Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

EA's Ian Milham gives Grandma the gift of awesomeness

In yet another puzzling roadblock for Grandma's quest to answer "Who the fuck am I?", Ian Milham, art director of Dead Space, sent Grandma a very special Halloween present.

And the fantastic depiction of Grandma wielding a 211-V Plasma Cutter was only the beginning.

Ian assures Grandma that her apparent love of survival horror games is not at all complete without the addition of Dead Space. Sure, she loved Resident Evil. Sure, she loved Fear. Sure, she nearly swerved off the road when I told her the new iteration of Fatal Frame wasn't coming stateside. But the man worked hard on Dead Space. He worked hard specifically for people who love getting the shit scared out of them as they waltz their controller down another corridor painted with flickering light. People like Grandma. Who are we to deny Grandma the pleasure of surround-sound induced nightmares? Who are we, he would surely argue, to prevent her from seeing mangled and terrifying hell-creatures ripping her game-manifest body to pieces?


And who can argue with that, really.

So Ian sent Grandma the above drawing.

And also this:

Grandma was honored, thrilled, and honestly a little perplexed.

But what made her the most excited..

She's already on chapter 3 :)

Ian, thank you. That was fantastic. Grandma insists on playing it in the dark with the volume cranked up.

Grandma: "Tell him.. I don't know, ..tell him it's harder to be scared when I know these things were made by a big sweetheart. Or is that too corny? Shit, I don't know what to say. Tell him THANK YOU! And ask him where I get the saw thingy!"

Game on.


  • At 5:14 PM, Anonymous sam said…

    That is so fucking cool, you guys. You will LOVE Dead Space. I TOLD YOU THIS already :D

  • At 6:38 PM, Anonymous Vivi Werneck said…

    Grandma you're awesome! I'm a big fan of yours! Have you ever played Fallout 3? If yes, please post the video! I would love to see that! A big hug from your brazilian fan Viviane Werneck

    "Game on fuckers!!!" (I love this! lol) \m/

  • At 6:50 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…


    I remember :)

    Vivi Weneck-

    Yes! She did play Fallout 3! She played it as a good character and again as a bad character. I didn't record a video at the time, though.

  • At 3:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    so awesome

  • At 10:31 AM, Anonymous biggzy said…

    Awesome! You rock, Grandma!

  • At 12:54 PM, Anonymous Ian Milham said…

    Tell her to play it on "hard" difficulty. Then she won't think we're such sweethearts.

    ~ Ian

  • At 3:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ian! Dead Space was awesome!

  • At 3:25 AM, Blogger Kwixotik said…

    Dear Grandma,

    I aspire to be you when I'm old. I hope you know how awesome you are. I'm sure you do, as that word is probably the one most often seen in your comments, but I thought I'd say so anyway.


  • At 7:50 AM, Blogger pika23 said…

    yay grandma!!! she will love deadspace...wish i had it.

  • At 2:16 PM, Anonymous Blue said…

    Oh man, the ripper is AWESOME. Don't bother with upgrading the range, tho - that actually ends up working AGAINST you, as most of those bastards like to get all up in your proverbial grill. MAN the art direction and sound in that game is so good - absolutely top quality! I think you guys will surely dig it ;)

    Hugs to you guys and GAME ON! <3


  • At 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I know it's older, but has Grandma tried Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth on the XBox yet?

  • At 2:40 PM, Blogger Jess said…

    Dead Space is one of my all time favorite games. Rock on!

  • At 5:34 AM, Anonymous dves said…

    haha.. very funny grandma.. nice drawing. you are more than tomb raider. :-)

  • At 7:42 AM, Anonymous Timeshare Resales said…

    I would love to see that! A big hug from your brazilian fan Viviane Werneck.
    Timeshare Resales

  • At 2:53 AM, Blogger AllysonKrupar said…

    Oh man. Grandma rocks and I'm glad to be able to stop by oghc every now and then for a hilarious update. The drawing's awesome and so is the card.

    I'll be in Ohio from Dec. 23 - Jan. 2 (I think). Hit me up!


  • At 2:54 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    This is nice and cool.I would love to see that!
    Hannah Montanah Games

  • At 8:20 PM, Anonymous Get Info Here said…

    very artistic. looks like really grandma.

  • At 7:35 AM, Anonymous dvestv said…

    Watta art! Nice drawing dude! Grandma seems like look young. :-)

  • At 10:48 PM, Anonymous den parser said…

    I like the drawing, very creative.

  • At 5:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grand mam pleas correct your color sachem . It make so difficult.

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  • At 12:52 AM, Blogger VirtuaCash said…

    All Grandmas should play video games. Good on yah for spendin time with her. bless

  • At 3:34 PM, Anonymous anna said…

    That is so fucking cool, you guys. You will LOVE Dead Space. I TOLD YOU THIS already

  • At 10:42 AM, Anonymous David said…

    I lucked out and got a chance to interview Ian Milham, ... I was there for 5 years and eventually became art director on the game for Episode 3, and that was awesome. .... We talked to him about getting involved- this was no EA running ... or he would ask what something looked like and we'd give him .

  • At 11:20 AM, Anonymous top pills said…

    Wow!!!! Awesome, my grandma plays Nintendo wii with me, believe or not it is true!

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  • At 9:19 AM, Anonymous Adults Store said…

    Next time get Grandma a realistic dildo for her gift, as a joke of course! It will be funny and the look on her face should be priceless. Thanks for the posts, I adore this site.

  • At 11:49 PM, Blogger Josh said…

    This is cool. I just made a new website for games called LazeeGames. You should check it out.

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  • At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Funbrain said…

    Somebody should make an RPG adventure games like grandmas and grandpas I think it would be nice and I think it will sell on the market cause mostly nowadays most characters are some random handsome guys and pretty girls kinda boring if you ask me.

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