Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Video 25: Grandma plays Dead Space

A couple things about this one: first, it's dark. This is how Grandma insists on playing it (she was the same way about the Fatal Frame series). Second: I noticed she's sporting the Left 4 Dead 2 shirt she scored from PAX :)

Try as I might to get her to use the saw in a more, say.. practical manner, she gets by just shooting the holy hell out of everything until she has nothing left in her inventory. So, her equipment upgrades are a bit lacking. She just got the Level 4 suit at the end of chapter 9 (that's where she is in the video).

But it's not like I can talk. I can't help her in Dead Space. I'm really quite horrible myself.

Thank you again to Ian for the incredible game. Grandma's very near the end of the story on Normal mode, and, per your suggestion, she's going to take a crack at a greater difficulty.

With the lights on, maybe.

Game on!

Read the rest of this post...

Sunday, November 01, 2009

EA's Ian Milham gives Grandma the gift of awesomeness

In yet another puzzling roadblock for Grandma's quest to answer "Who the fuck am I?", Ian Milham, art director of Dead Space, sent Grandma a very special Halloween present.

And the fantastic depiction of Grandma wielding a 211-V Plasma Cutter was only the beginning.

Ian assures Grandma that her apparent love of survival horror games is not at all complete without the addition of Dead Space. Sure, she loved Resident Evil. Sure, she loved Fear. Sure, she nearly swerved off the road when I told her the new iteration of Fatal Frame wasn't coming stateside. But the man worked hard on Dead Space. He worked hard specifically for people who love getting the shit scared out of them as they waltz their controller down another corridor painted with flickering light. People like Grandma. Who are we to deny Grandma the pleasure of surround-sound induced nightmares? Who are we, he would surely argue, to prevent her from seeing mangled and terrifying hell-creatures ripping her game-manifest body to pieces?


And who can argue with that, really.

So Ian sent Grandma the above drawing.

And also this:

Grandma was honored, thrilled, and honestly a little perplexed.

But what made her the most excited..

She's already on chapter 3 :)

Ian, thank you. That was fantastic. Grandma insists on playing it in the dark with the volume cranked up.

Grandma: "Tell him.. I don't know, ..tell him it's harder to be scared when I know these things were made by a big sweetheart. Or is that too corny? Shit, I don't know what to say. Tell him THANK YOU! And ask him where I get the saw thingy!"

Game on.

Read the rest of this post...