Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

And.... she's back!

Sweet mother of god I need to update. Grandma has been back from the hospital for awhile but she has frequent, scheduled trips to physical therapy to deal with now. The whole situation has been less than pleasant. Meanwhile, the 'mini E3' anti-hype coming from the games industry has put her in a somewhat healthy funk; allowing her to once again be her old visceral self. She wants to play and review some games. Actually, she wants to play and review some GREAT games, but the well is dry at the moment it seems, so she'll settle on yelling at any available shitty port she can get her hands on.

So! Let's see... She finished Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters. She STILL has to review that fucker. Now that we're back, that shouldn't be difficult. She and I have been playing Earth Defense Force 2017, another gift from Vic Ireland (Thanks Vic!) and we're trying desperately to complete the last stages of the "Hardest" difficulty on co-op while simultaneously building up health by farming some of the more populated levels for Armor so we can take on Inferno mode later.

She wants those fucking achievement points.

She FINALLY received the last achievement for Texas Hold 'Em Poker on XBLA even though she had drawn a Royal Flush a few times over the months, and she's close to getting the last achievement for Catan.

She played, and then gave up on Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree saying it just "wasn't the same" as her little DS favorite.

I bought her Odin Sphere because she was curious as hell and bored out of her mind. She just started the thing last night.

I'm thinking of pulling Guitar Hero II for the 360 back out so we can get all the achievement points we can and practice for GHIII and Rock Band so she's not so self-conscious about her rhythm game abilities when the time comes.

First of all, thank you guys so much for all the e-mails wondering if Grandma was still alive ;) She especially loved reading those comments and e-mails so she had an excuse to slap me upside the head and yell "POST SOMETHING, DAMMIT!" Truth is, that was my fault. Like Grandma, I too fell into a little funk for the past month when it came to gaming. She wasn't saying much about the demos and trailers coming out of Mini-E3, so everything I wrote felt repetitive and lame. I mean, when you look at our front page, one of the entries at the bottom is about Grandia III and another is about that crazy upcoming DS game called "Brain Age". That's goddamn pathetic. I'm not posting near enough to do Grandma justice.

No more of that shit. Our new posting schedule is Sunday-Wednesday-Friday, every week.

Grandma is back.

Game on.


  • At 7:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Glad to see you're back! And Grandma shouldn't be that worried about her rhythm game abilities, because she can't suck as bad as Peter Moore.

  • At 8:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Glad grandma's back, and also glad you bought her Odin Sphere. Hope she enjoys it, and I am sure she will swear like nothing before at certain parts. There are so many great games I am waiting for, BioShock, GTA IV, Halo 3, Eternal Sonata, Lost Odyssey, Blue Dragon (have grandma play the demo of Blue Dragon you can download on Marketplace), Metroid Prime 3, and Super Mario Galaxy ships on November 12. I just finished Call of Juarez on the 360, and am planning on buying Persona 3. I suck at rhythm games, too.

  • At 9:09 PM, Blogger Gamer Named Tim said…

    Well, Tim you've succeeded in making my day! I'm glad to know that Grandma is fine, and that she's gaming again! However, nothing excites me more than your new posting schedule! Keep up the good work!

  • At 9:48 PM, Blogger * said…

    I am glad Grandma is ok.I was worried. I only just stumbled upon this page about 2 months ago, and I had pretty much given up gaming because I have 2 kids an devote most of my time to them. But since hearing about Grandma I decided it's ok 2 take time 4 me to and get back into gaming.

    Thanks GHC,Nicole

  • At 1:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    YES! So very happy to see this post. I is filled with glee. ::grin:: Looking forward to more goodness - take care, be well, and GAME ON!


  • At 1:29 AM, Blogger Richard MacDonald said…

    Good to hear everything's alright. I think Odin Sphere will keep you busy for a while. Unfortunately, there's not much else out there.

    Now I shamelessly self-promote! If the desperation for anything new becomes overwhelming, there's a little game I and some other guys made called SkyBear that might help alleviate some of the boredom.

    It's really rough around the edges. Some stuff is just plain broken and it only takes about five minutes to finish, but I think it's still pretty fun. Not great, but alright.

    It was made in about four and a half months, during the last half of the last year of the college course I was taking. Considering the ridiculous amount of school work I and the rest of the team had heaped up on top of this, I think it turned out pretty decently.

    It can be found here. The last paragraph on that page is pretty important, so if you do decide to try it out you should read that.

  • At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    YAY everythings alright, ive been checking to see if there is an update almost daily for the last week and i was wondering if something was up or maybe grandma just didnt have anything to play haha. If she is looking for something to play, has she tryed Tomb raider anniversary or maybe 'shadow of the colossus' its a couple of years old now but awesome. Chances are she has and ive just missed the post but all i can say is GAME ON!!!!

  • At 11:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    :) I'm so glad to hear that Grandma is alright. This is my first time posting, although I've been checking this site pretty much everyday since I found it. XD I've never posted because I'm scared that Grandma will think that my question is retarded.

    What I wanted to know is whether or not Grandma has ever found herself attracted to a video game character. There's plenty of good-looking characters out there, are any of them Grandma's type? Better yet, if any of them were real, could any of them handle Grandma?

    Thanks much!

  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Crazy Raven Productions said…

    Woo! Glad all is (relatively) well at the Grandma household.

  • At 8:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    So glad y'all are back! Does Grandma have any opinion on the upcoming Fable 2 and Beautiful Katamari? I hope therapy goes well!

  • At 12:00 AM, Blogger Bar Sinister Prime. said…

    I must say that I was WHOLE heartedly rolling my eyes as I clicked on my bookmarks waiting to read "Don't panic;" before the picture of Grandma loaded... I'm so relieved that you guys are back!

    And she's okay!

    If this ever happens again, I promise you that I'll cry. And I may not ever forgive you, Tim.

    Of course, me and Grandma will forever remain tight in my eyes.

    Good luck with the therapy!

  • At 12:28 AM, Blogger BugnLVoe said…

    yeahhhhhhhhh Im glad grandma is back! :-)

    Tell grandma to turn the sound off the tv when she plays guitar hero 2, it will help her. Then all she is doing is concentrating on the colors. When she masters that, crank the volume. :-)

    Of course I still cant do level hard. lol

    I give up. It's just for fun, so I stay with the lower levels.


  • At 2:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    I'm so glad that Grandma's back home and gaming like her old self. I can't wait to hear her opinion on Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters and on just about everything else!

  • At 4:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sweet Jesus! I'm glad you finally updated, I think we were all worrying a bit. Can't wait for some new videos and reviews! =]

  • At 10:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thanks for the kind words everybody!

    Annie, Jen, everybody- you know I love you guys. It's Tim's fault there wasn't a post for awhile, but I hit him.

    Richard, Tim's downloading your game tonight so I hope I'll get to play it tomorrow.


  • At 7:09 AM, Blogger LadyValkyrie said…

    OMFG, we were so worried! WHAT WERE YOU THINKIN LOL... u saw whats happening here! UHHHHH ur dead dude ;] ;) lol Im happy everything is ok, game on >.>

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