A Trip to Circuit City
There comes a time in each of our lives where we learn a lesson that cannot be taught in schools or 'on the streets.' We all must go through one day where we learn just how far our own stupidity goes. On that day, we learn humility; we learn we're not so different from everyone else. We're all fucking morons.
I think I've learned this lesson on quite a few different occasions, and somehow manage to forget. Well yesterday I recovered those memories. All because of Grandma's god damn room.
As you can see from this intricately detailed rendering that took hours to measure and interpret into AutoCAD, Grandma's room is sort of cramped. The angle between the chair and the television is pretty wicked, but we can't squeeze the chair in between the bed and the television.
Upon the suggestion of many, we tried to rearrange the furniture so that the chair would be at a better viewing angle. We drew up several possibilities, but understand that this is Grandma's Room, so she had a few directives. First- the windows by the television and the desk couldn't be blocked. Also, her collection of angel figurines would still have to be on display in an easy to get to spot. She would have to have enough room to do her exercises for her knee, as well as enough room to get to her clothes and get dressed.
I tried moving the bed to the side, moving all of her crap into another corner, and moving the television in front of the chair. Grandma's reaction: "It looks stupid."
I tried moving the television over, keeping the stereo aspect of the speakers, but moving the crap closer to the desk. Grandma's reaction: "I don't like it."
What about moving the desk over by the window... "The cable for the modem would look tacky."
What about moving some of her crap into the other room... "I like my books right where they are."
We debated what would work best for a few hours, and then I simply turned the tv on the stand to face her. "Hey! That's much better!"
"Will this work?"
"Wait, no? Why?"
"I'd have to turn it back to watch television, and I don't want to scratch the unit."
After hours of looking at the pros and cons of each option carefully, moving around some very heavy furniture to see what it would look like, we decided on the ultimate piece of furniture, designed not by the clever Amish, but instead by Circuit Fucking City.
There it is in all it's bilingual glory. We just plopped the non-color coordinated lazy-susan on top of the entertainment center, and now Katamari Damacy is Grandma's bitch.
If we would have got this in the first place, it would have saved a lot of trouble, pain, and the lives of several loved ones. What's done is done, however. Now we get better sound in the camera.
--More on the way! Coming up... Video #5...; S&M Bondage Has a Friend Named Rehabilitative Therapy...; Ask Grandma Hardcore #2.....; etc.,.... Keep with the e-mails!--