Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Halloween, Our Favorite Holiday

This is the one time of year Grandma looks out the window of her car at the hard contrast of red and orange against the black trunks of the oak and maple trees lining Diagonal Rd saying frequently "God, I wish it would just stay like this all year." Lows in the 40's, Highs in the 50's, it's called "football weather" out here, and it's fucking beautiful. It's just the sort of day you want to put in a VHS copy of The Ring with some cheese popcorn and a couple of sodas and scare the shit out of yourself.

Gamers have it considerably better. We have Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Fatal Frame, and The Suffering. It's one thing to watch the movie, it's quite another to participate. When Grandma gets scared or startled in a game, you'd know it. First, her entire body just sort of twitches up in the air about half a foot, followed by a short scream, then chuckling, then vulgarity. It's doesn't really deviate from that order much.

Long time reader Citizenmuse had a great idea for such an occasion. Let's hear your favorite (or perhaps not so favorite) terrifying shit-your-pants style no-don't-walk-down-THAT-hall-stupid type moments in gaming.

We all remember that moment 20 minutes after we popped in Resident Evil for the Playstation, sat through the crazy cinematic cutscenes, then walked down the hall when THE FUCKING DOG JUMPS THROUGH THE WINDOW JESUS CHRIST!!!

Let's hear them.

Let's get in the mood....

--More coming tonight!!--

26 Comments:

  • At 11:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    At the beginning og Eternal Darkness when you go in the bathroom and then look at the bathtub...Oh my god I wasn;t expecting that and almost pissed myself.
    BTW, please keep us informed of the upcoming air dates for the MTV and CBS specials on Grandma! I do not want to miss that!!

    Love,
    Fellagirly

     
  • At 1:12 PM, Anonymous Stephanie M. said…

    The two scariest moments I can remember offhand were in the first Fatal Frame.

    First one was the rope hallway. The whole game, I hated walking down that hall because I didn't want to touch the ropes, and my fears were justified when late in the game, one of the ropes grabs you and shakes you.

    Second was when Kirie chases you. You can't hurt her with the camera at that point, and when I realized that, I ran like a motherfucker, and was at the other end of the mansion before I paused the game to gibber for 20 minutes.

    So much fun.

     
  • At 1:34 PM, Blogger Me said…

    Oh, lord.

    I still get the adrenaline shakes running from that "touch you and you die" teal blue mutant dolphin end form thingie in Parasite Eve, on the ship. First time, I went the wrong way. Second time, I held the directional button down when I shouldn't have, causing me to go from the newly entered room with the stairs leading down back into the previous room.

    That damn thing glomped me both times.

    UGH! If I can't shoot it or stab it, it pisses me off.

    Hence why I love Metroid. I wonder when Samus is going to find something she can't use her arm cannon on... and it chases her. *shivers*

     
  • At 2:06 PM, Blogger ivorynetsuke said…

    Holy Christ, Me beat me to it!!! Parasite Eve was just overall creepy to begin with, but I thought I was going to have a heart attack with that damned thing chasing me! I think the only other scary moment in that game - even though I saw it coming from a mile away - was having to fight the t-rex. Gah!!!

    Ah, the memories ... I'm tempted to dig out that game and play it over again ...

     
  • At 2:48 PM, Anonymous spyguitar said…

    Damn, that bit in Resident Evil is exactly what I was thinking of. We were all over at this guy's house for his birthday, and his parents gave him a PlayStation and Resident Evil. Big ol' 50" TV, bajillion-watt surround sound system. About 1:30 in the morning that damn dog jumped through the window... we all flew about two feet off the couch, and then started cracking up.

     
  • At 2:49 PM, Anonymous Abe Froman said…

    The Cradle - Thief: Deadly Shadows

    The entire level from start to finish is gut-churning fear that evolves right to the bitter end. Too many frights to mention, and everyone experiences the level their own way, but the way it sustains a near panic for such a long time is a testament to the skill of the writers and designers.

    Not everyone's cup of tea, and everything frightful can be mocked in the bright light of day, but if you allow yourself to experience it as it was intended, it WILL bring you terror.

    http://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthread.php?t=83560

    http://gillen.cream.org/wordpress_html/?page_id=618

    Hi Gramma!

     
  • At 2:53 PM, Blogger hugz n drugz said…

    Danget, i hate to admit but i'm quite a chickenshit coward.
    I get scared so easily...
    I try to avoid "terror" games, i confess...but hey, i'm a 23 year old man guy so i think its time i act like one. So yea, Silent Hill 4 (which i'm currently playing) its a scary motherfucker.
    I remember the thing thru the window in Resident Evil, and Doom 3 made me jump a few times.
    I've heard of Fatal Frame and i'm thinking about buying it.
    But yea, i'm a coward :(

    *sorry, had to make a ninja edit*

     
  • At 3:03 PM, Blogger Kirvi said…

    Hmmm... the absolute best - my daughter and I were still up around 1:30am one night, playing Silent Hill 3. Heather walks into this room, and the entire back wall is mirrored. Well, after what happens, happened, the kid looks at me and me at her and I'm like - Fuck that - and we turned it off and slept in my room with the lights on.

    Otherwise, yeah, the tub in Eternal Darkness, Fatal Frame 2 when you see the twin put her hand on your shoulder, then she walks away and you realize it was a GHOST touching you! The first time I got my head cut off by a chainsaw in RE4. The opening cutscene of Kuon, which scary-chick dragging that bloody guy by the ankles. Sheesh.

     
  • At 3:17 PM, Anonymous Blue said…

    Oh God, I'm such a fucking wuss: scary movies don't even faze me, horror novels don't spook me at all... but I cannot even PLAY survival horror games. Seriously. That FMV in Resident Evil where the zombie just TURNS AROUND was enough to get me to shriek and hide my face in the couch cushions. I would just get too into the game: that wasn't just 'some person' getting their head chewed on by a zombie, that was ME, and by the way AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!

    Heh... I remember a friend telling me that one time he and his friends were playing Silent Hill 2, and they turned the camera around to see something shamble off into the mist. Any sane person would turn and head off in the opposite direction, but no, this was my friend Lem playing, and he is TEH CRAZY, so he goes and runs after it. But... nothing. "Where in the hell did it -" they were wondering when it JUMPED out at them from underneath a car. Imagine a room full of early-to-mid 20-something guys all shrieking and leaping into the air at once, and you've pretty much got that moment pegged. Wish I could've been there ::grin::

    And I remember playing... OH! Sanatarium! Not so scary as in survival-horror-scary, but YIKES that game was CREEPY. In this broken down tower that served as an asylum... and there's just a guy beating his head against a wall and the SOUND was just EEEGH... ::shudder:: Major congradulations to the foley team on THAT one, YIKES.

    Last but not least - Phantasmagoria. I think the acting in that was scary enough (Ba-dump-PSSSH!), but when the woman's husband slowly starts to crazy and evil and then the demony-monster starts chasing you and if you don't do the right thing in time it grbas her and rips her face open like a wet paper bag? YECH! Not very coherent, but those who've played it to the end know what I mean. ::laugh::

    Anyhow, I'm off to Blizzcon later today: you two take care, be well, and I'll bug you later with any news I might have scrounged up, if you're interested ::grin:: GAME ON!

    -A!

     
  • At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Rosie said…

    Oh man, the final boss in Manhunt... piggy... *shudder* that point when you realise your 'bad guy radar thing' doesn't work for him. My girlfriend was playing that with me spectating and when the redneck with a dead pig's head draped over his own leaps squaeling from the shadows with the chainsaw whirring and YOU HAVE NO WEAPONS...!!!...!!!
    Maaaaan, that was nearly brown trousers time, I almost cried.
    LoL
    Rosie - London

     
  • At 6:25 PM, Blogger Master Yoshi said…

    The dog part in Resident Evil did make me jump, but the part that really got me was later in the game. That part when you go into the kitchen...and the view switches to first person of some unknown creature running up the walls and the ceiling and opening all of the doors that you just came through with it's creepy green hand! And then it opens the door you just came through!!! AAAAA!!!!!!!

     
  • At 7:16 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    These are great!! :)

    I think mine would have to be Fatal Frame 2 at the end....

    Jesus.

    I had nightmares, man. Nightmares.

     
  • At 3:15 AM, Anonymous Blue said…

    Oh! Quick note!

    I saw Tycho at Blizzcon today, and he'd not heard of you guys! I informed him duly, and he was like "WOW! This woman is for real? I'm going to have to check that out TONIGHT!" So SCORE! I will win Jerry over to the wonderful goodness that is OGHC!

    GAME ON!

    -A!

    P.S: I am exhausted and I cannot stop using exclamation points! OH NOS!!

     
  • At 7:49 AM, Blogger The Man In Japan said…

    Resident Evil 2. There's a hallway with windows on one side and a wall with paintings (?) on the other. First couple of times through I expected something like the dogs in RE1, alas there was nothing. Just when you've been up and down that hall a hundred times and you're all comfy - BAM! Some crazy muntant zombie jumps out and scared the shit right out of myself and 3 roomies.

    I loved it because it lulled us into a false sense of security...

     
  • At 8:25 AM, Blogger HandOverFist said…

    I was with a large group of friends and it was my birthday. I had just recieved the Resident Evil for Gamecube and everyone was in awe at the graphics. (Mind you this is probably one of the best looking games on Gamecube at the time and one of the first to really utilize cinematics for it.)So we've all played the original and we were ready for all the old tricks and there were many little scares that made us all jump but what got us all too well was in one of the halls. I was running down the hall and the zombies were always banging on the windows so we never payed much attention to them and when you have alot of friends in the room you have some asshole who is making zombie noises and it makes it hard to know when the zombies are actually there. So I'm running back and forth down this hall with the zombies still banging on the windows, trying to figure out what the hell Im doing. Every friend puttin their two cents in, "Go here" "Open that!" "Shoot that!". We finally figure out what we had to do and we're all celebrating talking about it laughing and I run down that damn hall and keep in mind this is on surround sound in the dark. All of a sudden BOOOM! I've never heard so many girly screams from so many guys in my life. The zombies we had ignored for the past hour finally had their way with us. I p0wned them anyway though. :)

     
  • At 1:37 PM, Anonymous dave said…

    Silent Hill 2... you're walking along this 'deserted' street when all of a sudden the frikken zombie that's under this frikken van decides it likes the flavour of your ankles and it jumps out from under the van! holy crap...

     
  • At 5:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was playing Alien vs. Predator at 2:00am so I was kinda tired. All of a sudden this leech-like monster sits all over my predator face, moving and wobbling and just being plain creepy & killing me as well.

    So I flinched back in my comfortable chair, went like 'whoah!', looked away, chuckled at my reaction, looked again, went 'whoah!' again and flinched again ... I decided it was too late for that kind of games.

     
  • At 7:40 PM, Anonymous Alphager said…

    I just stopped playing F.E.A.R. because that girl freaks me out.

    I actually had nightmares about the nightmare-levels of Max Payne 1.

     
  • At 10:25 PM, Anonymous nikki said…

    Silent Hill, in the school with the mutant kids:

    You have to check out this bloody locker; its door is shaking. You open the door, expecting to get startled, but there's nothing in there but blood. OK. A little bit of a let down; all that anticipation, and no payoff.

    As you walk down the row to leave the room, though, a random locker slams open, and a corpse falls out.

    Totally unxpected, and definitely an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! moment.

     
  • At 11:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I dunno about a specific point, but my friends and I made a habit for a while of playing silent hill 2 in the dark with all of us sort of hunched around my friend's big screen tv. After a while, the dude in control would go "hey, uh.. anyone want to control?" and the very OPPOSITE of what normally happens would occur: "um.. no, thats ok man, you go ahead." Definately some moments where we all went "SHITASS!" or something in sync.

    -G

     
  • At 11:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm a sissy. Popped in a friend's Silent Hill 2, and the moment I heard the static, I said 'I don't wanna go that way!' My fiance told me I *had* to go that way, 'cause that's where the plot was. Let's just say after I beat the zombie with the broken 2x4 I turned it off :)

     
  • At 5:38 AM, Anonymous Violet said…

    Hehehe....When I played the first Silent Hill it was with someone who'd already beaten it, so of course he's trying to warn me of spooks coming up. When I got to the schoolyard he warned me of the "mutant kids" (to steal Nikki's term)and I'm running around in circles with the damn flashlight trying to kill it before it could get me. I searched the whole yard and NOTHING, so just as I gave up and turned to run in the opposite direction I found the little bastard had been following me THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME. I screamed and threw the controller at the T.V. (in self defense? haha)I had to wait until the next day to try playing it again.

     
  • At 3:59 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    Okay, the time when I was freaked out the most by playing a video game was in the first Fatal Frame. I ran into a ghost that I wasn't prepared for so I high tailed it out of the room and down the hallway to try to get myself ready, facing back toward the room, and HE CAME THROUGH THE WALL BESIDE ME. I know, ghosts. I wasn't used to facing ghosts.

     
  • At 10:24 PM, Blogger Mr. Priapus said…

    I don't know how many times the Fiend in Quake made me jump out of my freakin' chair. I played that game for years and it never got old.

    As far as pure creepiness goes I'd have to sayt the Hollow Moon mod for UT 2004. It's not just that it's in black and white and there's no sound. The modders really captured the feeling that your really alone in space except for these creatures who are trying to kill you. I can see M. Knight Shamalayan making a film of this one.

     
  • At 12:39 AM, Anonymous Tina said…

    Shit, every time I play Fatal Frame 2 it creeps me out. I'm a naturally high-anxiety person, so ghosts popping out of nowhere in very dark hallways don't exactly make me happy. Every time I have to "fight" a ghost I have to allow myself time to get my breath back after I win.

     
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