Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Let's get started: My perspective

That's really a picture of me. REALLY it is. Tim has been bugging me to no end to give everyone a different perspective of Grandma. So here goes…”Grandma” as seen through the eyes of her daughter.

Mom and I have lived together forever. This has been a very interesting relationship. Let me tell you of a general day in my life with “Grandma.”

A typical day begins with Mom sleeping away. Usually, she has just gone to bed a few hours earlier after being up half the night playing one game or another. If it is not the newest RPG game then it is poker. She speaks of her Xbox friends quite often. I go to work; the children head off to school. I do not know what she does while I am at work but I do know if the game is good, I am cooking dinner. She will call me at work on occasion to ask if I gave permission to one child or another to go with their friends. Mom is very street smart and usually knows when the kids are trying to pull a fast one. Or, just being a sweet Mom, will bring me lunch.

Usually, when I get home from work she is sitting in her recliner playing a game. I never know what system she will be playing. This depends on the game. She swears there are great games for each system. It just depends on what you like. It is a little funny that she knows so much about each system. As the children were growing up, she knew what system should be purchased for which child. This child likes sports; he should have this system. This child likes RPGs he should have that system. Of course she will only allow them to play their games if homework is done and they have been outside for a while. And no children are permitted to play her games without her permission. This is taboo. A definite do not go there type of thing. If, as a child, you want to see your young adult years, do not ever touch one of “Grandmas” games or her memory cards.

She may sit in her recliner for hours at a time playing a game. Headphones on. (I really like those. She hasn’t blown any TV speakers since getting them. She is very hard of hearing. Have you ever tried watching a movie with a game on in the next room, full volume? You really get to hate the background music.) The only reason for Mom to get up would be to go the restroom. Question, is it old age or all those diet cokes that make one go so frequently.

If she has played all the games she is interested in and nothing is out she wants she will dabble in some of her other hobbies. These include reading, painting, ceramics, card playing and our old time favorite shopping.

Mom and I used to spend hours and hours at the mall. This has been shortened quite a bit because of her back and legs. It is easy to spend hours at the mall with Mom. First we hit the clothing store of my choice, then a game store of hers, another clothing store of my choice, and a bookstore for both of us then coffee! A nice tall Grande Skinny Mocha Cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso. Mmmm, that sounds good. I think I will fix one when I’m done writing.

If she is not off doing one of her hobbies and the gaming is good let me give you a few examples of what you may hear.
If you were to listen to the two of us it we reverse roles quite a bit.

Mom is in her game room playing some RPG game where people are gathered in a semi-circle bouncing their knees. Can anyone tell me why the characters do that? Tim tried explaining but it seems just plain silly to me. Suddenly you see Mom’s leg go up in the air, controller and arms flying. That stupid fucking bitch killed me. “Mom” I quietly complain. “No, you don’t understand. I have spent hours getting to this point only to have that bitch kill me. Now I have to start in some village or something somewhere.”

“Mom, it is 12:00 a.m., Kenny has to get up to go to school tomorrow,” I state in that motherly tone. “Just a few more minutes, I can’t get through this part it hurts my hands. We have almost made it.”

Mom is walking across the house, in pain. The “f” word is mumbled every other step. “Oh mom, why can’t you be like grandma and moan yoi or something?” But this is mom. It is simply her way of speech.

The roles reverse.

I come home from work and a beautiful, elaborate dinner is prepared. The children are thrilled. “Grandma” is a fantastic cook. It is the good old fashioned, very fattening Hungarian way of cooking. Cholesterol is there, carbs are there, and life is good.

“Linda (that’s me). Do you have my DS upstairs? How many times have I told you, if you are going to play my game, put it back?” I must admit, we are both addicted to Brainage. If I have missed a day of training and the professor shakes his head, I feel really guilty.

I am sitting in the living room playing the game Katamari. Trying desperately for the hundredth time to catch one of the cousins, when of course I fail. A few words too bad to mention escape my mouth. My daughter catches me. “Mom, you just said a bad word.” “No I didn’t. I said gosh darn.” “No mom. You said the really bad word.” “Shush, don’t tell your grandma.”

It is now 1:00 a.m., I am done reading or playing some game on the computer and Mom is just getting started. She is really on a role in her game room discussing different game methods, etc. with Tim. I understand only half of what they are discussing. They talk about all the friends they have made through the blog and how excited they are that they are going to be meeting a few at the convention. I think this is one of the things that have them so hyped about going. Me, I’m going to bed.


  • At 8:22 PM, Blogger liam said…

    Great post! It's really fun to read about Grandma from another perspective. One thing I always wondered was for how long Grandma had been playing video games - and now I know. I think it's great that she was able to ID the proper system for each child's gaming habits, when they were younger - very handy.

    Thanks for giving us the alternative side of Grandma. Looking forward to more!

  • At 9:16 PM, Blogger paine said…

    :) very nice post, i tried brainage the other day at bestbuy i must say its a really cool game

  • At 9:18 PM, Blogger metehed said…

    Holy crap...she cooks too?? I barely make time to feed myself, let alone my family, especially when Im wrapped up in a good game.

  • At 10:34 PM, Anonymous Mc.E said…

    Great first post! I'm a long time reader, first time commenter. I love hearing about people's lives, and how their hobbies and obsessions intertwine with others'. What kind of stuff do you and Grandma like to read?

  • At 12:39 AM, Blogger EazyCheeze said…

    Wow Mom, you're a hot one! You look just like Scully from the X-Files! *snicker*

    Anyway, yeah it's great to hear from someone else. We all love your Mom, Lynn, and wish her many many more years of hardcore gaming (and maybe you as well if you want :) )

  • At 1:03 AM, Anonymous Max A said…

    Nice work. Everyone in that house is talented. Whats going on over there?

    How about a update on Grandma is she feeling okay now? whats the status

    Hope Grandma likes the New God of war.. 8)


  • At 5:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sorry, I should have addressed Mom's health at the onset. Mom had been having back pains for a while. It was very difficult for her to sit, stand, etc. They knew right away she had a few compressed discs in her back. They believed the cause was bone cancer, had a surgeon scheduled, etc. But they wanted to rule out a few things before doing a biopsy. This is when they discovered it was Osteoporosis. While this disease is bad, it was much better news than the alternative. So now Mom has one more item to add to her list of pain inducing problems. She is, however, following doctor's orders and feeling much better.


  • At 12:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Great post!

  • At 1:17 PM, Blogger Suchi Yeukie said…

    Suchi Yeukie like to post for you about bad credit repair mortgage loan fix repair credit bankruptcy foreclosure equity equifax experian transunion dispute May be you have bad credit. If do then try site today :)

  • At 1:30 PM, Anonymous João Gonçalves said…

    And so it starts.

    Welcome Mom. Great post. As someone mentioned is a different perspective and is always welcomed :). Katamari looks like a weird game! Hehe. Maybe i try that one some time. So you're agent Scully eh?! Damn... The truth must be out there... Maybe Grandma knows it! She even know how to do a premium Hungarian dinner :)! Maybe one day i put here a Premium Portuguese reciepe for Grandma to cook for you guys. LOL.
    Well i'm going to stop writting and let other people fill the blog. Hope Grandma is ready and healthy for E3 and ready to kick ass.
    Sorry for any bad english and lot's of love from Potugal.

    João Gonçalves

  • At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Blue said…

    ::applauds:: Wonderful first post, Mom - very nice to catch your perspective on things, and your style of play. And man, I'm reminded AGAIN that I should pick up that DS Lite when it comes out in June...! ::grin:: No worries about E3 - Tim and Grandma have been cravy-busy, I know, but by whatever means necessary I will track them down so I can say hi to them both (and make sure they don't get into any trouble ::laugh::)! It's a madhouse in there, overwhelming, full of people and loud sounds and so on - but for the hardcore, it is gamer heaven. And you'll still get all the best bits online ::wink::

    Thanks again for a wonderful post - all the best to you guys! Take care, be well, and as always, GAME ON!


  • At 10:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And so was said "Go Mom."

    All excited that you posted and such.

    - Josh & Sabreena

  • At 9:57 PM, Blogger ivorynetsuke said…

    What a fantastic introduction! It's always nice to see a different perspective, and you did a wonderful job =)

    Hope everyone is well!


  • At 11:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Wonderful post! I am near your Mom's age,and I understand perfectly the love of gaming,and the necessity of frequent swearing,especially after the 1000th time I get killed as Crypto!!
    You,Grandma and your son Tim are a joy to read,and to listen to.One of the very best spots on the web. I thank you all very much.

  • At 4:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Question, is it old age or all those diet cokes that make one go so frequently."

    Hasn't it been mentioned that she's diabetic? If so, that's a pretty common symptom of diabetes....

  • At 7:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Refer to Diabetes for
    useful information

  • At 2:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Good very Diablo III Gold first submit! I'm a very long time target audience,cheap D3 Gold first time commenter. I really like discoveringcheap D3 items folk's lifestyles, and just how their pastimes along with obsessions connect along with others'. What kind of material Cheap GW2 Gold does one in addition to Nanny prefer to go through?


Post a Comment

<< Home