Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Grandma Is An Artist, Bitch!

While it may seem like Grandma does nothing but play video games all day, she really does have other hobbies. Really. When she isn't plugging away at the latest console deathmatch, she reads, she goes outside, she goes shopping, she plays bingo, she paints. When I mentioned art, a few of you e-mailed us stating "pony-up, yo! Let's see her shit!" All right, dog' I shows you the motherfucka:Grandma is in a ceramics phase right now, buying up greenware like Vesuvius is about to blow and archeologists will need to find what a very tiny person in Ohio would look like. She's not bad, but her gaming temper carries over when "Autumn Sky Red" accidentally gets on the "Snowy Dove White." Appropriate cursing ensues.

She painted this picture of me a very long time ago when I was cute and didn't have a bulbous nose jetting out of my head; scaring children and making security guards nervous. Just look at me. I'm STILL a smug-ass dickhead. Look at that idiot smile. Look at that fucking stupid face. Nice picture though...

Grandma has a way with taking her time on a piece. This one took her a few weeks, I think. I remember her cheerful reaction to "how the colors turned out." This was painted during one of her famous frustrated "if-I-play-this-for-one-more-minute-I-will-burn-down-this-house-in-anger" game pauses. This one was Prince of Persia: Sands of Time.

And this is a picture Grandma painted of her daughter Diane. This is a big ass picture near the desk. Looking at me. Watching me, everywhere I go. Try creating a site called "Old Grandma Hardcore" and laughing with your friends "Hey I made I site about Grandma! ...I know! She IS like that!!" with this hanging over your shoulder. This was one of the first paintings Grandma ever painted. She had a thing for oils, I guess.

--More coming tonight!!--

18 Comments:

  • At 12:44 PM, Blogger Leci said…

    Grandma is an awesome artist. I think the picture of you as a little kid is cute. xDD Nothing wrong with big noses either. o;o.

     
  • At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Hauk said…

    nice pics dude..shes good.

     
  • At 2:52 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    Thanks. Grandma has been bugging me for the past couple hours "What do they think of the paintings??" She loves the love, guys :)

     
  • At 6:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am really impressed! I paint too so I'm kind of a snob about it. You know how it is...

    Portraits are hard, but you have 'em nailed OG, I can totally see the personalities coming right off the canvas.

    Keep it up!
    - Mama Lombax

     
  • At 11:20 PM, Anonymous emily said…

    Grandma, you make me laugh so hard, and I idolize your game skills, and while because of baby on the way I am cutting my already pretty clean vocab way back, there are times when financial aid just makes me want to obscenitize them to death. I frighten my husband who's in the Army when I have to rant about the evil that is incompetent uncaring stooges who have my money and won't give it to me.

    You want love? Your art rocks! I particularly like the portraits, because my stick figures aren't even straight. I can tell what a sweet boy Tim was (shhhh... probably still is) and that is an AMAZING depiction of his mom. I love the pose and the life-like quality and the just in general awesomeness.

    Go Grandma!

     
  • At 11:26 PM, Anonymous theresa said…

    hi grandma, im proud of you.just had a baby for months trying to lose some weight because my husband is harrsing me

     
  • At 1:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    1st, Grandma has got talent and a hot daughter....is she availible? =)

    2nd Theresa....get down close to the weight he married you at and tell him to piss off.

    Wish my Grandma was this cool!!!

     
  • At 9:38 AM, Anonymous lightmyfiregal33 said…

    You go grand ma. That shit is bitchin!!!!!!!!

     
  • At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Sondra said…

    YOU GO GRANDMA! I just found this blog and I see so much your Grandmother and I have in common. I am 40 years old and have been hooked on video games since the first Nintendo came out.I too am fixing to be a Grandmother since my 18 year old only child is 6 months pregnant. I also loved the Fatal Frame series, and Silent Hill series also. I haven't gotten the Resident Evil series but let me know if Granny likes that one cause that's a good indicator that I will like it too. I also tend to cuss a bit much will playing cause I really get into it like Grandma does. I can't believe some of the things I called Mario when I first started....Ha-Ha! I only hope that my Grandchild will think I'm as cool as you think she is. I figure everyone would want a Grandma like that! You keep up the gaming Grandma! You rock in my book!

     
  • At 10:59 AM, Anonymous news blogs snake said…

    Can you post a picture of your grandma on this site? Assuming she got be a pretty woman as an artist. Thanks

     
  • At 12:08 PM, Anonymous meat_nigga said…

    I think grandma is a real good artist, and that she did a real good job!

     
  • At 4:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    A GRANDMA THAT PLAYS VIDEOGAMES ,DAM THATS TOO MUCH.GRANDMA YOU DO YO THANG GIRL THAT SHITS TIGHT. HOLLA!!!!!

     
  • At 5:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOL....... Go Gma. I played TFC online in clans for a while. I was good. Kicking ass. Beat the crap out of kids who didnt know I was a 38 year old Mom. Made them mad. Met some nice ppl, all male. they didnt care once they saw I was good at it. Your Gma is great.

     
  • At 5:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LOL......This shit is funnyyyyyyyyy.

     
  • At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    G-MA ROCKS

     
  • At 12:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grandma's artwork is great! It is wonderful to see an older person with so many interests. Like most people my age, I have grown up with video games. People used to say it was bad for you, but I always knew that was wrong. I think video games would help people prevent alzheimer's disease and other problems. I always assumed that older people couldn't play, because when my older relatives saw me playing they always acted like they just couldn't comprehend what I was doing. I love your Grandma!

     
  • At 3:03 PM, Blogger David said…

    I want a high-resolution copy of that... can you post it? I'm the artist from http://www.GamersGoneBad.com

     
  • At 3:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My partner and i Diablo III Gold daunt my spouse who has inside Armed service after i ought to argument in regards to the nasty that may be inexperienced uncaring stooges who have the cash Billig Diablo 3 Gold and does not design it for everyone.

     

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