Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Friday, August 26, 2005

Hate Mail Grab Bag #2: God of War Edition

It seems Video #9 made it's way onto the screens of some very ...passionate people. I have here a glass of orange juice with a bit of Gin and a tiny umbrella, so...

Let's do some responding!


#1: This FILTH is EXACTLY what we are TRYING to REMOVE from video games. And you think it's funny! You need to take a good look at your life and decide if what you are doing is GOOD or just NASTY. Signed- Trisha

Thanks for your letter Trisha! Well, Grandma and I think sex in video games can really work sometimes, for instance: what about Birdo from Mario Brothers fame? Remember Birdo? That pink, wide mouthed egg shooting monster was shooting fetuses. What about the unborn Troopa children? Are they worth nothing to you? ARE THEY??? Yeah, fuck it- Mario had it coming. He should just step up and pay child support, that's what he should do... What was the question?

#2: Why do you endorse violence in video games? More importantly why do you make it seem as though your GRANDMA endoreses [sic] violence? You should grow the fuck up. Signed- MbMonkey33

Thanks for your letter, Monkey! Well, I make it seem like Grandma likes violence in video games by "typing" on a "keyboard" the things she "says" and "taping" her having "fun" with said games. Also, she used to slap me upside the head when I goofed off as a kid (I deserved it, I was an annoying little shit) so I know she uses violence as an educational tool as well.

#3: You are completely missing the point in God of War. The sex was a SELLING point, it doesn't ADD to the game, you sellout fucker piece of shit. I used to think Grandma was funny, asshole. Don't highlight all the sensationalist bullshit that makes mainstream gaming the pile of mediocrity it is. Signed- Fuck You

Thanks for your letter Fuck You! Fuck You!! That's a silly name, but who am I to judge. I'm named after the mouse in Mrs. Brisby and The Rats of Nimh. And try putting Timothy St. Hilaire on a credit card! They can't do it! There's a period! ...Also I have shitty credit. Well, you see- in God of War you're a pretty, say- "period-appropriate" sort of guy. The heroes back then, when gifted with extravagant powers of the gods, did get the pick-o-the litter so to speak. It would be like making a game about Christopher Columbus and omit the whole "cut the hands off natives" bit that made the story so.... "sick beyond words." Now if they made a game where you're a native battling against the conquistadors, I'd fucking play it, man. I just hope they give it the attention to detail it deserves. The sex in God of War was a bold choice, man. Just because you make it a point not to buy anything that makes the top 50 list for the month doesn't mean that you're special. There are a lot of good indie games there are a lot of good "mainstream" games. You don't need to-- ....aw fuck it, next e-mail.

#4: I came here from the review in the Village Voice. You aren't anything special. My Grandma plays video games too. She can beat your Grandma any day. Signed- Louis Prima

Hey!! I LOVE your music man!!! Rock on!! Oh, that was one of those 'pseudonyms.' Fuck, I got all excited. The Village Voice review in "Screens" was very nice to Grandma and I. To get a review from Village Voice in any form is an honor I don't take lightly. You, however, are correct in saying there are many other gamer grandma's out there, and some could probably beat her in some games. I say this a lot, but I stick to it- Grandma is my favorite gamer granny. After that comes the very cool gamer granny's that read and comment on the site, then comes your gamer granny Mr. Prima. Sorry to disappoint you.

#5: You are a transgendered freak. I went to CWRU, don't think I don't know. You think people would read your site if they knew you're going to be a girl soon? You think people would link to you if they knew what you are? So help me I will find every message board that mentions your dumb ass site and tell people what you are. You make me fucking sick. Signed- 'anonymous'

So? People read about Grandma, not me, so- Fuck it, next question.

#6: GOD OF WAR SUUUUCCCCKKKKSS!!!! It was fucking DEVIL MAY CRY with a GREEK instead of a VAMPIRE!!! FUUUUCCCCKKKK YYYYYOOOOOUUUU!!!!!! Signed- "JOEKISSMYASS"

Thanks for the letter Joe! You know, I think Grandma and I disagree with you. Oh well! It's your hotmail account, do what you want!

#7: God of War is just as bad as GTA: San Andreas if not worse. You just helped me see that, thank you. I will be sure to add this game to my list of horrible marketing tools designed to hurt children. Do you like what you do? Do you think that parading your Grandma around will make people think twice about these petty games?? Signed- Rebecca

Thanks Rebecca! Glad I could help! You have a list? That's cool, I keep lists too. GoW is a great game, I hope you reconsider. It has a great story so far with some wicked graphics.... Come on.... you sure you don't want to play? To answer your questions- first one YES, second one, NO not really. Games are only petty if you don't appreciate them for what they are.


Wow! My glass is empty! Gin is great, man. Great stuff. I love being legal. Maybe I should spell check or something..... Well, I could have printed all the hatemail we got over Video #9 but "Ctrl-C + Ctrl-V" is really hard after the hundredth or so time you do it. (Not even kidding, friends, we got, as Grandma likes to say, a "shit-ton" of hatemail over that last one. So go watch it again! It don't cost you nothin'!)

--More updates coming tomorrow!! Thanks for the comments and e-mails!!!--

36 Comments:

  • At 8:55 PM, Anonymous Ko said…

    Wait, wait, wait... Why would people suddenly hate your grandma if you are transgendered? I don't get it... Maybe I'm biased, being bigendered...? But still... bah. Anway. I've been visiting for a while, but never really had anything to say until now, so...uh. I guess here's the obligatory "awesome site, kickass grandma" post. :)

     
  • At 9:12 PM, Blogger EazyCheeze said…

    You should check out Planet Half-Life's Mailbag sometime; Jabberwocky's responses to his hate/idiot mail are different from yours, Tim; he doesn't play it totally stupid, he makes a point of correcting the idiots/haters even though he shows the same amount of contempt you do. Not that those guys don't deserve it, just that I think you'd be a lot funnier if you tended towards the correctional instead of the oblivious.

    Just a suggestion, and keep up the great work! *hugs to your grandma*

     
  • At 10:33 PM, Anonymous kerry said…

    Haha, good stuff.

    You may want to notify those people they should get those sticks up their asses taken out or at least looked at.

     
  • At 11:23 PM, Blogger Jakanden said…

    Hey eazyCheeze, I have never checked him out before, but after your post I did and damn that is some funny stuff =)

    Regardless this post still made me smile Tim so keep it up =)

     
  • At 11:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Jesus CHRIST! Does your family fucking know??? How does this person know your intentions? You're fucking transsexual?!

     
  • At 11:33 PM, Anonymous sam said…

    Does your Grandma know you're a fairy?

    You should tell her and tell us what she says.

     
  • At 12:59 AM, Anonymous jonathan bennett said…

    Wow, there are some stupid people in the world.

    "I will be sure to add this game to my list of horrible marketing tools designed to hurt children."

    Rebecca, you win the prize for being the most stupid. A McDonalds hamburger is more likely to damage your child than the average video game. When your children become teenagers, they'll likely to rebel (with or without you knowing) of your attitude and have much sex behind your back.

    People who hide their children from the world will find that they become insecure adults.

     
  • At 1:19 AM, Blogger Elyscape said…

    A McDonalds hamburger is more likely to damage your child than the average video game.
    And, given that McDonalds hamburgers are essentially poison inna bun (of poison), she really is focusing on the wrong vice.

     
  • At 1:57 AM, Blogger Alice Lee said…

    For the record, I am transgendered as well, and you're absolutely right: that should have nothing to do with this excellent blog about your grandmother who plays video games. Fucking rock on!

     
  • At 2:27 AM, Anonymous colleen_33 said…

    HEY PARENTS, what your kids read, watch, eat, etc, is YOUR responsibility, why is that so damn hard for people to get?? Instead they go to sites and bitch at people about the content and expect others to do the parenting for them. Life isn't pretty and you cant keep your kids from everything but for godsakes, quit the blame game! Sorry rant over tim:) oh! and DO NOT respond to the moron's who want to know if your transgendered, or if your fam knows, Who gives a rat, you are who you are and i dont think your web site is dependent upon wether you have a penis or vagania.
    Colleen

     
  • At 3:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    something tells me that since he is cool enough to post the hate mail referring to him becoming transgendered (be it true of not), he is also cool with any other critism that comes from the blog (or it wouldn't have been posted on the front page). a persons body and what they do with it have nothing to do with this website at the least.

    and i love those people that blame games on there failures as a parent :) those hate mails are always fun to read.

    keep up the great work :) and don't take any shit!

     
  • At 3:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    AH yer grandma uses the term "shit-ton" also. Thats great, I haven't met anyone else who used that word before. Hope this means I am on the right track to ending up being a older gamer too ;)

     
  • At 4:56 AM, Anonymous Geena said…

    Hey, I'm a transgendered freak & I love your site. Good luck to you if you are or aren't. That ass anonymous can go fuck himself.

     
  • At 10:20 AM, Blogger Ozark said…

    Oh My God!!!

    Speaking as a parent of 3 you have to know what your kids are playing. Quit bitching about what other people are playing.. If a child is playing games like GOW or GTA: San Andreas, it is the parent's responsibility to make sure that game doesnt get into their hands.

    Yes there should be limits. My kids can't watch me playing certain games and I usually wait till they are in bed to play them. I also make it my business to know what they are playing or watching.


    Also, maybe you should set up a Wall of Shame page and post all the hate mail and comments you get. With some posts from Grandma's reactions to the mail.

     
  • At 11:17 AM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    Alright, everybody- There are a lot of good ideas coming from this thread, so I'll address them in some posts later about the possibility of a Wall of Shame- and yes: Jabberwocky is pretty god damn funny. eazyCheeze: what can I say man, I was drinking when I wrote this post. :) By the way, dude- e-mail me, I have a question for you.


    Now on to the (for some reason) "big subject," hopefully the last time I'll need to address it in any official sort of form; I don't plan on making it a theme of the site:

    Yes. I'm transgendered. As most of you pointed out already- big fucking deal. An asshole tried to out me on some boards of some people that trust me and I thought it would be better they hear it from me than that asshole. Yes, my family knows, including Grandma; and no- they don't give a shit either. To my understanding, that's a good and sometimes rare thing. I was hoping to one day just sign e-mails and posts differently and hope if you noticed it was more of a "huh, that's interesting" sort of reaction. It's all good. I still go by 'Tim' for the time being and I don't wear girly clothes because, let's face it, at this early stage in the game, I'd be pretty fucking hideous. I'm realistic. To go from a guy to a gal takes awhile, despite what some of you may think from watching Springer, so it's not really in anyone's interest for me to make this site suddenly be about me and my "depressing struggles" or whatever the fuck you want to call it :) I'm just going to post about Grandma. Grandma fucking rules. 'nuff said.

    Also- thanks for the e-mails and comments, folks- I mean that- THANK YOU. I knew you were all cool with everything, you just vindicated my decision to back this "outing fucker" into a corner by posting their e-mail on the main page.

    To the LGBT people who read the site- It's all good. I knew we had an army or something :)


    But back to the issue at hand. GOD OF WAR. There is still much to talk about; much to see in this game. We're also starting a bit of a political campaign against the likes of Jack Thompson and Hillary and anyone else who makes the mistake of equating video games with Violence and SATAN. Grandma is all for it. "Fuck those people" she says.

    Indeed, Grandma. Indeed.

     
  • At 11:28 AM, Blogger ivorynetsuke said…

    god damn.

    you know, some people just aren't happy unless they're talking shit about other people.

    ::hugs to grandma, hugs to tim::

    just be true to yourself and know that there are a lot of us out there in internet-land who depend on you to keep putting OGHC out. it's funny, it's down-to-earth, and dammit it makes me feel good. i always look forward to reading new updates. you guys rock.

    and if i hadn't had such a big electric bill, i would've won that auction!!! ::grr::

    Dana

     
  • At 3:39 PM, Anonymous Hauk said…

    woo..man..teach tehm bastards good..lets face it..those hate mail people..they just want a grandma just like you Tim...

    game on! or..was that right?




    Hauk

     
  • At 4:08 PM, Anonymous Bazaar69 said…

    Just wanted to know I found this blog today and... GRANDMA FUCKING ROCKS!!! You have a portuguese fan you hear!! I love to play too so I know how you feel when the PS2 is on and you have the dual shock in the hands... Continue the great work!! GRANDMA FOREVER!!!

     
  • At 4:27 PM, Blogger Ian Charles said…

    wow, this was like the We love Jack Thompson club all writ in at once O_o

     
  • At 4:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't suppose there is an RSS or ATOM feed for this blog, is there? I'm not finding it.

    Oh, and indeed, Grandma is awesome.

     
  • At 4:57 PM, Anonymous Blue said…

    Tim, you are awesome. And your grandma is awesome. Earlier I was saying that your grandma was my hero, but seriously, you BOTH are. I'm sorry you have to deal with so many complete morons - especially bigoted fuckers who have a problem with others being different than they are - and please know that for all the asshats out there who bitch, there are THOUSANDS more like myself who very much dig this site and really like those involved with it. Keep on doin' what you're doin', and don't let the fuckhats get you or OGHC down for being who you are. To quote the vernacular, "YOU GUYS ROCK."
    - A!

     
  • At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Troels said…

    To the anonymous that posted right before me: There is an RSS feed. If you are using firefox look in the lower right corner, there should be a little lightbulb you can click. Click it, and then click "subscribe to "Old Grandma Hardcore""

    Oh, and I like this blog.

     
  • At 6:38 PM, Anonymous Mike K. said…

    Right on Tim, who gives a shit what other people think, you and your grandma rock hardcore. :)

     
  • At 8:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    First of all, biological evidence is leading scientists to believe that transsexualism IS in fact a BIRTH DEFECT. So don't listen to anyone talking down to you about changing your sex because it's not your fault you were born that way and anyone who has a problem with it must have issues of their own or are just some religious Pat Robertson fundamental bastard who doesn't know any better or something. Your Grandma ROCKS BTW! My grandma died a few years back, but had gotten really interested in professional wrestling. Don't know what she would have done with a game system. :-)

    Signed: A supporter in Ohio.

     
  • At 11:31 PM, Anonymous ViNce said…

    You are a transgendered freak. I went to CWRU, don't think I don't know.

    *George Carlin* "Who.Gives.AFUCK?!"

    oh man, that had me laughing though, almost...almost...as much as the postings on your blog. The idiocy sometimes boggles me mind.

    i'm officially addicted, btw.

     
  • At 1:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey,

    I've been following the site for a while...your grandma is bomb-diggy. But I wanted to post about you. You too are bomb-diggy! From one fellow trans person to another...(I'm a transguy not a transgirl)...rock on you for being true to yourself.

     
  • At 3:30 AM, Anonymous Noctivagus said…

    I just found it so incredibly appropriate that the moron comparing God of War to Devil May Cry didn't seem to realize that there aren't any vampires in DMC...whatsoever. That is all.

    Also, I love this site. I can't play games for shit, but I love this site.

     
  • At 7:59 PM, Anonymous mookers182 said…

    oh how i love the people that compare GOW to DMC... *sigh* there will always be "haters" in the world of video games, but anyway i love this site and you and your grammy are amazing people.

    ps. video 9 will keep me lauging for days. ^_^

     
  • At 10:13 AM, Anonymous Garnetsnake said…

    I've loved this place for a good long time and the more I read, the cooler it becomes. It's also reassuring to know (as I suspected) that there's a highly cool guy(ette?) running the show. A hello to you from across the water in London, a big hello to Grandma (who makes me laugh so much that I may have to invest in some plastic pants) and a WEHEY! to being honest online - aren't there enough people online living happy little lies! OGHC is all about the honesty and all about the fun and tim, dearheart, you are a shining beacon of fun, honesty and kick-ass blogging.
    I fuckin' love it!

     
  • At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Reno said…

    Holy shit Tim, rock on. I'm one of those tranny freaks too. What the fuck does that have to do with your grandma?

    Also: it's a wonderful thing when shitty parents blame video games and TV for their kids being fucked up.

     
  • At 9:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I watched Sean Connery getting his head sliced off in "the highlander" when I was seven or so. I'm absolutely fine. Violence and Sex are perfectly fine when they are handled responsibly.

    Oh, and I enjoy both DMC3 and GOW, they ARE similar, but DMC3 on normal is like GOW on God Mode, so whatever. Don't be too much of a Fanboy about anything, it's dangerous.

    Also, this site/blog/place is hillarious. Thumbs up, Old Grandma Hardcore!

     
  • At 11:49 PM, Anonymous Yukiru said…

    o.o

    So many transvestites here. o.o

    I wonder what that says about us. XP

    Love the site Tim!!!

    You and your grandma keep gaming!!!

     
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