All Hell Breaks Loose

The past few days have shown Grandma and I that not only is Karma a "bitch," she is a dirty two-timing whore with an ineffectual case worker, a scorching heroin addiction and a grotesque sense of humor.

So let's talk, you and I. Let me tell you about our week as Hubert Selby Jr. characters. Happy fucking holidays!!! WELCOME TO OUR HELL. It's alright, Seymour. You'll see!

It will all work out in the end.

Sunday Grandma was the subject of a column in a local paper, the Akron Beacon Journal. The article was well written, but let some cats out of some bags that we had intended to keep tightly closed until final confirmations were made. To clarify things, we have been in contact with Good Morning America about a possible appearance in the coming weeks; we don't know if it will ever reach fruition, we don't know if they're still interested, we only know there may still be hope that Grandma will get to be on the show. She's VERY excited about the idea, but we'll have to wait and see.

Tuesday afternoon, Grandma was a guest on NPR's Here and Now (click the NPR logo to hear Grandma on the show.)

The crooked bastards at MCI switched our phones from the house at which we still currently occupy to the house in which we intend to move WAY too early, so we didn't have a phone for the interview. On top of our inability to make phone calls, the poor guy who still resides at said "new house" almost had his phone turned off as well in the mess. NPR was still very eager to have Grandma on the show, so they referred her to our closest local NPR affiliate in Kent, Ohio so that we may communicate with Boston. This was Grandma's first time in a studio, so it was an unexpected treat and, as most things involving National Public Radio tend to be, it was a learning experience.

The next day, Q106.5 had Grandma as a guest in Davenport, Iowa. They seemed liked a nice enough bunch of people, but at this point Grandma was dealing with packing everything in her room for the intended move this Friday, and Mom was dealing with getting all the paperwork ready to close the deal on the house, mind-boggling amounts of end of the year preparation at work, packing everything else in the house as the kids get in the way, and a headache that would make grown men shoot themselves. At this point, we now have a temporary number that MCI "graciously" gave us to correct their error, but nobody else has the number; so chaos erupted.

Then came the news.

Without going into many personal details, let's just say that after a couple months of paperwork, meetings, signatures, reassurances and packing, we found out yesterday that there was a possibility that the offer and closing details on the new house may fall through; the process starting from the beginning. When we sold this house, the buyer's offer included the stipulation of a date, December 20th, to which we would have to meet by ...being somewhere else. Meanwhile, we had found our dream home within our costs which agreed to such a date for us to move in. So, if our new house was suddenly out of reach, and the sale of our house here had gone through, we would legally have to vacate the house without anywhere to go.

I was very, VERY close to posting an update as a call for help stating we were becoming homeless. It almost happened. I only waited for news of SOME kind that could clear everything up. "Surely this doesn't happen this way," I thought to myself. "It must be something else, someone can't afford to maintain their bills, they get laid off, the payments increase, SOMETHING else; we had done everything right, how could we possibly be thrown out on the street?!?"

Last night was quiet. We didn't really speak much in anticipation of the bad news. It was solemn. Jose from the Washington Post sent us copies of the front page showing the article featuring Grandma as seen by folks who buy from the newsstand. I had the papers on the desk, e-mails from folks trying to coordinate more interviews, arrangements for guest appearances coming into our inbox and on the voicemail of our permanent number, and suddenly it all felt very cold. What good was any of it if Grandma didn't have anywhere to live? This site would almost definitely die; no internet- and more importantly no electricity or space to power and accommodate her systems, games and television- and most dire of all: no roof; no food- it could all be taken away from us so quickly.

Worst case scenarios flickered ad-nauseum in our heads providing us with an unpleasant seizure of panic-denial/panic-denial repeating until sleep took it away. There could be no drinking, god knows what mistakes we would have made. We needed to keep it together and hope for the best.

Hoping for the best is sometimes the worst thing one can do. Grandma especially has learned this lesson; and applies the technique to just about anything. If one only expects the worst, the absolute most terrifying outcome to each situation, then when good happens, it is merely a mistake from the gods of misery; an oversight; a disciplinarian has forgotten the punishment.

Today we received the call. The bullet appears to be dodged. There are no guarantees. We still hold our breath until the keys to our new house are in hand. It doesn't take much; you can lose everything trying to obtain a slightly better piece of the earth to call your own. In three days, we should be completely moved in to a new house, establishing our home; our comfort, yet again. I would say "you don't know what it's like to come that close" but if it was this easy for us, chances are many of you have gone through something similar.

I hope not.


*phew!* Well, I'm glad this move is almost over with! We WILL have a house, Grandma WILL keep on gaming as much as she wants, and our holidays will not be devoured by sadness. We're going to be HAPPY, god DAMMIT!!

So let's get back to business as usual!

Dana from sunny Florida sent Grandma the perfect gift via the amazing electronic network web thingy yesterday. A $50.00 gift certificate to EBGames!! THANKS, DANA!!! Grandma is having her usual difficulty deciding exactly what she should get, so she needs your help! She's torn between Dragon Quest VIII and Radiata Stories or possibly just putting $50 towards an XBox 360. Help!!!

Post your ideas and recommendations for Grandma so we can get back to some level of normalcy.

Game on!