Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Happy 70th Birthday, Grandma!!

On this day in 1936, in the fair city of Cleveland, Ohio: Barbara Ann St. Hilaire was born Barbara Ann Sobodosh. She was married soon out of high school and had five children; Deb, Diane, Linda, Ralph, and Mark. Sometime during the mid seventies she discovered something at a bowling alley that resembled table tennis on a television.

On that day, that unrecorded yet monumental day: a new creature, "Old Grandma Hardcore," came into this world; kicking and screaming at everyone she could kick. She might not kick as hard anymore, but she can still fucking scream.

Today Grandma works for MTV as the senior games correspondent for "The G-Hole." She was featured in ESPN the magazine, Der Spiegel Online, FHM Germany, BusinessWeek Online, CNN, CBS Evening News, WKYC Channel 3 (NBC), Fox 8 Cleveland, Channel 5 Cleveland, The Washington Post, The Akron Beacon Journal, The Record Courier, The Sydney Morning Herald, Fark, countless radio stations across the globe, as well as hundreds of blogs, messageboards, and e-mails, all within the past six or seven months. Millions of people have heard of Grandma and her habits.

I am DEEPLY proud of Grandma and what she has achieved. When people ask me if I am surprised at the media attention I have to respond with simply "not anymore." As family, it's difficult to assess her character from an outside perspective, but it is not hard to see why she's special.

It's just after midnight here at the house, and if I look just to my left I can see the woman who helped raise me into the funny-looking jackass you see today, angrily trying to punish dinosaurs with bullets in Peter Jackson's King Kong for the XBox 360. I love the old girl! We've been close since always. I can't say I'm jealous or threatened by any of the hundreds of thousands of "new" grandchildren she's acquired since we started this blog. She has a huge, loving family- and it's only getting bigger.

I want to ask her what she thinks about all this; the attention, the free games, the advice, the assistance, the travel, the money, the love.... but right now she's a little preoccupied, and it's her birthday.

"It wouldn't be BAD if you could kill them with one shot, these...FLYING things, but- NO!!! ......Where the fuck did YOU come from?! SHIT!!! Right at the FUCKING end, too.... ....stupid motherfucker!!"
[Game Audio]: "50 magazines on backup!"
"Mister, you could have a thousand magazines on backup, you're still gonna fucking DIE."


Happy Birthday Grandma.

Game on!

64 Comments:

  • At 12:40 AM, Anonymous Elebrand said…

    Happy birthday!

     
  • At 12:50 AM, Anonymous Forrest said…

    hey how did you get 50 mags on back up? i played that whole game twice and never had more than 10 or 12.

     
  • At 1:09 AM, Anonymous Samantha said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma =) and I hope you have many more adventures in the years to come.

     
  • At 1:09 AM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    forrest-

    Maybe the dude said "fifteen" (sounds like fifty); I don't know! I just listen and type and puff on a cigarette once and awhile :)

     
  • At 1:22 AM, Blogger Forza_Motorsport_King said…

    Happy Birthday Hard Core Granny from all of us here in the big ol Grenfell, Saskatchewan lmao.
    GAME ON!!
    Jason

     
  • At 1:47 AM, Blogger paine said…

    Happy birthday i am going to send a card too i thoght i had more time though it was later on in the moth.

     
  • At 1:56 AM, Anonymous Blue said…

    YAY! Happy birthday Grandma!

    Card is going in the mail TOMORROW, I suck so much for not mailing it earlier... I actually had it all ready to go, sitting RIGHT by my computer, for several weeks in fact... but I hesitated because I didn't want to ruin the surprise, and then work, and... CRIPES, see where it got me! ::laugh::

    Sans excuses, I wish the very best of birthdays to our beloved OGHC, and I wish her many, MANY more. Keep being an ass-kicking, fun-loving, wonderful unique person, Grandma ::smile:: ::hug:: Take care, be well, and GAME ON!

    -A!

     
  • At 1:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma!

    P.S. GeekLabel.com does custom t-shirts (as well as having hilarious ready made ones) They are FAR better than cafe press IMHO. Worth checking out at the least, since they ship too.

    ~Fayted.

     
  • At 2:05 AM, Anonymous Melissa said…

    Oh wow, Grandma is 70!! Happy Birthday!! Keep playing and making people happy :) (I always love to check in on Grandma and see what she's up to) ;) I'm gonna be just like you one of these days... a true gamer goddess! :D haha!

    Melissa

     
  • At 3:32 AM, Blogger ivorynetsuke said…

    Happy fantabulous birthday to you, Grandma!

    Dana

     
  • At 3:55 AM, Anonymous Ewa said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma!
    Greetings from Norway!
    I am a 34 year old mother who's been gaming since the age of 12.
    Reading Timothy's blog about you has given me so many good laughs, and I totally relate to your comments while playing!
    You truly are an inspiration to all gamers grandma!
    I hope you get all the presents you wish for!!!
    Again...Happy Birthday Grandma!

     
  • At 4:49 AM, Anonymous Duffy said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma,hope you have a great party and that you can keep on playing for many years to come.

     
  • At 5:00 AM, Anonymous Max A said…

    WOW

    Happy Happy Birthday!

    Grandma!

     
  • At 6:52 AM, Blogger Eh... Not so much said…

    Happy Birthday, Grandma! Keep gaming on!

     
  • At 7:56 AM, Anonymous Frank said…

    Happy birthday Grandma!

     
  • At 8:23 AM, Anonymous Jeroen said…

    Happy birthday! Greetings from the Netherlands.

    Game on!

     
  • At 9:33 AM, Blogger O0 said…

    Happy Birthday! Greetings from Argentina.

     
  • At 9:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday OGHC!!!!! I hope you enjoy every minute of it. You are the best grandma ever!!!!

    <3

     
  • At 9:40 AM, Anonymous Toffe said…

    Happy birthday Grandma from Åland, Finland!
    I hope you have a great day and that you get lots of great gifts!
    (I was going to send you something, but since the shipping is so expensive, and I´m so poor at the moment, I couldn´t, but I have a feeling you´ll receive a lot anyhow, game on!)

     
  • At 9:48 AM, Blogger Leci said…

    I, just like the others, had a card to send. I didn't want to have it sent too early, then I just forgot about it. ;_;

    Happy Birthday, Grandma!

     
  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger Jess said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma! Keep on kicking ass!

     
  • At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma all the way from Louisiana!! I loved your comments on Animal Crossing. I have been sucked into the A.C. world. I'm considering rehab. hah. Have a great day!

     
  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger what's_my_line? said…

    HAPPY 70 GRANNY!
    -from Tejas

     
  • At 12:26 PM, Blogger Brinstar said…

    Happy birthday, Grandma!

     
  • At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Zwomann said…

    Happy B-Day, Gramz from my small-ass cubby hole that I work from in Toledo, Ohio. Thanks for giving me lots of laughs when I fuck off work and cruise the net!

     
  • At 12:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday from a sister Aquarian!

    You're an inspiration! BTW - I wanna see more of your art.

    Love,
    Mama Lombax

     
  • At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Stephanie M. said…

    Happy birthday Grandma! I hope your 70th year is as awesome as your 69th. ^_^

     
  • At 1:20 PM, Blogger foufymaus said…

    HaPpy BIrtHday!!!!

     
  • At 1:24 PM, Blogger Reeve said…

    A very Happy 70th Birthday to you, Grandma!

     
  • At 2:26 PM, Anonymous Dave D said…

    Happy Birthday gran ! j00 |20xx0|2 !

     
  • At 2:40 PM, Anonymous outlawed said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma! Game on!

     
  • At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Ikael said…

    Happy birthday Grandma! Greetings from Spain! ^o^

     
  • At 4:24 PM, Anonymous Jessicaa said…

    Happy birthday, Grandma! My cat was born today, too. He turns five today. Hurray! I hope you have an amazing birthday. Best wishes!

     
  • At 4:45 PM, Blogger Louise said…

    Happy birthday, Grandma! I hope you have a wonderful day today. :)

    Best wishes and many, many years!

     
  • At 5:21 PM, Anonymous Stacy said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma! In true grandma style, you amaze us with your 50 magazines on backup. My best wishes to you on your day and I wish you many, many more. Game on!

     
  • At 5:31 PM, Anonymous Liz B. said…

    Happy Birthday, OGHC!

    Best wishes for turning those dinosaurs into a fine red mist on your day.

     
  • At 5:32 PM, Blogger Siesh said…

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

    I hope you have a fabulous relaxing lovely day!!!

     
  • At 5:55 PM, Blogger HandOverFist said…

    Happy Birthday!

    |-|/-\|>|>13 |31|27|-||)/-\Y

    Alles Gute zum Geburtstag

    Feliz Cumpleaños

    Joyeux Anniversaire

    Buon Compleanno

    WOOOooOoOoOooOoOOOOOoOoO!!11

    Thanks to Google Language, I look smart! Game on!

     
  • At 6:17 PM, Anonymous Voodoo™ said…

    Uta vieja rql... me cago de la risa con tus hueas.. xD

    feliz cumple y ... game on!

     
  • At 8:00 PM, Anonymous James McDone said…

    Happy Birthday Barbara Ann St. Hilaire and Old Grandma Hardcore, LOL.

    Take care and let your children win, sometimes ;-)

     
  • At 8:11 PM, Anonymous Jess 2.0 said…

    Happy Bloody Birthday from Australia Grandma!
    Keep knocking down those age and gender stereotypes for all of us. I like to think that in a small but significant way you and Tim are making the world a more openminded and tolerant place for all of us. Don't stop.

     
  • At 8:17 PM, Anonymous maryofdoom said…

    Happy birthday, Grandma! May you keep on gaming and kicking ass for many, many years to come!

     
  • At 9:16 PM, Anonymous rpm said…

    Happy Birthday!

     
  • At 9:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma!!!

    Many wishes for a wonderful birthday and thank you for letting us be a part of your family.

    Hugs
    MystifyVa & Mason

     
  • At 9:48 PM, Blogger crashcaddy said…

    cadillac says:
    Heres wishing you the BEST BIRTHDAY ever.I love reading your blog as when I'm having a bad day at work you make my day.You are my hero and I wish you were my grandma.
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY grandma hardcore.Heres wishing you many more years of gaming.Birthday wishes are coming from Grenfell,Saskatchewan.
    We all love you!

     
  • At 10:08 PM, Blogger Master Yoshi said…

    We all love ya Grandma. 1936 was a good year eh! Pong rules.

     
  • At 10:25 PM, Blogger George Larson said…

    Happy birthday grammie!

    I've got a swing with your name on it!

     
  • At 2:03 AM, Anonymous John said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma!! Reading about your exploits is the highlight of my morning.

     
  • At 8:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma! We all wish you many more happy and adventurous years.

    Love,
    Kate

     
  • At 9:14 AM, Anonymous Princess Zelda said…

    Happy 70th Birthday Grandma,

    It's been a pleasure reading about your adventures in the pixeled world and in the real world. You Rock! I hope to still be battling the polygon monsters at midnight when it's my 70th birthday. I sent you a Birthday card last week, I think you'll like it :)
    With Love
    Karen

     
  • At 12:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    As has been said before, rock on, Grandma! Congrats on reaching your 70th, and may you have many more! I also mailed you a card - hope you enjoy it.

    Fairyvicki

     
  • At 5:33 PM, Blogger DDREEK said…

    Happy B-day Grandma
    we all love you

     
  • At 6:38 PM, Blogger hugz n drugz said…

    my grandma is 82...and she's useless.
    i dont like birthdays and i have no friends or life...
    anyways, happy birthday ma'am.

     
  • At 7:26 PM, Blogger school_rocks said…

    ya happy birthday hard core grandma i wish i had a game cube for my birthday. i dont cause i am always broke but i guess i should tell u hapy bday from bionca from saskatchewan canada

     
  • At 7:28 PM, Blogger theCurse said…

    Long-time reader, first-time poster.

    Happy birthday, Grandma!

     
  • At 6:46 AM, Blogger 666 said…

    Happy B'day Grandma :)
    Believe me India is catching up with grandma very fast.

     
  • At 4:42 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    Happy Birthday Grandma!

     
  • At 5:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy birthday Grandma! I shall slaughter some dinosaurs in your name, even though you're at least 100 times better at it than I am!

     
  • At 7:19 PM, Blogger Andrew Noland said…

    Well, I'm sorry this is late but I do want to wish Grandma happy birthday and I truely hope it was a very good one for her.

     
  • At 8:37 PM, Anonymous TaiCat said…

    Tell Grandma Happy Birthday from all polish gamers!
    I hope you'll live long and never gonna left games!

    I gonna be a Hardcore Granny too :D...but still 40 years at least :D

     
  • At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Since no new posts from Tim, thought I'd relate right here what happened to me yesterday evening.

    Am new to my area having moved here about 6 mos. ago. Found, finally, another GameStop near me. After all this yammering about the DS and Animal Crossing, and a desire to play Mario Kart DS which a friend talks about all the damn time, I bought a DS yesterday..Mario Kart version/edition. Then went on the hunt for Animal Crossing for it. HA! That's when I found the GameStop that I didn't know about. Went in and my luck, they sold the last copy in stock to the kid in front of me. I saw it and the kid was glowing happy (said kid being a bit younger than me, meaning WELL over the age of 21) as he clutched the case to his chest and merrily ran out the door. I asked the young man behind the counter, with hopefulness in my voice, if there were any more. Nope. Last one! Damn, and double damn! I was out in this stinking rain crap weather, tired and hungry. The young man went on to tell me they wouldn't hold one for me or anything but they'd have more next week, I should call after 2:30pm and ok, since I live nearby, they'd hold it a half hour for me to come and get it. What day? Dunno..could be any day. How long do you keep it in stock, on average? Not long. Specific? Dunno..not long. He then asks me if my kid would like one of the other great DS games. I tell him *I* am said kid who owns the new DS that's waiting for me in my vehicle and I want Animal Crossing, damnit! He laughs, apologizes (nice kid) and proceeds to tell me how addicted he is to Animal Crossing, that is OWNS him right now, etc. etc. Another customer chimes in as he loads up on a couple XBox games. I engage in game talk with both of them and mention that I am on this quest for Animal Crossing all because of a great blog I read. The XBox guy says.. COULD THAT BE OLD GRANDMA??? I laugh and choke and tell him, yup, sure is! Been reading is since its first week. Love it. We all talk about how great this wonderful gamer grandma from "up north" (I live "down south" of Cleveland in East-Cental OHIO) and the XBox guy shows great envy that I own the t-shirt, laments that he should have ordered one. The GameStop kid has heard of ya Grandma but hasn't read Tim's blog. Said he heard about you on a couple sites and also via MTV. He's now going to read the blog (or is..hehehmaybe you'll save me a copy of Animal Crossing??) So Grandma, you're even famous down here in the boonies where I-77 and I-70 meet.

    GAME ON!!

    --Ruthie
    PS..........I am lovin' Mario Kart and it's given me a break from my recent obsession with a MMORPG. I dunno if Animal Crossing will even "OWN" me but I'm just dying to see this game, just cuz. Mostly cuz of TIm's comments..hehe. Besides, I like this red DS!!

     
  • At 2:19 AM, Anonymous colleen_33 said…

    70??? is that all, pfftttt, you have a long way to go granny! Happy Birthday to you and many more! Love from Nebraska! Colleen_33
    p.s. Beautiful tribute you wrote to yer grammy!

     
  • At 11:37 AM, Blogger Maharet said…

    I AM GOING TO CRY AT MY WORK DESK!!! i've only just found your site and i can't believe the wonderful job you've done. your granny must be so proud! sorry i missed her birthday, but here's a belated birthday with from all of us at Maharet's Brood! XOXOXOXOXOXO GAME ON GRAMS!!!

     
  • At 2:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Cards is D3 ITEms certainly going in the mailCheap Guild Wars 2 Gold The next day, I draw a whole lot for not posting that earlier... I personally been there ready Buy Diablo 3 items to go, resting Appropriate simply by our pc, for several days the truth is.

     

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