Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Grandma Gets Back To Growlanser

After her recent brush with asylum based gaming with The Suffering: Ties That Bind, Grandma has put the second disk of Growlanser Generations, Growlanser III into her PS2 to get back to some pixel based renewal of honor. She begins her game by noticing some of the differences between Growlanser II and III. The theme music, for instance, is a bit different. The menus are switched around, but not more than a seasoned Growlanser warrior can't handle. Grandma is digging the new characters and voices, but one thing upsets her.

It's a little thing, no big deal, really- but it's worth pointing out.

Grandma can't change the names of the characters. She can choose blood type and astrological sign, but she understandably can't name her main guy "Crackhead" or "Sam The Dancing Frog." The recorded voice acting wouldn't be able to compute such a change, so she knows why. It's good to make the game your own, however. In every Final Fantasy game I've ever played, the main character is not "Cloud" or "Squall," it's always "Dude." The emotion of the game isn't diminished at all when a character screams in a silent CAPS voice: "DUDE! WE NEED YOU TO SAVE THE PLANET!!! Don't you UNDERSTAND, DAMMIT??" As long as I'm into it, it doesn't matter.

Grandma is the same way.

The map system is different than the GII, so that is taking some getting used to, but otherwise she's cracking some skulls.

Ask Grandma Hardcore returns tonight at 9:00pm EST! If you wear a costume, you GOT to let us know. The world must understand the reasons you sit at your computer dressed as Ryu talking to Grandma. This is your forum to do so. Also coming soon are Grandma's Podcasts, where she can talk about upcoming games and hardware and take your calls via Skype! If you don't yet have Skype, then go download it. It's about time, isn't it? It's free!


  • At 3:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I actually went out and bought Growlanser thanks to you guys. You're right, it's like Lunar, but very strategic in the battle configurations.

    I likes :)

  • At 4:00 PM, Blogger DY357LX said…

    Tim: 2 quick things:

    1: Did Grandma finish The Suffering 1 before jumping into The Ties That Bind?

    2: How's Skype for adware/malware/etc?
    (Never tried it myself but if it gets good enough pimpage here i'll give it a try.)

  • At 4:10 PM, Anonymous Troels said…

    I remember my young FF-days where I'd name every character after myself or family members. I'd be the main guy, my big brother would be the larger, protective guy(Like Barrett in FF7) etc.

    Other times I would just give them funny names like "f*** me". That always ensured some "interesting" dialogues.

  • At 4:24 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…


    1. Nope. She had not played the original Suffering before playing Ties That Bind.

    2. No Spyware or Adware problems! I fucking hate spyware. I hate spyware more than I hate spam. It's incredibly easy to install and use. All you need is a microphone and computer speakers. Our microphone sucks, but it works great with Skype. Grandma used it for the ExtraLife interview if that gives you an idea of quality. For the stuff we're doing, it's all free, although it has some other service where you can call telephone numbers as well. I haven't gotten into that, so I couldn't tell you anything about it. The free internet chat service is great, though!

  • At 5:36 PM, Blogger hugz n drugz said…

    no big deal.
    going thru reviews and stuff, the 2 and the 2 are just the same, only in different scenarios. but you still gotta return to the prision in a part of the game.

    i dunno, reading those reviews i got kinda disapointed...i dunno if i wanna play that game anymore.

  • At 5:38 PM, Blogger hugz n drugz said…

    goddammit...i meant the 1 and the 2.
    someone needs to take an intensive typing tutorial or some shit like that...

  • At 7:45 PM, Blogger Reeve said…

    I hear ya on the changing names thing. It got kind of weird with Final Fantasy X, though-- you could name Tidus, but he was always addressed by pronouns in the voice acting ("you", "he", etc.). I guess that's the price one pays for having the ability to name characters in a game with voice acting :P

  • At 4:26 PM, Blogger Brinstar said…

    What the heck is your Skype name? I must have missed it or something. :-/

  • At 12:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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