Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Grandma Buys Fatal Frame III

Grandma made a trip out to Gamestop in Aurora last night for one reason. She didn't go through the usual browsing of new titles, playing the kiosks or bullshitting with the sales associates, she had come to buy one game, pay quickly, and leave so that she may begin.

That game is Fatal Frame 3: The Tormented. Her photographic war against the spirit world has commenced once again.

It must have been a new guy up at Gamestop, newly hired holiday help; the company preparing for Black Friday and the ensuing mobs of game hungry fanatics, i.e., our sort of people. He kept asking me if there was anything more we needed to buy, if we wanted to reserve any games or systems, if it was I who wanted a bag for the cursed disc for which Grandma had just traded currency. Grandma didn't have time to explain it was her game, that she was really excited after the terrifying ordeal she experienced with Fatal Frame II: The Crimson Butterfly. I only politely answered his questions by pointing to Grandma and saying simply "it's up to her."

When she arrived home, the game was in the Playstation 2 and spinning before she removed her coat.

My, oh my- how the series has grown.

We turned off the lights and cranked up the surround sound. In a matter of minutes, Grandma was moving through a Japanese house with angry ghosts attacking her throat as she desperately tries to get their image on film. The thing no one told Grandma about the beginning of the third installment is the woman begins with a camera, only it's very much NOT the Camera Obscura. So you can take pictures of your attackers all you want, but it won't damage them; only provide a bit of Blair Witch footage for the investigators to find after your strange disappearance.

Grandma's first impression is that the graphics have improved somewhat. The opening CG video and the "JESUS-CHRIST-WHAT-THE-HELL-IS-THAT!?" sequences that appear periodically when you open doors or find some creepy shit are sharp at first then trippy when they need to be. The audio, like the first two, is beautiful. The voice talent on this game is so wonderfully appropriate.

Grandma is jumping left and right, scaring herself into little yelps and screams followed by a slight chuckle to relax; so the game has already achieved its presumed goal in Grandma's first six hours of gameplay.

Grandma likes.

I want to put another video up for you, but I don't know if I want to risk the new camera you all bought for us by making the same mistake of trying to film Grandma playing Fatal Frame. I'll leave it up to you. Should I try, or should I respect the haunted qualities of the game and film something else?

Game on!


  • At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Seems like we have to again donate a new camera to you soon :)

  • At 3:27 PM, Anonymous Arsal said…

    Go Grandma Go! I love fatal frame myself! ALOT. I am a really HUGE fan of it. here's a link for the Fatl Frame series grandma might use...www.cameraslens.com

  • At 4:08 PM, Blogger Bi-coastal Eddie said…

    I need OGHC's help with these 2 footstabbing bitches in Hour 7, Night 21, at the top of the long stairway. These wenches have been stomping me in like a Hell's Angels recruit for 2 days! It's bad enough that I have to play as that candyass Miku here but then no film about a 14? I've gone in there with 6 herbals, a stone mirror and a full charge on Miku's 'slow' meter and I'm still getting pounded and there's no way to get past this area without beating them. I'm gonna go check out the site that arsal suggested, but I still want to know how she did it when she does it. Don't worry about the info being 'too dated' for me, I'm sure I'll still be exactly where I am right now when she finally gets past them.

  • At 5:48 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    I'm not normally superstitious, but that was an expensive ass camera you all bought us; I don't want to take chances.


    YES! Grandma has been lurking on Beyond The Camera's Lens forums back during the FFII days (so... two months ago :) It seems perfect that such a game concept would have a whole community! It's in our bookmarks.

    Eddie, Grandma isn't at Hour 7 yet, but now she knows it's going to be "a bitch," so I'll tell you how she does when it comes. She played for about four hours last night and maybe another five today (she's playing it right now, so the clock keeps going...) but as far as chapters go she's only on Hour 3, I believe.

  • At 7:52 PM, Blogger Chrissylas said…

    No video then? Sad day... I have got to try Fatal Frame 2 still (and 3 looks awesome) but as soon as I can pick it up cheap then it is mine!

    Glad to hear she likes it, makes me want it even more though (which is not a good thing... curse this great game season right when I'm trying to pay for a wedding!)

  • At 8:46 PM, Blogger Stephanie said…

    Fatal Frame!!!!! I'm so excited for you guys. I need to wait for the end of the semester. School be kicking my ass.

    I can't wait to her more AND see your MTV show! HOORAY!

  • At 11:26 PM, Anonymous m said…

    Fatal Frame III is out?! what, what--when did this happen?

  • At 12:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hello!? Isn't the new camera still under warranty? Seems like this would be the PERFECT timeframe to test the Fatal Frame spooks. If they break it, you get a new or repaired camera, and we get more OGHC video!

    Just do it!

  • At 11:00 AM, Blogger 100LittleDolls said…

    I agree, I've been dying for new Grandma fotage.

    Been playing Silent Hill 3 and it's been giving me some creepy dreams. Hoping to get my hands on one of the Fatal Frame games for the in-between-semester break.


  • At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What? Your gonna let those dastardly spirits win? Damn straight you get it all on camera. Don't back down now! That's just what they want!

    I am currently playing Psychonauts and am in the dreaded "Circus Tent of Meat" Is there a challenge mode once you win or do you start all over with nuttin?

    - Mama Lombax

  • At 2:26 PM, Blogger Kirvi said…

    Eddie - If I may - when you hear one of them say, "are you hurt?" LOOK DOWN! They'll be attempting to nail your feet right then.

  • At 4:17 PM, Blogger hugz n drugz said…

    Hot damn...
    You know what i HATE? That PS2 and Xbox both have games that the other dont. I hate it that i cant play some wicked cool PS2 games, like Fatal Frame 3 and some other titles. But oh well, i guess its cool that i can play Doom 3 and Halo 3...but yea, sometimes i do miss my PS2. I wish i didnt fuck it up with my irresponsible gaming.
    Not a good idea to let the motherfucker on and in pause for hours and hours...the lens couldnt take it.
    Oh well, bye.

  • At 12:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Recently beenDiablo III items playing Noiseless Hillside Several this is been supplying everyone a number of weird dreams. Hoping to get my own practical one of many Dangerous Structure games
    Diablo 3 Gold kaufen for your in-between-semester split.


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