Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Hatemail Grab Bag #1

Hooray! Have you ever been to HELL? We were there the day before yesterday. Sending things to Earth....

#1: "Dear Tim and Grandma - You are fucking posers. Final Fantasy X was a new way of doing things. I'm sorry you posers couldn't see what they were trying to do. Anyone who likes Final Fantasy VII is a poser, and you proved it. Poser." Signed "=P"

Thanks for your letter! Grandma and I appreciate you visiting the site!

#2: "LIAR!! Everyone is buying into your bullshit but I know your just telling your grandma what to say. It's pretty fucking obvious. No one talks that way unless they play online, which you say she doesn't do very often. you fucking suck!!" Signed "Travis"

Thanks Travis! Travis is a nice name, I knew a Travis once. Grandma talks trash, but you probably won't hear her say "n00bs" or refer to a "camper" as anything other than one who shits in the woods. Thanks for the letter! You get a gold star!!

#3: "Don't you ever think that vulgarity is offensive to some people? Are you trying to be offensive? I think you should sit down with a pastor and really talk about God. i think you would find that what you're doing is wrong. [sic]" Signed "Jess"

Thanks Jess! Thanks you for your letter! We love e-mails! Can't get enough of em'!

#4: "STOP FCKING AROUND WITH MY PR0N ASSHOLE!!! THIS IS NOT "OLD GRANDMA HARDCORE" AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHOULD BE HERE WHEN I TYPE THAT INTO GOOGLE!!!! STOP FUCKING WITH ME!!! CHANGE THE NAME OF YOUR SITE!!!" Signed "!!!!!!"

Thanks for your letter! You know, we've thought about changing the name of the site after the fifteenth marriage proposal from "Dirty Old Man In The UK" (look I don't know if he's actually old or from the UK, it's just the guy's handle) But we're sort of locked into it now that we have videos and such. Thanks though!

#5: "I know a horrible secret about you. I know who you are, I know what you are, and I'm going to tell people. Fuck you." Signed "You know who, asshole"

Thanks for writing in! I don't have a police record, and I don't have any kids... well shit! You must know something I don't! I'm curious to find out my horrible secret! Yay!

#6: "BUY A FUCKING DECENT CAMERA YOU WHITE TRASH PEECE OF SHIT! I CANT SEE HER BOOBIES!! ITS ALL PIXALATED ARE YOU POOR?? CANT YOU AFFORD A DECENT CAMERA??? WELL??????" Signed "HALO__R0XX0R1988"

Thanks for your letter! You know we get lots of e-mails about that, except usually they don't mention boobies and they aren't SO LOUD!! Nope! Not much money! When I get some more I'll buy a new camera, they aren't that expensive.

#7: "Tell your grandma her paintings are shitty. What's with the sombraro [sic]?" Signed "The Nate"

Thanks for your letter The Nate! Wow! You must be the one everybody's talking about! Cool! I think her paintings exhibit a standard above which is casually found in the self-imposed artist's room; her use of oil is bold- her highlights are passive and dull the atmosphere of the piece in an attempt to undersaturate the landscape to project sincere color. We got the sombrero at Chi Chi's!!



---Thanks for the letters everybody!! Keep the e-mails and comments coming! More updates coming tonight!---

11 Comments:

  • At 12:10 PM, Blogger The Burnt Pizza said…

    great stuff. this is the first time i checked your blog at work. had to, so bored. but, i know your secret too, you shouldn't eat meat, you know.

     
  • At 12:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yep we all know your secret. Guess that means its not a secret.

    Small minds make cheap shots.

    Anyway I LOVE OGHC - I don't want to marry her or - anyone else for that matter. But I love her just the same.

     
  • At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Hauk said…

    Tim, dont listen to those bastards..they all just want a grandma like you and since they dont..they're angry..fuck them...

    OGHC rox! :D

    Hauk

     
  • At 4:03 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    Listen (ooo-wah-ooo),
    Do you want to know a secret (ooo-wah-ooo),
    Do you promise not to tell, (whoa oh oh).

    Closer (ooo-wah-ooo),
    Let me whisper in your ear (ooo-wah-ooo),
    Say the words you long to hear (whoa oh oh),
    I play Halo 2. oooOOOoooOOooo...

    Hey, I just thought of this. Has she given Psychonauts on the XBox a try yet? That damned game sucked me in this past weekend.

     
  • At 4:04 PM, Anonymous TerribleT said…

    fuckthaWHA?!

    My first inclination is to question the reality in which these trolls live...

    ...and then I wonder how they managed to not only locate your site, but formulate some response.

    GRAMMA ROCKS MY SOCKS. <3<3<3

    p.s. BARD'S TALE!!!

     
  • At 4:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's funny to get hate mail from 5 year olds. Don't be a fool, stay in school you little punks. haha.

    Anyway, keep up the good gaming, everyone.

    Grandma should try Rome: Total War. She would love the war dogs.

     
  • At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lol, nice positive replies.

     
  • At 6:51 PM, Blogger Stephanie said…

    Oh, I love haters. Not as much as I love this site though.

    Grandma, you are my zen.

     
  • At 9:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is a laugh. Don’t these people have any brains at all? I mean, for chists sake! If they find it offensive, why do they look?
    And what the hell is a poser? Who calls people a 'poser'? I find pointless hate mail almost as humorous as the site itself, which I must say, rocks my jocks (in a non sexual way).

    Granny, you rock.

    Game on!

     
  • At 11:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    the hate mail is really funny. but why does that one guy keep useing the word poser again and again?

     
  • At 3:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    On the subjectBuy D3 Gold of stats associated with hate, I'd been inquiring about what Grandmother mentions Mr. Interface Thompson, the actual Ethical Crusader in the market to eradicate 'evil' Cheap RS Goldvideo games.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home