Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Grandma's latest fun-filled injury: Torn Rotator Cuff


Well this one's confusing. How the hell she ended up with a common sports injury is beyond me, but one thing is for certain: her ass ain't pitching in the post-season. Of course they asked her about her enthusiastic Wii playing style just thirsty for a new "video games are harmful" scandal, but the truth is much more boring. She's pretty sure she just slept on it wrong and twisted it. Then again, sensationalism is quite fun so... OMG WII BOWLING!

So it looks like she's going to have to go in for some sort of 'micro-surgery' which she's just THRILLED about. In the meantime she's just doing her thing, swearing at Earth Defense Force 2017 and Odin Sphere as though it was their fault it hurts to get a jar of peanut butter from the top shelf in the pantry. Also, she relays this message from her uncomfortable position of frustration and pain:
"What the hell is wrong with people who drop out of a game of Catan once they realize they're losing? Don't do that! And Texas Hold 'Em on XBLA, what they do is they start playing a game, win a hand, and then set themselves as 'away' so they keep folding as the rest of us play. The deal is they usually end up in second place and their rank goes up. They don't lose as much money so they can build up their bankroll. It's not fair to the rest of us, goddammit! Don't fucking cheat by bringing your friends in to pad their rankings, that's bullshit. I'm about ready to stop playing the thing because that's all people do anymore.

Also, if someone at our table doesn't have a headset, or they have it muted, you don't have to keep saying 'HELLO, HELLO, HELLO' to them. Then you leave negative feedback on someone's gamertag thing because they don't know how to say 'Shut the hell up' without sounding rude. Don't do that. IM them if you want to find out why they're not talking. Don't ask us. We don't know! Why would we know?

As Grandma ponders the etiquette of Xbox Live, I'll keep ya posted. Sunday we'll probably talk about Odin Sphere or Earth Defense Force 2017; whichever one she's focusing on, really. I'm also working on some new videos as well, so... on we go!

Game on!

14 Comments:

  • At 7:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    She is correct. MAny people on XBL are SO annoying.

     
  • At 8:00 PM, Anonymous briggs said…

    Should I give Earth Defense Force a try? I never thought it looked that appealing. I don't understand Catan, either, don't care much for it, but many are into it. Love the picture with the Dead Rising photo captions. I am anxious to see how she is doing in Odin Sphere.

     
  • At 9:21 PM, Anonymous BlueNocturne said…

    briggs, if you appreciate classic shooter gameplay, then EDF is a must-have!

     
  • At 10:00 PM, Blogger Tim said…

    I know how she feels. Those people who insist that you talk if you're wearing a mic are even in Rainbow Six Vegas. Those assholes. Anyway, I'm looking forward to the new vids!

     
  • At 1:37 AM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    briggs-

    EDF is one of those games where it's so damn corny and absurd it MAKES it fun. Definitely worth the purchase. The Acheivements, however, take FOREVER. Good luck getting the hardest stages without utilizing co-op. Grandma and I are still trying to complete the second-to-hardest difficulty, aptly named "Hardest". (Last is "Inferno")

     
  • At 9:14 AM, Anonymous Xelda said…

    Wow! I'm so impressed. I accidentally stumbled on this website while surfing the Bethesda blog. Grandma is awesome! I wrote about her in my blog and made a link to hers. I hope this is me in 60 years! =)

     
  • At 7:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Odin Sphere is a good game. Although, you will be swearing at the slowdown that happens during boss battles. Protip: When fighting the wizards, take it slow and knock their swords back into them.

     
  • At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Mreechan said…

    Annoying people are the reason I don't shell out 50 bucks a year for a gold XBLA subscription. That, and I'm poor. But mostly that first part.

     
  • At 6:47 AM, Anonymous Crowz said…

    Lmao, great photo.

     
  • At 1:39 PM, Blogger Faithful 2 U said…

    Keep It Coming! Cool Blog! Give Them Hell! @$$ Are Everywhere!

     
  • At 12:18 PM, Anonymous Los Angeles injury lawyer said…

    Good stuff. Let me know if I can be of service, my friend is a Los Angeles injury attorney, I'm sure they'd love to represent Grandma. LOL

     
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  • At 2:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I knowCheap Diablo 3 items how she's. TheD3 Gold individuals which firmly insist which you talk in case you are D3 ITEms putting on any mic are even in Range Six Lasvegas. People Cheap Guild Wars 2 Gold assholes. In any case, I am looking towards the revolutionary vids!

     

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