Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

News Article Prints Lies; Grandma Outraged

Alright, that title wasn't true at all. The article was great. MTV was very kind to Grandma. It focused on Grandma and of course Doris Self, The Q*Bert Queen. It was a fairly long piece, and offered a good chance to expand on some points a few of readers of OGHC had wanted to see ...expanded.

  1. Q. Grandma's Name: "0H K00L!!1! She iz teh realz! Barbara St. Hilaire is teh roxxor pwnage!!" A. Yes, her name was printed in the article, something we hesitated to do on the site; but there it is for your reading enjoyment and unpronouncability.
  2. Q. "Rocket Launcher with Unlimited Ammo? That was easy!! You guys suck!" A. By the time Grandma was done with Resident Evil 4; she had in her inventory the Chicago Typewriter; the Infinite Launcher; and a fully upgraded Handcannon.
  3. Q. "You played Luigi to her Mario? HA! You suck, Tim!" A. Yes.
  4. Q. "The ESA's figures in the article say your Grandma isn't alone in the elderly gaming market. You suck." A. Oh I know she isn't the only elderly gamer out there, in fact I am sure there are plenty of elderly gamers who rock just as hard as Grandma. This Grandma happens to be my favorite for obvious reasons.
  5. Q. "Doris Self has won records and is in the books; your Grandma hasn't beaten any records as far as I know. You suck." A. Doris Self is awesome. Not much else I can say there.
  6. Q. "The article says Grandma has Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Gaming obviously did this, so she should stop gaming and go back to the flea market where she belongs. You suck." A. Grandma does have carpal tunnel syndrome but a few readers have suggested stretches and exercizes she can do to keep healthy. She's not going to stop gaming any time soon.
  7. Q. "The Article says Grandma wants an XBox 360; a PS3; and a trip to L.A. for E3. You are whoring your Grandma out for free shit. You suck." A. Grandma is a gamer. Gamers are looking forward to those systems (they left out she also wants a Nintendo Revolution) and she's going to get them; although she's probably not going to get them for free. I'm still not taking ad money or pay-pal or anything on this site, as has been stated in previous posts. This blog started out as a fun thing among friends, it just sort of exploded into this. Now if we can get the attention of the companies showcasing within E3, however, they might sponsor her to go; and that would be the greatest thing ever for her. If I got to tag along, cool! But this is about Grandma and giving the old girl the recognition she deserves for playing hard for 30 years. I repeat- if SHE gets to go to E3 next year, it would be the greatest thing ever for HER. Grandma knows how to rock a controller; she just wants to be among her peers.
--Thanks for the e-mails everyone! Keep them coming! Updates are on the way, including more videos!!--


  • At 1:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You're a better writer.

  • At 2:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Re: Question 7

    Yeah, I noticed that just about every news media outlet these days leaves the Revolution out in the lurch. Not to be a fanboy (well, too much of one) but couldn't they at least acknowledge that there's a big three instead of a big two?

  • At 3:39 PM, Blogger Brinstar said…

    I hope someone gets your grandma to E3. I think her opinions/impressions would be fun to read, and she might get a kick out of it. People hardly ever hear of the opinions of older hardcore gamers, so I am glad that you're blogging about her experiences. I daresay that a good many of us will end up like her, playing well past retirement.

  • At 3:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I still have a question, it may make grandma angry but hey, I take the risk because I just want to know what you think:

    Did you ever asked yourself if she really loves to play games or if she only does it to have your attention. I know it's a bit mean and old fashion to ask but it's what I would ask myself if I were you.

    Anyway, she rocks, I would really like to have a grandma like yours.

    PS: sorry for my crappy English, it's not my "mother-thongue".

  • At 3:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yes, Grandma should get to E3 next year. I'll contact GameSpy and let them know about this, I have a site affiliated with them. They always gave me free tickets when I wanted them. If she could write an article for them, that would be awesome.

  • At 3:52 PM, Blogger sixtythrough said…

    We really need to start an internet campaign to get her to E3, that being a personal dream of mine, also, I swear I would give my ticket to her if I was obtained one somehow. The site is completely awesome, you're a fantastic writer, too. I have a couple of "connections", I'll honestly see what I can do concerning E3.

  • At 3:54 PM, Blogger Stephanie said…

    I think Grandma should get to go to E3 and I think Tim should get to go too! Grandma rocks, of course, but Tim, you have a great way of presenting her. You deserve some of the credit and a trip to E3 as well.

    And yes, Tim is a better writer. What did you major in?

  • At 7:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Both should go to E3! Damn, if I worked in the PR of a gaming company I'll flood them with free games and systems.

  • At 9:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I know she plays a lot of RPGs but I was wondering what she thinks of Kingdom Hearts. Also, is she really excited about the coming Advent Children? Thanks!

  • At 9:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi, just to let you know that people from Brazil here just love you grandma too!

    Keep it going on! Next E3 I wanna see her there!

  • At 11:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Believe it or not I come here at the least 13 times a day looking for more updates. Can't get enough of ya Grandma. This is better than reading a gaming mag! And you can qoute me on that lol.

  • At 1:59 AM, Blogger fnm said…

    1. we need an internet campaing to get grandma to E3 (i've started calling her grandma now like she's really my own grandma)

    2. You are in fact a better writer.

    3. Don't pay any attention to people saying u're whoring this out to score something or other. That's BS.

    4. You should really consider putting paypal link or something. No one would think less of you or grandma, but rather, people would donate little sums of money just for the entertainment you guys provide.

    Just my 2 cents worth. Keep on keepin on!

  • At 2:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It would be fricking awesome if your grandma was a host for Gamespot Live and their E3 coverage for 2006! :D

    Or at least a guest. :)

  • At 3:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    1- Your grandma rocks my shocks, and everyone's elses

    2- People are really stupid if they think that you are whoring her in order to get free videogaming goodies. E3 and the Tokyo Game Show are the dream of any gamer, and I bet that she is no exception.

    3- That shows that videogaming journalism is a bunch of crap. The questions, the way the left out her comments about the Revolution, everything. Gosh I am sick of it.

    4- Your grandma should be the center of the Nintendo revolution's campaign. Seriously, If I would be their marketing chiefs, I would contact her. She's funny, more hardcore gamer than myself and not kiddy ;-) I think that she represents the Nintendo's spirit perfectly.

  • At 7:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    1st off: If you did have paypal or any kind of donation system, I would make a point of regularily donating.

    2nd: Grandma has to be some kind of internet celebrity by now, just wait for the invitation to E3 from officiators.

    3rd: You have got to be the luckiest guy I've seen

  • At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    get the paypal link dude...its not beggin or whatever people say, hell no!

    shit yeah i would donate!

    come on people, lets grandma these consol's...and games!


    oghc roxxor

  • At 10:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dude! Your grandma r0xx0rz! If only either of mine were that cool...

    OK, a couple of straying thoughts...
    1: your gran definitely deserves to go to E3, you with her to chronicle her escapades. That would be fucking wicked.

    2: has she played Riddick yet? (The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay). If not, reccomend it to her (from a fellow hardcore gamer hailing from Melbourne, AU), and see if she can beat the record set by me and 2 friends -- clocked in 4 hours of gameplay or so (overnight in real-time, but you must have a break every so often). Cheers!


  • At 5:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Since when did sucking become a bad thing?

    /just wondering

  • At 9:15 PM, Blogger phosp0 said…

    If no-one is taking Grandma to E3 next year I will!!

  • At 12:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I have a friend that works for LA security; he gets us into E3 for free. Your grandma (and you!) are so amazing, I'd bet he'd be willing to add you to the guest list! :D

  • At 5:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dude. If I can (i.e. my company will let me), and you guys don't already have invites (I'm sure you will) I WILL get you guys into the E3. Seriously.

    As for the next-gen systems... um... crap. I'm trying to figure out how I can finagle those for myself before I guarantee anyone else one. Le sigh.

    But consider E3 a guarantee, if I can make it happen!


  • At 5:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    AND you are a much better writer. I'd love to meet you both - when I'm 70, I want to be as hardcore of a gamer as your grandma is. VIVA LA OGHC!


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