (a work still in progress.)

Let's get started-

Kotaku posted about Fake Girl-Gamer sites spamming the gaming blogs community because apparently Females + Controllers = High Alexa Rank. The sites, to which neither Kotaku nor I will link, bought up some decent domain names and republish Weblogs.inc & Gawker RSS feeds.

Grandma: "Girls gamers are not such an oddity that people need to make fake fucking sites. Did you see what they were selling? Motherfucking INSURANCE. The assholes who made those sites must EVIL."

Kidflash over at Photon Torpedoes is freaking out because his wife WANTS TO BUY A PLAMSA TV AND HE NEVER PREORDERED THE XBOX 360 HOLY FUCK!!! We can completely empathize, although we haven't saved enough cash to pre-order ours yet- but the man's getting a big screen sans the greatest system made to date, so it's sort of like buying HDTV cable and watching it on a 13" Black and White portable Zenith.

Grandma: "Damn. NOW she tells him. This poor guy is fucked, there is no way he's getting the 360 before January."

Tracy over at Ycart Nixod is having a cat problem. Let me just say it involves a sneaky landlord SPY. Godspeed to you and your quest, Tracy.

Grandma: "I fucking hate cats."

Collin's corner of the web at Fizzle & Pop ponders the infamous "Las Vegas" question about cigarettes, oxygen tanks, and striking people.

Grandma: "I fucking hate cats. Collin drew a cat. Also, I've never used an oxygen tank, I don't smoke, and nobody has ever hit me- they knew they'd get it back ten fold in return! So I can't help you there."

Boris is waiting to open the GOOD vodka over at Sovok of the Week; they are THIS CLOSE (see my fingers? -THIS CLOSE- nah..you can't see me, forget it) to reaching their 1,000,000th visitor. Give em' a hand! If you are the millionth visitor, there may be fantastic and wonderful prizes! In Soviet Russia, the prizes are not as good, you spoiled capitalist dogs! Be thankful!

Grandma: "If you had 1 million dollars, you could live off the interest. In Russia. I've never been to Russia, it might be cool."

Ivory Netsuke HAS STOPPED PLAYING Worlds of Warcraft!!!!! She's turning to the consoles to get her gaming fix. This may turn into a MMORG vs. Console Goodness battle for one person's patronage- so go give her your opinion!

Grandma: "I'm not touching this one, too many of our friends online play WoW; I can't take sides. [Go Consoles!] Now that I think about it though, I do want to sort of ...try it."

And finally Joystiq has launched a new site for da fanboys of the XBox 360, and I guess after take away the research through magazines, playtime on the Kiosks, e-mails from folks who have tried it, websites analyzing the specs, and reviews of the games... Grandma is still a fangirl at heart. At least when they launch the fucker, then after a year or two she can truly look back at the quality of the machine.

"I'm not a goddamn fanboy; I'm excited because it's AWESOME. Shut up."

Game on!


  • At 12:09 AM, Anonymous Blue said…

    I've got two cats, and I love 'em, but they can be little wenches sometimes. I definitely understand not liking them, ESPECIALLY not the average cat. Ours are people-loving ones, although as a tradeoff they are entirely crazy. Our fault, really: we DID name them Doki-Doki and Abunai, which are the Japanese words for "crazy/panicked/heart-thumping" (onomatopoeia) and "Danger/Look Out!" (respectively). So whaddyagonnado. ::laugh::

    As for consoles vs. PC (or basically MMORPGs): I really can't choose. If someone told me I'd only be able to play one or the other... well, I'd probably laugh or punch them in the face... it'd be a hard decision, but ultimately I'd have to choose consoles, just so that I could play different stuff, and with others when they came to visit. World of Warcraft is an excellent game, but the thing I love about it the most is that I have so many friends to play with online, and that I've met so many amazing people there... shit, now I'm starting to think I'd almost go for WoW. BUT that's crazy-talk, because no one is going to take either from me EVER, so the dual addictions continue. YIPPEE! At the end of the day, it's what you feel like: sometimes WoW, sometimes a console title. I can't offer up one above the other. And I know that makes me of no use at all. ::laugh::

    Also: we should all write to this guy and get him to write a song about Grandma. His stuff is AWESOME, and seriously - OGHC Theme Song! How cool would that be! WOO!

    Take care, be well, GAME ON!


  • At 12:10 AM, Anonymous colleen_33 said…

    How long do you guys and dolls think it will take for the xbox 360 to go down in price? My chittlins would like to have one but i just cant fork over the 400 peso's they want for one right now so im thinking maybe 6 months? what say you?? -colleen-

  • At 12:15 AM, Blogger HandOverFist said…

    Hah, this could be motivation for me to actually update.

  • At 12:18 AM, Anonymous colleen_33 said…

    Oh! one more thing, about the oxygen tank, um hells yeah, he would go BOOM big time, one little spark and Whoosh, just like a christmas tree in march! Also the guy looking for a 360, i dont know where he live but i was out and about today and they had tons at target, but i live in Nebraska so that could explain things *grin* -colleen-

  • At 12:47 AM, Blogger Bi-coastal Eddie said…

    OK, so I need an update on where OGHC is at on that stupid fucking game. Guess where I'm at? Same goddamn place I was on Friday. I've gotten better, and moving all the time seems to be helping, but basically I've made no progress in 3 days. Argh... Also, cat lovers and cat haters should check out www.mycathatesyou.com It's pretty hilarious no matter which side of the cat debate you're on.

  • At 5:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    anyone else notice that the nex xbox and nintendo have similar names? i mean, 1 REVOLUTION is 360 degrees...conspiracy theorists could have fun with that...
    still, i wants the ps3 most. cos of Tekken 6, and the possibility of more Grandia games. then the Nintendo Revolution, cos it can apparently play all the old games...i say w00t for old Zelda...and Super Smash Bros. super smash bros. owns.
    i prefer consoles to pc's, cos i don't have many games worth playing on PC, yet...
    ugh, i need new games...any reccomendations from the Gaming Goddess that is Grandma?

  • At 9:41 AM, Anonymous Lilith said…

    I was wondering if Grandma has tried out Burnout Revenge for the XBox yet? No? Then you really should. It is FUN! My husband rented it last night and we spent easily 6 hours straight playing it. It is kind of like a racing game except you get more nitro power by rear ending cars. And some of the missions aren't to get 1st place, but to get so many takedowns to get the gold medal. (A takedown is basically where you slam another car into a wall or into on-coming traffic and so on) It is super fun. We had to force ourselves to turn the XBox off to go to bed. :)

  • At 9:45 AM, Anonymous Lilith said…

    Oh and I forgot to mention that there are some missions that aren't races at all. In these missions you have to try and start this massive car pile-up that causes so much $ worth of damage to get the gold medal (or silver or bronze). They get more difficult as you get through the game, but it is fun to try to get your vehicle in the best spot to cause the biggest pile-up and the most damage. (We were loudly cheering each other on as cars were blowing up and our money meter was getting higher and higher)

  • At 10:08 AM, Blogger Chrissylas said…

    if you rented revenge and don't feel like dropping $50 on it right now then Burnout 3 might quench your thirst for destruction for now. It's only $20.

  • At 10:36 AM, Anonymous Bethany said…

    OMGosh I had been without internet for like 1 and a half months and was dying for a good OGHC fix. TY. This was the first time I have seen a pic of old grandma and she doesn't look like a game aholic grandma. But hey looks can be deceiving. Go OGHC.

    game on,

  • At 12:46 PM, Blogger ivorynetsuke said…

    w00t! I got a mention! =)

    Seriously, if you have the capability to play a MMORPG, go for it. It's really fun. But when I realized that Warcraft had turned into Warcrack, that's when I knew I had to quit - cold turkey. I still play CoH and CoV, but in much more manageable time slots.

    Boy, Tracy's post brings back some crappy memories of the apartment the hubby accidentally almost burned down. We had several cats (looonnngggg story) that the landlord did not know about, and naturally the freakin' pest control people come in while we're both out and report the cats. Grr. But it all worked out for the best because now we're in a nice house and the kitties can act as spastic as they want. And we all learned a very valuable lesson - don't try to watch WWE wrestling and deep fry fish at the same time.

  • At 4:33 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    Well, to be fair I also drew two freaky heads and George Washington. Thanks for the mention, although I wish it had been on a day when I actually had time to post something worthwhile. Oh well, beggars, choosers and whatnot.

    Glad Grandma is enjoying Fatal Frame III. Right now I'm tied up in Half Life 2 on the XBox. That and really, REALLY wishing I had saved up for a 360. *sigh*

  • At 5:33 PM, Blogger Chrissylas said…

    I posted my 360 experience on my blog. Long story short, I didn't get one but my friend did at danger of death and pneumonia to himself.

    you'll get one grandma. Maybe it won't be as bad a wait as you think.

  • At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Ethrin said…

    Consoles are going to be getting MMOs by the droves too. I find it amusing that a lot of MMO designers are trying to make the next crop of games "more console-like." I guess this means we're going to see a flurry of Phantasy Star Online rip-offing or MMO FPS games. Good thing Phantasy Star Universe is coming out, it'll provide some more rip-off material for the next 6-7 years.

    Some of my friends are looking forward to Huxley:
    The game sure looks sweet, but with MMO lag, is twitch game play really possible?
    It's not like we have those South Korean 20 meg/sec upload/download connections here.

  • At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey grandma I was wondering what your favorite Xbox game is?

  • At 12:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just how long will you people and also babyCheap GW2 Gold dolls assume it will require for your xbox to search all the way down within price tag? My personal chittlins would like to possess one particular however simply just cannot pay in the Four hundred peso's they demand for one at this time so i'm cheap RS Goldcontemplating possibly A few months? what claim a person?? -colleen-


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