Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Grandma is seriously pissed off today

Right, so...

This kind of post doesn't happen very often.

Grandma has her regular bookmarks on her Firefox toolbar that she clicks through every day for some gaming goodness. Destructoid, Kotaku, Joystiq, Crispy Gamer, The Escapist, etc.,.. She takes the dog out, makes a cup of coffee, sits down at her computer, checks her email and thus begins her routine a couple times a day.

Well, today she read this article on Kotaku.

Immediately afterword, she sought me out, showed me the article (and perhaps more importantly the comments section) and said the following:

"We're posting tonight. I got some shit to say."

The Kotaku article is a brief post on the Today Show disaster piece featuring The Big Fish Babes. Brian Crecente captions the segment with an appropriate eye-rolling sarcastic "Have you heard? Video games aren't just for 13-year-old boys anymore!"

As for the Today Show piece, Grandma's sentiments are pretty much the same.

Grandma has battle-hardened experience being schlepped around for various puff pieces on various news networks, an experience that was all in all harmless and thankfully not nearly as condescending or patronizing as what these ladies had to endure.

Grandma found her own answers as repetitive as the questions. Endless variations to "when did you start gaming?", "what do you friends think of your hobby?", or "what's your favorite game?" were met with near identical "at arcade machines in bowling alleys", "my friends don't understand it, really", and "Final Fantasy VII" respectively. Which was fine! What else are they going to ask?

But Grandma always, always, always included a massive caveat to all the attention gifted upon her:

She is not unique.
She is not the best older gamer.
She is not the oldest gamer.
There are many, many people just like her.
And that's what's awesome.

So when CBS Evening News or NPR or MTV called to ask some questions, she was genuinely bewildered. She would ask me, sincerely, why she was at all newsworthy.

"Because you're awesome" is a cute and easy answer, but it wasn't enough and she knew it. She isn't stupid. So she repeated her caveat to all who would listen.

We thought, naively perhaps, that what was newsworthy was the obsolescence of The Gamer Demographic; not by Grandma, but by the thousands of gamers who obstinately stand outside the marketing targets which were so carefully perpetuated.

And Grandma wasn't the first. Doris Self was a far better gamer. Middle-aged men played Counterstrike in offices. Colleges had Quake tournaments. And then there was the rest of us, who started with Atari and Nintendo when we were kids and never stopped as we got older.

The myth had been dead for awhile.

So the story of The Big Fish Babes is a happy one, an inevitable one. And not at all as unusual and weird as the Today producers decided to make it. They were portrayed as a Hugh Wilson montage of Old Women Find Friendship. They deserved better than that.

But while it peeved Grandma to see clueless reporters repeating the stupid myth with these kind, cool women as a backdrop, and oh boy was she peeved ("Thirteen year olds? Seriously?"), it wasn't what pissed her off.

"There's all these people pissed off at Kotaku because they think they're making fun of these women, and they don't get it. They think he's saying "look at these fat assholes trying to say they're gamers" and that's not what the fuck he's talking about.

And THEN you have people who ARE basically saying these people are ugly and stupid, in agreement with something nobody said in the first place!

First of all: who gives a shit if they only play casual games. I think that counts. I play Sudoku too, assholes. Why is it that these people think I'm cool but these women are stupid? It's the same shit. They like that game, I like different games- they're still games. You want them to play Call of Duty? Show them how to do it. Maybe they'll like it, maybe they won't. What's the difference. If somebody came up to me and said "Oh, I play this puzzle game thing online" I'd tell them "oh hey! I'm a gamer too! That's cool!" Maybe we'd be friends! How else would you know? They don't see themselves as gamers because of people like you who won't let them.

But what kills me are these people laughing at the way they look. I'm old and fat too, but nobody gave me shit about it. Sometimes somebody on Youtube calls me an old bitch, but pretty much everybody else has been so cool. You know? Don't ruin that by laughing at these women. NBC made the story corny, not them. They're just like any of us.

Kotaku wasn't making fun of them. YOU were.

Then Grandma showed me this video, posted in the comments section by someone who I'm pretty sure has opinions that mirror Grandma's:

"The worst part is, there is nothing I can even say to counter these people. They have their minds made up. They think video games are for kids. And if video games are only for kids, then they should be made for kids. And if video games are made for kids, they shouldn't have any violence or vulgarity. So, if video games contain violence or vulgarity, they're bad. Because of kids.

They just want to hear themselves talk.

This makes me so goddamn angry, you don't even know.

This guy is right there next to her SAYING that adults play these games. But she doesn't listen. She doesn't care. "Oh, the kids are going to play them anyway..." How can someone... I don't know.. so confidently have an opinion about something they admit to knowing so little about?

She had no idea that games have a ratings system. But she goes RIGHT ON TALKING as though it were meaningless.

It's like Monty Python. "Yes they do", "no they don't", "yes they did", "no they don't.." It's fucking annoying.

I would never want to be on a panel like that. There is nothing you can say. They aren't listening. All you can do is ask questions and let them dig themselves into a hole. They like to talk, right? Let them talk.

Ask them this: "Do you think video games are for children? How have you come to that conclusion?"
Ask them how old THEY think the average gamer is. Don't bring up this study or that study, just ask them. Watch them pretend like they know what they're talking about.
Ask them what the last game they played was.
Ask them if they liked it.
Ask them what would have made the game better, for THEM. Not for their kids. What would THEY like. Talk to THEM like they are gamers. Force them to.. you know, see themselves that way.

Then all of a sudden they turn from black and white to color like in Pleasantville, everybody skips away and talks about more important shit.


Grandma doesn't tell me to publish her rants on the blog very often, so I figured I'd better do it or she'd hit me :)

Game on!


  • At 9:08 PM, Blogger Salaryn's Sword said…

    Right on the money Grandma.

    I thought the Big Fish Babes were a great group of women. I wouldn't expect them to be reported as anything but a curiosity by some plastic talking head.

  • At 5:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    having watched the footage, I'd say it's a group of women who have found each other while playing a casual game. would it be different if they had met at a knitting club? I don't think so. And I'm also never making fun of people's hobbies. so these women like to play bigfish games? fine :-) if they enjoy it, I'm all for that.

  • At 5:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    me again :-) as for grandma's comments to that second piece, I've practically given up. I'm 36, female, I like videogames (not the casual type), it's my favourite hobby.

    all those people who have no clue about games but their silly minds made up and like to hear themselves talking (right on spot, grandma :-) - I just ignore them nowadays. like you said, you just can't argue with them. they simply don't know what it is like to be a real gamer.

    I'm sick of wasting time trying to get my point across to people like this. I've got better things to do - like playing God of War 3, Battlefield Bad Company 2 or any other game I choose.

  • At 8:27 AM, Anonymous gih said…

    hhaha.. well that's cool still. :-) grandma still rockz!

  • At 8:31 AM, Blogger Phantom552 said…

    Hell, I was a little pissed when I saw that video, and I'm not even a female gamer, but I do have friends that are female gamers -- and they seem to regularly be able to hand my ass to me at any game of my choosing, including what most would consider largely male-populated games, such as Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 -- female gamers go waaay beyond the casual nature of Big Fish Games and the like.

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  • At 8:36 AM, Blogger Phantom552 said…

    Edit: Not saying casual games are bad, I play them from time to time, and they do get a special place on my hard drive, but the media treats gamers, especially female gamers as more of a spectacle or an oddity than a reality. Even some parts of the larger gaming culture seem to think that 'female gamer' is just a phrase for 'girl who plays games on facebook, or Big Fish, or the like.

  • At 10:32 AM, Blogger Lynn said…

    Game on Grandma. A gamer is a gamer.

  • At 5:08 AM, Anonymous denparser said…

    Gamer is for youngsters. But grandma is rock!

  • At 10:25 AM, Anonymous Altered Formula said…

    As per usual, Grandma gets it right again. Goddamn Im going to buy her a crown and make her our queen!! and even though she may not be the oldest gamer, she may not even be the best older gamer, she is by far the most poular to Joe public, and we listen because she actually knows what she is on about, nevermind her age. Game On.

  • At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    *applauds Grandma*
    The first time that lady in the video started talking, and everyone cheered for her, I was like "Don't cheer for that bitch!" lol

    Game On!

  • At 3:39 PM, Anonymous gridsleep said…

    Grandma for President.

    You'll never stop the self righteous hypocrites from twisting your words to make a trap for fools (with a nod to Kipling.) Suntzu said you should never attack to save a defeat. Grandma is perfectly correct, that the correct course is not to answer them from their totally wrong premise, but to attack their premise and show them how wrong it is. It's just a shame that the deck (the studio and audience) are loaded, and the time is always cut short. It's not worth watching TV any more. That's why the smart people put their TVs to use in better ways. Like playing video games.

  • At 12:54 PM, Blogger Shrew said…

    Right on the money again, Grandma. These people don't want to hear that video games have the same type of rating system as movies do. They want to blame the video game industry for the fact that a lot of kids are playing games they shouldn't be, because otherwise they'll be forced to blame bad parenting - and we can't have that, can we?

    You don't let your kids watch violent movies, don't let them play violent games either - it's as simple as that. Do your job as a parent and stop trying to blame the video game industry for your failings as a parent.

    I feel bad for the guy in the last video, he's doing his best to open their eyes to the fact that these games are not for kids, but they are refusing to hear it. Sad.

  • At 10:40 PM, Anonymous SunlightRider said…

    Hello Grandma and " " (I don't know you're name, I'm sorry, I will look for it later).

    About the show, i just watched it till they crowd made a round applause for that blonde woman,sorry I couldn't finish watching it, i just knew what kind of show it was; and yes grandma i couldn't have got it better, "They like to hear themselves talk".

    About women gaming, i have to say that people classify certain things without even knowing about them, it could make them feel superior if the classified it at what they think is a lower level than they are. then thy do feel superior. I G2G sorry, See you next time

  • At 4:21 AM, Blogger Dan said…

    Grandma's exactly right these people aren't worth listening.

    Just as happened with film, comics, television - video games are going to be the scape goat until I'm grandma's age and everyone is a gamer.

    One of the greatest things in the past 10 years has been how broad that category of gamer has become. Hardcore games, casual games, online games basically everyone I know plays SOME sort of game whether it's Call of Duty or Farmville.

    I've watched gaming grow from the Atari 2600 in the late 70s to where it is now. I can't possibly see any valid argument for why interactive entertainment is worse than television. At least you are engaging your mind to make decisions, to solve puzzles and figure out how things work versus just watching passively.

    Gaming is also the only social experience I've engaged in where I've seen teams of people from teenagers to senior citizens enjoying themselves together without any consideration as to that disparity in age.

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  • At 1:52 AM, Anonymous Hog Hunting Texas said…

    Its not good at all you should care of that.

  • At 10:00 PM, Anonymous dodz said…

    just consider that, we know that grandma is to old to think were she could pissed off. he he he

  • At 10:48 PM, Blogger Wolf7770 said…

    Grandma you rock! Sorry had to get that in. Idiots who think they know something, only think they know it. Those people just picked up the gamebox that morning, and read the back. They've never played a game in their lives. I started in arcades too. Back in the 80's they said we gamers were so addicted to gaming that we stole money from moms' purse to play Pac-Man. I never did, my parents gave me the money. LOL Now games that have violence, are supposedly causing kids to act violently. Just like they used to say television violence caused kids to behave violently. What a crock of crap. Those kids just need their butts whipped by mom, and dad more often, but only when they need it. My kids play games that I buy for them, some are violent, some aren't, but I have taught them that the world doesn't work the way it does in games, movies, or T.V.. The stupid thing is that those people on talk shows only believe that kids play games, not adults. Boy could I show them a thing or two. But parents should watch how their kids interact with the real world, and correct them if they do something wrong. And, Grandma, if gaming is your passion, keep it going, it keeps your mind fresh.

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  • At 7:08 PM, Blogger MidNiteGamer said…

    Hell yaa ! The koolest Gmaw ever.
    This is my first time reading this blog.It is great for sure the shit!
    Im hooked on grandma !!!!!!

  • At 10:35 AM, Anonymous dodz said…

    i though i saw grandma making hardcore.

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    I wish I had a grandma this cool. I got ur back grandma!

  • At 11:19 PM, Blogger an said…


    Nice post and very informative. thanks for the great sharing.


  • At 12:02 PM, Blogger NightMary said…

    I... I agree that they way they handled the Big Fish Babes was patronizing, to say the VERY least. I hope people don't treat me like that when I'm eighty

  • At 3:58 PM, Anonymous den parser said…

    Are you ready for another game later grandma?

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  • At 12:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

  • At 12:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    " They like that game, I like different games- they're still games. You want them to play Call of Duty? Show them how to do it. Maybe they'll like it, maybe they won't. What's the difference. If somebody came up to me and said "Oh, I play this puzzle game thing online" I'd tell them "oh hey! I'm a gamer too! That's cool!" Maybe we'd be friends!"

    Unless it's Rapala Tournament Fishing for the Wii.

  • At 1:58 AM, Blogger Tota said…

    You know what, Tim?

    Tell your granny she's not awesome just because she plays. Like she said herself, anyone can.

    She's awesome for actually having an opinion, voicing it, and defending it with incredible eloquence, and some well applied curse words in the middle =)

    So I must agree: right you are grandma. The main problem we face, is that media just keeps acting like that. Games are not just for kids, and it has been that way for quite a while. They oughta know better.

    But anyways, I agree with every word. Those Big Fish Babes are just as awesome as you. You just win a little more for saying fuck. And driving a hard talk do defend your opinion. =D

  • At 10:00 PM, Anonymous pandoy said…

    i was hopping that when my times fade out and my age grow old, my routine in life is like grandma, cool


  • At 5:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    is everything all right? haven't seen an update in a good while.

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  • At 6:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    so... is Grandma still pissed??

  • At 1:44 AM, Anonymous dodzsky said…

    cool grandma huh...

  • At 6:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grandma seems to update more on Twitter.

    link http://twitter.com/oghc

  • At 10:39 AM, Blogger Mathew J. said…

  • At 4:10 PM, Blogger Moxie said…

    I love this blog sooooo much, you are an awesome grandma. My grandparents used to play the DS all the time! They loved the more casual side of gaming. Like the Pokemon Pinball games and such. Thanks for being a great reminder of them.

  • At 4:18 PM, Anonymous Spencer Smith said…

    Your grandma is freaking amazing. Now if only I could get mine to learn how to use email, haha!

  • At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The most ironic thing is, I bet alot of the people airing their "opinions" of gamers are also the ones who then get onto the bus/tube/metro after a day in the office and have a quick game of Sudoku or something on their iPhones or whatever.

    You also get those who dont realise theyre gaming. I said to my mother a few months ago "mum, I cant believe you've turned into a gamer after berating me so much as a child for playing them!" ... to which she replied "Im not really a 'gamer' (said with some difficulty) though".

    To which I questioned that hour she spent the morning before on Nintendogs :>

    Times have changed along with peoples habbits. They have done so in such a subtle manner though, that alot of people dont realise the have changed at all. 10 years ago my mother would have balked at the thought of owning a hand held console yet, last year, she practically begged for a Nintendo DS.

  • At 11:50 PM, Blogger AmericanGoy said…

    When granma's right, she right, yo.

    What can I say, this show is NOT TV news, it is TV shit.

    Shows like Good Morning America or Today Show are hack shows, made for clueless, stupid people who have nothing better to do than watch that drivel.

    You do not get any information out of those types of shows, you don't get expert opinion off of it (unless you consider "doctor" Phil and his scamming ilk to be expert).

    It's crap for people who like pablum crap.

    The hosts on these shows have to have just such a plastic personality, and to agree on any given topic with whatever they think mainstream society thinks it should be.

    Useless shits, the lot of them TV "news" shitheads.

    I assume these coke head "personalities" assume old ladies should either be locked up in a nursing home or a casino room , huh?

    Fuck them and fuck that noise.

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  • At 12:27 PM, Blogger Teh Tarik Drinker said…

    stumbled upon this blog and enjoyed reading it! go grandma!


  • At 5:03 AM, Blogger laura said…

    Very colourful pictures add beauty to this post Grandma is seriously pissed off today. Really good comments about the topic. I like all comments. Thanks for sharing here.

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  • At 1:23 PM, Anonymous Republic Monetary Exchange said…

    Right on, Grandma! This is my first time reading your blog and I'm totally hooked. Can't wait to read more!


  • At 12:32 AM, Blogger The Fire Hazard said…

    Grandma, you win at life and I totally agree with you :)

  • At 7:19 PM, Blogger Lexymon said…

    That Titchmarsh show clip actually gave me indigestion it made me so mad. As you say plenty of older folks play games, I used to work in a game shop so I know they're out there, and they aren't given any acknowledgement in the media. You know why? Because it undermines the myth that only mentally sick men and misled kids play games. Which is all part of the bigger problem facing gamers which is fear of the unknown and blatant shifting the buck. If I'm half as cool as you when I get to 70 I've done something right in life. Keep on being awesome! x

  • At 3:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Is Grandma okay? Haven't seen any new posts for a while.

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    Has Grandma conquered Halo: Reach?

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  • At 6:10 PM, Blogger JD said…

    And this now sets the new image for older gamers, grannies playing casual games, just like the little old woman sitting back in a rocking chair knitting. Id like to see the look on the faces of the press when they see the stats of how many older women play MMOs. I bet it would blow them away to see that older gamers can keep up and excel in MMO community!

  • At 5:10 AM, Anonymous David said…

    Chill grandma, chill :)

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    Great post, and I agree with Grandma.
    I just recently discovered your blog, and love it. But I want to know, why no posts since March? I hope nothing bad has happened.
    Keep it up.

  • At 1:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey guys, hope everything is okay. Can't tell you how much I have missed new posts about grandma. Seriously, hope everything is good. I freakin love that lady.

  • At 5:09 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We miss you Grandma!

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    Where are you Grandma? Not active anymore?

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    This is so patronising!

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