Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

See you guys at PAX!

It's about 2:00am EST and we're about to leave for the airport. Grandma is ridiculously excited for this trip. Excited, and perhaps a bit nervous. PAX has sold out. We got our pre-reg packet in the mail as promised so we're good, but it's going to be a hell of a lot of people this year it seems. That's not the problem- the more the merrier of course; Long Live Penny Arcade! But I wonder how many apologies we'll have to dish out for constantly plowing through crowds of people with one of these.

First, she's going to get to see the Pacific Northwest for the first time in her life. I have been unable to describe it to her in a way that isn't hyperbolic or vague. She's got to see it for herself. You guys in Tacoma might think you live in a rather boring part of the world, but we're in motherfucking Ohio. One week in Youngstown and you'll thank god you a) don't know who James Traficant is and b) didn't grow up in a place where James Traficant is referred to as "an okay guy."

Or to put it another way, the woman who played Mrs. Brisby in The Secret of NIHM is from Boardman, Ohio. She's buried there. She killed herself. Will Wheaton was also in that movie and he's a guest speaker at PAX.

It's like really depressing code where a;Ohio="false"

Second, (yet most important), she gets to see a lot of awesome people. Annie is on a panel. (Hi Annie!) Tim Schafer is on a panel. Tim Schafer made Grandma cry tears of joy. After Psychonauts, I mean. We have to find a way to say thank you for what DoubleFine did for Grandma when she was in the hospital. It is a mission.

Blair Herter used to work for MTV, and did that first segment with Grandma that introduced damn near everybody to what she was about. He's cool as shit. Last time I saw him I drunkenly puked all over myself outside the Mondrian hotel on Sunset Blvd. Hopefully he's forgotten that. But he'll be there too! Not to mention a few people from TotalFark I know; some working as Enforcers, some experiencing the convention like us, and some who just love to get together.

If I'm not mistaken, I think Grandma said Vic is going to be there too.

This could be the reunion.

And all in the celebration of Penny Arcade.

In February, I really, honestly thought this trip would never happen. It was too far away, too expensive to get there, Grandma was too weak, it was too good to happen this year.

I also really need to stop posting now before I jinx the shit out of it for her.

Also! There were some fantastic comments in the last post we weren't able to answer quickly- but I swear I will when we return. As long as I can cram a Panasonic DVX-100b into this carry-on luggage sitting next to me, there will be a video too!

I'm probably forgetting something. If it's a toothbrush, I apologize in advance when you see us.

And if you see us, come say hey! Grandma wants to meet you! That's the whole point of these conventions, man. We all love the same stuff. Grandma is an equal there instead of a freak.

I need to find a toothbrush, now.

Game on!


  • At 10:00 AM, Blogger Alecia said…

    Have fun guys!! I won't be able to make it this year. =( Low funds. But Grandma will have a BLAST. I went to PAX 06 and it was amazing. Now it is held in an even bigger place so they can fit more shit inside. And, the Pacific Northwest is an amazing place. I had a friend here from Ohio(Funny =P ), and he now wants to buy a house out here because he loved it so much.

    Game on, Grandma!

  • At 11:10 AM, Blogger Crazy Raven Productions said…

    I say you build her a lance and hook it to the chair so you can plow through the crowds with ease! :)

    Have entirely too much fun!

  • At 5:36 PM, Blogger Scarele said…

    I totally agree on the part where the Pacific Northwest is just awesome and pretty. I mean, nothing beats basalt cliffs over the ocean, or a nice drive through the forests here, heck even the desert (where I am) is pretty with hints of wineries here and there. Tacoma is a beautiful place, and you're not too far from many attractions like Pike Place Market and such.

    Glad you get to head to PAX this year. I'll be cheering you guys on from my home, as I didn't get lucky this year.

  • At 3:46 AM, Anonymous sayoka said…

    wow nice blog. i liked it

  • At 9:07 PM, Anonymous sirvan said…

    @ Nianal

    well said.. i hope i could visit that place someday..

  • At 4:51 AM, Blogger helen-louise said…

    It was awesome to run into you guys today! I'd no idea Grandma had been ill (I had serious exams at college this year and have been much less online than usual), so I'm glad she's feeling better. PAX is amazing and I have to drag my best friends over from the UK next year :)

  • At 6:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Tim and Grandma!

    I can't remember how I first stumbled upon this blog, more than two years ago, but I remember that it took video to make me believe you!

    I'm half-a-grandma. I'm a woman, 37, in poor health, and spend most all day, every day, on my Wii, surfing a little more than gaming.

    I've loved games more than any other entertainment my whole life. In better days I was a computer tech. This always got me the oddest response out of others.

    I'm a little nerdier, though, as I play a lot more puzzle and adventure games than the twitchfests Grandma likes. But my hubby is always telling me I sound just like her when a tough bit of combat or platforming is getting to me!

    So game on, Grandma!

    Grandma 2.0 (buggier, more bloated, but newer)
    - from Wii Opera (which has a surpringly good predictive text input system, and just got better *and* free)

  • At 10:52 PM, Anonymous Karla said…

    First of all- I am FURIOUS with myself! You guys walked 1 foot in front of me & I was too unsure it was you guys/too much of a pussy to ask... and now I'm pissed! WEll, anyways, though I regret it, I am still fucking stoked I saw you guys. I hope your & Grandma's PNW trip goes well! I am a huge fan, keep it up!


  • At 10:56 PM, Anonymous Karla said…

    Oh I made a typo in my url- it's

    www.myspace.com/squishapuppyhead :)


  • At 4:14 AM, Anonymous Blue said…

    It was so awesome to see you guys, I'm still all squeal-y with glee :) YAAAAAAY PAX! It is awesome and wonderful and Tim bought me pizza and it was super great. I hope you guys had preposterous amounts of fun, and come back whenever you can. SEATTLE LOVES YOUUUUUUU.

    Much hugs and safe journeys - and GAME ON!

    -A! <3

  • At 5:04 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    LOL i just read the comment about the guy that saw you two passing in front of him and didn't do a thing...don't feel bad dude, i'd have done the same thing. either that or screamed "HOLY SHIT IS OGHF'ingC!" and proceeded to jump on her chair for a hug. eitherway i'm pretty sure i'd make an ass of myself. LMFAO!!!

  • At 4:03 AM, Anonymous krish said…

    That is gr8 to hear! Another event you might want to visit for sure is the Call Of Duty 4 tournament at The Den. Check out more HERE

  • At 5:01 PM, Anonymous sirvan said…

    good luck in your new ventures..

  • At 10:22 AM, Anonymous get info here said…

    by the way i forgot to say something which is good to grandma. next time she gonna come back i do. :-)

  • At 10:24 AM, Anonymous denise said…

    that's a sad goodbye.

  • At 10:28 AM, Anonymous dves said…

    but now grandma's back. she rules! :-)

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