Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


What's going on! Where are we?! What's Grandma doing?!

Well I'll tell you.

Lots of gaming goodness has been going down at our house, I just haven't had time to post anything. My hours have been increased at work. I recieved a promotion and now I'm rarely at home. That will change when schedules settle down, but at the moment, I'm just happy if I can grab a few hours of sleep. We have been getting your postcards and letters for the contest (and you still have plenty of time to get yours in, by the way) and Grandma has been reading everything. I, however, have been busy as hell.

So has Grandma, just in different ways...

Thursday, August 30th
Me - "soooo..... tired......."
Grandma - "These GOD DAMNED LITTLE SISTERS keep stopping for GOD DAMNED Adam and keep getting KILLED. I swear to Christ this is RE4 all over again."

Monday, September 3rd
[Achievement Unlocked - 5pts - Two Fully Upgraded Weapons]

Tuesday, September 4th
Grandma - "Hey! Welcome home! Did you hear that Lair sucks?"
Me - "Well that's..... bad, I guess. I want to go to sleep."
Grandma - "No, it's great. I don't have to waste $60 to find if it's horrible. It's not even a debate, everyone- and I mean EVERYONE fucking hates it. I'm almost relieved."
Me - "Panzer Dragoon Orta was good. You could always play that again."
Grandma - "Yeah, but the S-Controller feels weird now. I'm used to the 360 one. I don't know. I'm thinking Metroid."

Wednesday, September 5th
[Achievement Unlocked - 10pts - Three Fully Upgraded Weapons]
[Achievement Unlocked - 10pts - Four Fully Upgraded Weapons]
[Achievement Unlocked - 10pts - Found Cohen's Room]

Thursday, September 6th
Grandma - "I don't remember this game being this goddamn impossible on Easy Mode. And it's not the Big Daddys either, they're simple enough once you learn how to use the plasmids right. It's those fucking Houdini motherfuckers. They just pop out of nowhere!"
[Achievement Unlocked - 50pts - Maxed All Tracks]
[Achievement Unlocked - 10pts - Five Fully Upgraded Weapons]

Friday, September 7th
Me - "I had the worst day at work today. Sometimes I take pictures of things for the news and I just... You never really feel disconnected like you're supposed to, you know?"
Grandma - ".........Yeup."
[Achievement Unlocked - 100pts - Little Sister Savior]
Grandma - "Ooo! Check out what Evan sent me!"
[Achievement Unlocked - 5pts - Back Attack]
Me - "I want to play Blue Dragon :("
Grandma - "I thought you wanted to play BioShock?"
Me - "Wait, are you done with it?"
Grandma - "Well, I went through it twice, just finished it the second time on a harder difficulty. I don't think I can play it again to harvest all of the sisters this time, they're so damn cute and precious when you save them I don't think I'd have the heart."
Me - "Cool! So I can play BioShock now?"
Grandma - "I don't know, I kind of want the last achievements..."

Grandma is loving BioShock, edging in some Blue Dragon time, and eyeing Metroid Prime 3. Meanwhile, I haven't even touched Lumines II on my PSP (the ol' standby) because I've been so incredibly tired lately. When the new shifts start to take effect, there shall be much gaming.

Hopefully, that will be very soon. So... new post is coming soon!!

Game on!


  • At 10:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    FINALLY A NEW UPDATE. I was getting worried there lol.

    I can see Grandma loves BioShock and has DESTRYOED it.

    I am currently playing Blue Dragon and Metroid Prime 3, both GREAT games. Can't wait to hear Grandmas take on them.

    Take it easy on the work there Timmy.

  • At 11:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Work sucks, especially when it gets in the way of video games. I signed up for summer classes this summer as well as worked, and got no sleep because I played RE:4 for the Wii all night then went to class nearly every day.

    So there's always the no sleep option.

  • At 11:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Haha kind of odd how Lair was so incredibly hyped, yet so incredibly bad, oh well though.

    Blue Dragon is a great fuckin game, I just got it recently too and I couldn't put it down.

    Hopefully sending a goddamn post card soon!

  • At 1:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    YES Grandma! Definately get a hold of Metroid 3. That's the game I'm into right now. I must say it was a slightly higher learning curve for the controls than I expected, but now that I've gotten used to it I'm flyin through the game.

    Everyone online seems to be praising Metroid. It's at least as good as Super Paper Mario or Twilight Princess. Can't wait to read YOUR review of it. Hope Tim can make a video of you playing it!!

    Game on Grandma!


  • At 6:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I've just finished Bioshock for the first time about 4 or 5 days ago, with 44 of 50 possible achievements. Not bad for being me! ;) I totally agree with Grandma about the little sisters. I was planning on playing it through again on a harder difficulty and harvest them this time around, but they really are so adorable, you just can't do it. And seeing the good ending makes it even harder. I will eventually play it again though, I need to see the other ending...but I won't feel good about it. :P
    By the way, are there only 2 different endings?

    GAME ON!

  • At 9:05 AM, Blogger Gamer Named Tim said…

    Finally! Two weeks for an update? I almost shriveled up and died. Well, try to take it easy at work, and keep us updated!

    Also, it's interesting to hear that the moral choices in BioShock work on Granny!

  • At 10:48 AM, Blogger Dana said…

    I am actually VERY interested in hearing what Grandma has to say about Blue Dragon...she would definitely influence my purchase of the game. Glad to see am update <3


  • At 1:42 PM, Blogger Jamie said…

    I still havnt managed to get bioshock due to problems at home but I should get it soon it looks amazing also am very interested about what grandma has to say about blue dragon (my friend has it but her xbox 360 broke) take care and GAME ON!


  • At 6:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Glad you like Bioshock a lot. I'm also glad that you think Lair suxs because frankly just by looking at it I thought it sucked. I'm thinking buying Skate or Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter two for my PS3, what do you think of them?

  • At 7:08 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    I heard there were 3 endings to BioShock. One for saving all the sisters, one for harvesting all the sisters, and one for avoiding all the sisters! But I could be wrong, I just got that info from the GamerchiX posts. I finally played BioShock again after stopping before leaving for PAX. Goddamn those houdini splicers! I'm gonna finish this comment and get back to it!

    Stop eying Metroid Prime 3 and buy it!

    I sent a Child's Play postcard from PAX, hoping y'all got it. And please keep updating, we miss you grandma and Tim!

  • At 9:11 PM, Blogger Richard MacDonald said…

    I have a stack of Metroid Prime 3's Friend Tickets just waiting for Grandma.

  • At 9:24 PM, Blogger Valke said…

    wow its about time! But I completely understand the whole too much work/no sleep thing. Happens when you get old. Glad to hear that Grandma is enjoying Bioshock so much. I heard Blue Dragon wasn't all that great, nothing more than a mediocre RPG at best.

  • At 3:40 AM, Blogger Lori said…

    Thank goodness an update! Glad to hear grams is diggin' Bioshock, I am as well. Like grams I don't have the heart to harvest either but would like to see the alternative ending, it's a dilemma. I am currently hooked on Oblivion Elder Scrolls IV for the 360 and wondering if Grandma picked up the game again after the chicken roaster incident. Tim, you hang in there at work schedule changes. Nothin sucks ass worse than life getting in the way, is there?

    must get back to my happy place need to cure myself of vampirism, asap!

    Columbus Ohio

  • At 5:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Once again, we wait OVER A WEEK for a new Update. Im sorry to be rude but i like to know what Grandma is doing and i like every other day updates. C'mon Tim u promised a soon update.

    This is BS.

  • At 10:37 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    ... the dude WORKS for a living, and sometimes work is shit. Grow up and get a job.

    That being said, I wish I had Bioshock. It looks like so much fun. I'm still trying to save money for computer bits.

  • At 7:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dude, if work is to much for him then he shouldnt have a site in the first place. either take care of it or dont have one at all.

  • At 10:53 PM, Blogger MrTheBoss502 said…

    Granny! Ive been a fan of your site for years but never posted. You are the most rocking granny ever. Be my honorary granny please lol.

  • At 8:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just because he has a site doesn't mean he has to please you. Go find something else to do while you wait for an update.

  • At 4:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "This is BS."

    There are millions upon millions of blogs in the big Wide Webbernet. Go find another one while these nice people take care of Grandma's very real health problems and do their jobs.

    Who'd have thought a regular reader could be such a selfish pompous ass?

  • At 12:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Your blog informations is a very useful.

  • At 4:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Perform is painful,Cheapest wow gold particularly if the idea becomes in the form of games. We opted in for summer courses come early july in addition to labored, and also got absolutely no snooze since My spouse and i played RE:4 for your Nintendo wii through the night and then attended schoolBuy rs gold virtually every evening.

  • At 5:04 AM, Blogger workboy53 said…

    The sun’s ultraviolet rays are most damaging between 10am and 2pm. Even under overcast skies, we should protect our eyes, as the rays of the sun do pass through clouds. And when under a shade, we should still wear sunglasses, because UV rays are reflected by sand and water.

    marketing sunglasses
    Crystal Custom
    Promotional Sunglasses
    Story Miami


Post a Comment

<< Home