Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Welcome Another Author!

We got back from LA, more on that trip coming. I have a ton of projects I'm working on at the moment, including a book about Grandma and mature gaming, so we thought it would be interesting to bring in another author to the fold, to give you more frequent updates and a fresh perspective from another person who lives here with Grandma, her daughter Lynn.

The only one who calls her that here is Grandma. The rest of us simply know this strange person as "Mom."

Mom is an elusive character only because she works so damn much. She's one of those "8-5 white collar office denizens" we hear about but only see in movies, right before they snap. Mom's a gamer to be sure, anyone raised under the St. Hilaire matriarchy has to be. She's a different sort of gamer, however. Her favorite games include BrainAge for the Nintendo DS, Katamari Damacy, Guitar Hero, Taiko Drum Master, Sly Cooper 3, Spot Goes To Hollywood, etc.,. Seems normal enough, yes? Yet if I continue the list I begin to think of games like Zuma, backgammon, spider solitaire and the like; games that some folks connect with that elitist class of Western Culture that plays occasionally but doesn't associate with the rest of us. Those people do not classify themselves as gamers. In fact, if gamers were the drunkards of society, the games of this particular group would be the communion wine.

Mom still plays the console games enough for her to be considered a gamer.

However:

Mom doesn't know each Final Fantasy game has a character named "Cid."

Mom doesn't know what Grandma is talking about when she mentions GameFaqs.

Mom doesn't read Penny-Arcade.

Mom doesn't know the meaning of the acronym "EGM."

Mom can't name more than two game development companies.

In short, Mom is like so many out there who love games but don't get into the culture, fanaticism, or hype. She is untainted and innocent in the ways of our people; the fly-on-the-wall observer to the strange world Grandma and the rest of us occupy.

We shall suck her in soon enough. She shall soon become one of us. Show her no mercy. Mercy is for the WEAK.


As for me, I'm still going to post as well, trying as hard as I can to keep a decent schedule with words and videos for everybody. Mom needs some coaxing, though. She's nervous about posting. She thinks she's going to fucking SUCK. She thinks she's not going to know enough jargon or understand what Grandma is playing enough to comment on it.

That's partially why I'm so excited. I'd LOVE to see her posts degenerate into a "Flowers for Algernon"-esque black hole; a gradient starting with pleasantries and cordial apprehension that over time becomes the same burned-out lunatic ramblings to which I've subjected all of you. She's not taking over, she's simply adding another voice that can help illuminate the woman we all love: Grandma.

So everyone welcome Mom to Old Grandma Hardcore!

23 Comments:

  • At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Ireland said…

    Welcome, Spawn of OGHC!

    Will she be coming to E3 with you two? I think they should throw your whole clan in a Partridge Family-like bus wired for gaming and make a road trip out of it!

     
  • At 1:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Another member of Hilaire family joins our merry community of madmen, madwomen, madkiddies, and espeically madgrandmamas! This is good news indeed. Don't be shy, we're all gentle and friendly! Sorta like goths with jumper cables. ;)

    Welcome to the Path Sinister, parental unit Lynn, aka. "Mom." May your experiences be as bewildering as any writer who had the misfortune of committing their thoughts to a written or electronic medium.

    We all look forward to your first work eagerly.

    Bwahaha.

     
  • At 2:50 AM, Anonymous Blue said…

    Welcome, welcome! Good to have another denizen of the St. Hilare family join this crazy mess we've got going on here. ::grin:: Hooray!

    I've got to run to get to bed (early to work, gotta get ready for the upcoming event...) - but what's your guys' plans for E3?? I'm really eager to see you there, if I can! WOO!

    Take care, be well, and GAME ON!

    -A!

     
  • At 3:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You have to read Penny Arcade to be a proper gamer? Damn, I'm screwed. In my defence, though, PA fucking sucks.

     
  • At 8:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh :) She is just a gamer.. U dont need to write a book ;)

     
  • At 8:51 AM, Anonymous Jen said…

    Welcome, Lynn a.k.a 'Mom'. Nice to see you here on the OGHC site! I'm looking forward to reading your stuff, especially since I'm not a particularly hardcore gamer either. Oh, I love games, don't get me wrong, but I'm not brilliant at them like Barb and others here are. I only own two consoles (plus the PC) and not many games, sadly. So you're not alone in the 'what the heck does THAT mean?' boat of gaming. I'm here too!

    Barb's Auusie penpal,
    Jen (blackroseowl)

     
  • At 9:08 AM, Anonymous João said…

    Welcome Mom.

    So you like Solitaire and that kind of stuff? Well you have to start upgrading your gore level of gaming. My advice for a rookie like you? God of War! Yes! Thats a good one! On hard!!! A little of virtual blood never hurt anyone! And its an excelent game! Or Ninja Gayden Black! Star kicking some ass Mom! Grandma loves it! And i love her for doing it so well! Hehe. And Mom, please post. Don't be afraid! I suck and i post! LOL.

    Welcome again and good luck at OGHC.

    I hope you are better Grandma.

    João Gonçalves
    Portugal

    Game on!!!! And happy E3! Kick their asses Grandma!

     
  • At 9:13 AM, Anonymous Kate said…

    We welcome the postings of any member of the fabulous St. Hillaire clan. Good luck to Tim with the book, I am excited to see it when done!!

    Love,
    Kate

     
  • At 9:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Welcome, Mom! We care more about knowing what Grandma is up to than any fancy game knowledge that you may have. I can't wait to see you post!

    PS Yeah, Penny Arcade does suck. They usually start a joke, get too lazy to think of a punchline, and end it with randomness and/or violence.

     
  • At 10:08 AM, Anonymous Stephanie M. said…

    Please jump right in, we want to hear what you have to say! It'll be great to hear another perspective from another, different sort of gamer. :D

     
  • At 10:14 AM, Blogger Brinstar said…

    Welcome.

    You'll do great!

     
  • At 10:39 AM, Blogger Lizzie said…

    This will make the blog even better! :)

     
  • At 10:47 AM, Blogger Chrissylas said…

    Good stuff... welcome to the fold! I gotta say that I'm surprised you've remained untainted by the videogame subculture since you're surrounded by so much of it. And regardless of whether or not you're a rabid gamer we all look forward to what you have to say about gaming as well as the world in general.

     
  • At 11:16 AM, Blogger Collin said…

    Welcome Mom! Don't be nervous. Oh, and Tim, I stumbled across something you and Grandma might find interesting while I was trying to find scans of old catalogs for my girlfriend: http://www.gamingsteve.com/archives/2005/12/the_1982_atari_1.php

     
  • At 7:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's in your blood... remember, Tim's postings made possible by your genes! Grandma's the star - Tim brought Grandma to the world, but only because Mom's creativity was passed to Tim. Game On, Lynn

     
  • At 11:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Welcome! You'll do just fine. if you want to get a little more into console gaming, i found that i absolutely LOVED N64 James Bond FPS, because I could set my husband's health to "Near Expiring", set mine to "Valkyries 'R Us", take away his radar and map, and chase him all over with a rocket launcher, laughing maniacally until he got tired of dying repeatedly and lobbied for more health or his radar back. Wuss. That'll get you hooked!

    Game On!

    raederle

     
  • At 3:07 PM, Blogger ivorynetsuke said…

    Whee!!! Welcome, Lynn (why do I feel kinda guilty calling you that?). Can't wait to see what you have to say =)

    My job is killing me ... sorry I haven't posted in a while.

    Dana

     
  • At 7:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Welcome OMHC! Can't wait for your first post!

    -Aaw

     
  • At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Mikey said…

    Mom will do fine! Look at the exemplary job she did on helping Grandma figure out what to do with God of War in the bedroom scene!

    Mother had a great idea, "...well, he could be eatin one while the other one's doin it..."

    GAME ON!

     
  • At 8:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Mikey,

    The one quote that had to stick in your head. You were not supposed to remember that and Tim was not supposed to record that. Truthfully, I was tired of hearing all the moaning. I figured if someone didn't do something soon I was going to scream!

    Mom

     
  • At 1:38 AM, Anonymous Merchant of Pain said…

    You know the expression where you can't take back anything you say? It goes double on the internet because any number of people can be listening, as it may be, and the memory remains even after you delete/edit your words. This goes triple for anything particularly scandalous, because then those people will tell everyone else, and the news will spread like SARS. Except there are no quarintines, cures, vaccines, or even doctors to save your hide. Plus, SARS gains the abilities: screen capture, cut and paste, and selective quoting, as well as the e-mail and IM (Instant Messaging) infection vectors.

    So... erm... choose your words carefully. =P

    The nature of media and internet social patterns aside, do you perfer for us to call you Mom, or to call you Lynn?

     
  • At 6:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lynn works for me.

     
  • At 2:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Will certainlyDiablo 3 Items the woman be coming overbuy D3 Gold to E3 along with you a couple? I'm sure they must put all your kin in the Partridgebuy D3 items Family-like shuttle hard wired with regard toBuy GW2 Gold gambling and make a road trip out of it!

     

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