O, The Childhood Memories

After talking with some family who discovered the site via Fazed (instant recognition, moments of "yeah, that's gotta be Mom...") I realized that Grandma's gaming cred goes way back before I was born. I knew she played an Atari 6400, but I assumed my first memories of her passion were angry controller spiking and fervent swearing with the likes of the Duck Hunt / Mario Brothers bundled pack with the original NES. Not so, it turns out. My mother and her siblings tell tales of Donkey Kong, Pac Man (and the subsequent feminist hit, "Ms. Pac Man") with Grandma having a similar attitude. She says: "Christ, I remember her swearing at Pong." I can remember the big antique arcade screens at bowling allys and bars, but even I didn't assume she sought after them. I suppose it fits her character.


In light of this new information, here are some memories of days gone by:

[in a mocking voice, trying to sound mentally ill] "Neeayh! The Princess is in another castle!!"

"Did you see that?! The fucking dog is laughing at me!! I wonder if you can SHOOT HIM!!" [fires several rounds from a red NES pistol]
Me- "You're wasting your ammo"
Grandma - "Shut the fuck up. I hate the dog."

[playing Milon's Secret Castle] "I can't get on the FUCKING LEDGE!! HE WON'T JUMP, DAMMIT!!"

[playing Gauntlet] "What did it say? I shot the food? Couldn't I STILL EAT IT WITH AN ARROW STICKING OUT!? I'M NOT GOING TO EAT THE ARROW!!"

[playing Empire Strikes Back on SNES] "Jump! JUMP DAMN YOU!!! FUCK!!!!"

[playing Disney's Aladdin on Genesis] "I swear to Christ, I can't get on the ledge. It's impossible. They made this game impossible." [ten minutes later] "FUCK!!!"

[playing Columns] "AAAHHHH!!!!!!"

[playing DuckTales] "I swear to God. This is so... look, if it's this hard how are kids suppose to do this, when even I can't? It's Donald Duck!! It's for god damn KIDS!"

[playing Spot Goes To Hollywood] "Get on the LEDGE!!! JUMP, DUMMY!!" [shows me the controller] Look!!! I'm fucking pressing.... [mashes buttons on controller until face turns red from stress] ...the FUCKING BUTTON!!!!"


More to come... Thanks for the comments! Pictures coming soon!


---Update: Welcome digg.com readers!!
We made the frontpage on digg.com! Very cool honor from a very cool site.

Open replies to e-mails and comments: Yes, she really talks like this. Yes, it's sort of intimidating for new players to come over and face her. No, she's not on Xbox-Live; and here's why: Grandma doesn't like playing online. She doesn't like the idea of an eleven year old calling her a cock-shit. Most XBox Live players are pretty cool, but you have one bad experience... It's the same reason she doesn't eat at Bob's Big Boy anymore (just replace the foul-mouthed pre-teen with a boody scab in a burger and you get the idea.) Halo 2 is one thing, but the idea of someone watching her struggle in an RPG sort of scares her, so you won't find FFXI in her top ten.

Also: a couple of you pointed out "Atari 6400? ...what the shit is that?" Couldn't tell ya. I was an infant when she would put a cartridge in a black and brown looking thingy and some dots on the screen thing would move and go 'beep!', so... you're right, I don't remember the model number on her first system, but I will find out for you. When she talked about it I thought she refered to it as a 6400, but I could be wrong. Again, my first cogent memories of the woman were two player mode on Super Mario Brothers. Good eye, though, thanks for the catch.

Thanks for the comments! If all goes well (she rented Prince of Persia last night) I will have pictures up by tommorow. ---