Grandma's Secret Stash: Part I
Earlier I posted about Grandma's load of strategy guides, and it's about time to go through them. A reminder; she only used strategy guides when she got stuck, when those couple of percentage points she had yet to reach beckened her to open pandora's box.
These bring back the memories, though. Every time the store clerk would ask "...and you want the strategy guide to go with it, right?" She would look down at her feet like she was about to betray a friend and mumble "....yeah, what the hell... fuck."
So let us begin....
Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain
Prima Publishing / Ian Osborne
Oh hell yeah. Grandma has played the entire series right from its early days; and this one ended up right in the middle, continuing all the way to Soul Reaver 2.
Most Grandma moment: "Suck his BLOOD!! Suck his BLOOOOD!!! [turns to me] I LOVE THIS!!"
Dark Cloud 2
Prima Publishing / Gerald Guess
Grandma bought this game based on her love of the first Dark Cloud, and she wasn't disappointed. I remember it took her awhile to finish, but the longer games are her favorite anyway.
Most Grandma moment: [me] "You still playing that?"
[me] "....so, what are you doing?"
[me] ".....what's that?"
[Grandma] "...shut up...I'm playing this..."
Devil May Cry
Versus Books / Casey Loe
After Grandma put the smack down on the Giant Magma Spider (took her awhile at first), she made this game her bitch. She got every secret mission, she enjoyed the boss fights, she got really into it. She played this a lot, and went out and bought the next one as soon as it came out despite the reviews, and she loved it.
Most Grandma moment: "You stupid fucking CAT! Fucking DIE!!!" [and so it did]
Brady Publishing / David Cassady
Grandma bought Silent Hill on the PSX way back when because she loved Resident Evil, she loved horror games, and god dammit this was a horror game.
Most Grandma moment: "Why are there always.... FUCKING DOGS?! [Grandma has died] ....GOD DAMN!!"
Silent Hill 2
Brady Publishing / Dan Birlew
Despite her frustration with our canine zombie brothers, she knew she couldn't go wrong with this one. It was SILENT HILL! Only this time, it was on that new-fangled Playstation 2 everyone was talking about...
Most Grandma moment: [upon seeing mannequin beast for the first time] "HA!! Look at that thing!! Those Legs are attacking me!! That's cool!"
Prima Playstation Game Secrets #3
Prima Publishing / Nick Roberts / Simon Hill / Ian Osborne
Grandma bought this book because she likes a bargain, and at the time, we had pretty much every game listed on the cover. Yes, Grandma played Die Hard Trilogy, Crash Bandicoot, Mortal Kombat, Wipeout XL.....
Most Grandma moment: "The Mortal Kombat movie sucked."
[me as a little boy] "but... but Scorpion!"
[Grandma] "They just copied his fatality, it wasn't even how I pictured it..."
Brady Games / David Cassady
When Grandma bought this game, she worshipped (as she still does) the very ground on which Squaresoft was birthed. Very naturally she adored this game, and tried to explain the intricacies of Mitochondria to me once. When she saw the Japanese movie of the same name, she sorrowfully muttered "It's just not the same without the Chrysler Building..."
Most Grandma moment: [me] "What are you doing?"
[Grandma] "Leveling up. I want to beat this guy..."
[me five hours later] "What are you doing?"
[Grandma] "Leveling up...."
Gex: Enter The Gecko
Dimension Publishing / David Jon Winding
Grandma got a kick out of this game. She laughed at all the jokes, she ate all the bugs, she got the innuendo. here's an excerpt from the guide: "Gex [...] is the best video game I have played and believe me, I've played them all..." Not bad for 1998.
Most Grandma moment: "I'm a STORM TROOPER!! That's great! ...HA!! I'm on fire!! BURN ASSHOLE!!!"
Resident Evil 4
Brady Games / Dan Birlew
Christ. What can be said about this. This brought her GameCube back to life after Zelda.
Anything else that could possibly said is said here.
--More to come!!--
--News: Grandma got a link from Austrian Radio Station FM4!! I streamed the audio and dude: Austria knows how to rock. They don't censor a god damn thing Trent Reznor says. Keep rocking Austria!