Associated Press Gets Down With The Grandma

An article about Grandma's success by the Associated Press is being syndicated all over the god damn place, and we'd like to hear from you folks! So what are your Grandparents like? Do you intend to be an elderly gamer? ARE you an elderly gamer? Do you think we should burn for all eternity in the deepest pits of hell?

Let us know!

The other thing we'd like to see are some images of some of the papers and television shows Grandma on which Grandma has appeared as a result of the AP piece. So e-mail me a picture of yourself holding up the article and tell us where your from! Quite a few folks e-mailed us asking for an address to send the news clips; this is far less expensive for you.

Grandma is playing the early stages of Dragon Quest VIII at the moment; a game she finds frustrating only because you have one option to save: in a church. So, if you're out in the field and get wiped out for whatever reason, you have to start all over again with some nun breathing down your neck asking if you want to go to confession.

I imagine THAT conversation must be awkward.

Nun - "Do you wish to confess your sins? (Save Game)"

Grandma - "Um... no, I just want to save my game, thanks."

Nun - "You can't save unless you tell me your darkest secrets so that you may be forgiven by the Lord."

Grandma - "Alright... so.... how do we do this?"

Nun - "How long has it been since your last confession?"

Grandma - "I don't know, you're the memory card, you tell me."

Nun - "Go on..."

Grandma - "Alright, I let my buddy here die while fighting Slimes in order to save on items; I blasphemed on SEVERAL ...hundred occasions; I murdered a whole SHITLOAD of little creatures that did nothing but stand in my way between here and the tower, and after I died I came back to this point which technically goes against the dogma of the church, which makes me both a witch and a heretic; I ....um, left the game dialogue box open instead of pausing to get some popcorn, forcing the characters to stare off into space for a while as I divulged in some gluttony; ...I want an XBox 360 so bad I've secretly contemplated world domination to achieve this goal.... shit, what else......? I think that's it."

Nun - "..."

Grandma - "So can I save now?"

Nun - "Press the X button 400 times, recite the SquareEnix 2005 mission statement 37 times and then you can save."

Grandma - "...I fucking HATE this shit. Can't I just get a Final Fantasy type cell phone and use that?"

Nun - ".....No."

Grandma - "Fine, fine....Square Enix endeavors to be the world's leading digital content provider, bringing you dreams and excitement beyond expectation. [X] Square Enix endeavors to be the world's leading digital content provider, bringing you dreams and excitement beyond expectation. [X] Square Enix endeavors....god DAMN this is stupid.....um, endeavors to be the world's leading...."


The woman just wants to save her game, I suppose.

Game on!