Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Grandma's Game Hunting: Sly Cooper 3; Honor Among Thieves

Grandma enjoyed the first two Sly Cooper games enough to speak up at the mention of a third. It had a nifty sort of comic animation to the graphics that resembled Fear Effect to some degree, another one of Grandma's favorites that, sadly, has no raccoons.

It's not that Grandma enjoys stealing things; hell she's never even used a file sharing program to get emulated games. She just likes to see authority fall from the greatest of heights and then laugh when the miserable cowards scream into the night over their stolen ...documents. Or jewels or something. I don't know. Whatever needs taking, Grandma can do it in Raccoon form.

Sly 3 comes at an awkward time, however, in that there are sequels coming out to other similar franchises that can't be ignored. Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Aresenal really hit it off with Grandma after she beat it. Twice. She loved Jak 3 as much as the other Jak and Daxter games- and now this happens. One would think it would make for a great trifecta of awesome, but it's not always the case.

In gambling, if one is on a streak, one assumes that the chances of losing increase with each win. The same goes for gaming. If every game you've played recently fucking rocks, then chances are you're going to be stuck playing "187 Ride or Die" expecting the same results only to have your hopes and dreams ripped out of your head long enough for you to reconsider gaming at all for a couple days before you get your senses together.

Don't get Grandma wrong, she's not expecting Sly Cooper 3 to be on any level near 187 Ride or Die; she has too much respect for Sly's creators.

But one must be careful.

And so she hunts....


  • At 7:14 PM, Blogger Leci said…

    Meh. I don't care for the grahpics too much.

  • At 7:34 PM, Blogger Master Yoshi said…

    187 Ride Or Die?!? Fuck that shit! Grand Theft Auto San Andreas is the only game you could compare to it...and Grand Theft Auto San Andreas is THE best game ever made! Ratchet and Clank (in my opinion) is the best franchise of platform games ever created. Sly is kind of cool, but pales in comparison to anything by Insomniac. That's at least what I think.

  • At 8:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    eh, i always considered GTA3 and up some of the most over rated games in history, and i have a deep seated hatred for stealth games =P

  • At 8:43 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    master yoshi-
    I was being ironic, man. I think 187 Ride or Die might be one of the worst games ever made. Might be.

    azalee, the graphics are an acquired taste I suppose :) It's just what Grandma's into.

    Stephen- I think you're right; it was definitely overrated, however enjoyable. I completely understand your hatred of stealth games- and so can Grandma. Try watching her play Metal Gear once and awhile. "FUCK! THEY SAW ME!" is the most often used phrase.

  • At 7:55 AM, Blogger Master Yoshi said…


    I realise you were being ironic, with saying that Grandma has to much respect for Sly's creators. I just get carried away in talking about GTA. I was just wondering...you're an chronic gamer like me right? Is it just me or has Splinter Cell Chaos Theory ruined every other stealth game? I can't even play Metal Gear anymore!


    Dude, I don't mean to be rude, but you're on crack! While I agree that the GTA series got a lot of hype, I think that Rockstar North deserves it. They keep improving with each game. What other game lets you ramp a bike off of a mountain and then parachute on to the hood of someones car? What about being able to come across an old bag lady beating the shit out of some gun toting gangster? Or how about beating a cop to death with a double ended dildo!?! What more do you want in a game?

    Sorry...I got carried away again.

  • At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    Oh god, MGS1 is the only stealth game i've ever had the patience to beat and i swear to god i wanted to throw the TV out the window before i wa halfway through it.

    Master Yoshi-

    no offense taken, though i do have to say i said the game was horribly over rated, not that the game sucked ass. I personally can't stand playing GTA3, Vice City or San Andreas for longer than 20 minutes at a time. I just can't stand the gameplay, nor the lack of actual game. Just because i spent months and months on the first GTA back when it was first relased.

    While i will admit that the story is improving with each game, I still don't think it has a hell of a lot to offer. That, and 90% of the missions seem to blow donkey balls. The game just relies 100% on personality and no substance wahtsoever. Not to say the game isn't enjoyable for a lot of people, I just personally think it's criminal that it's gotten as big as it has.

  • At 7:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    er, the line "Just because i spent months and months on the first GTA back when it was first relased." was supposed to be "Not just because..."

  • At 11:30 PM, Blogger Master Yoshi said…

    Hey...Mr. grammar...er isn't even a word!

  • At 2:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    By the way, the A/B switch you mentioned a few posts ago, to switch two computers between one keyboard/monitor/mouse, is called a KVM switch. KVM as in Keyboard, Video, Mouse. Next time you go shopping, ask for a KVM switch. Even if they're clueless enough computer salespeople to have never heard of it, they can type the words in a computer and results will pop up.

  • At 9:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    HA! This group of comments is hilarious! I think Sly Cooper 3 looks awesome, except for the romance part. Blah, I hate romance. I really, really do. I almost burned the copy of the The Notebook I had rented out of curiosity. I'd like to get my hands on it, but I can see where Grandma is coming from.

    I can also understand the argument about GTA. I personally can't stand playing the game for more than 5 minutes, but dear lord, I can watch someone else play for HOURS. I also suck at video games, so I don't brng the best out of them like a seasoned played knows how to. That may be where the problem lies. (Remember, it took me TWO HOURS to beat the pod race in Lego Star Wars.)

    Either way, I can't wait to see what game Grandma chooses!

  • At 11:57 AM, Blogger Collin said…

    I'm about an hour into Indigo Prophecy now. So far the bulk of the reviews seem to be spot on. The story is fantastic, but the movement controls with relation to the camera changes is horrible. There are times when the view changes to a new cinematic angle and you are still having to push up to go to the left. A kid died in a hangar explosion becuase I spent too much time bouncing off of walls to be able to find him. I felt wonky after playing for that hour.

    That said, I loved the first Sly, though I felt it was too short. It was great while it lasted. I enjoyed the second Sly even more, and I look forward with interest to the third.

    Oh, and in your post you have "Jak and Dexter" instead of "Daxter". Sorry to nitpick typos.

  • At 9:42 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    master yoshi-
    I really liked Splinter Cell, actually :) but I see what you mean.

    I've called it an A/B switch, a KVM switch, "that thingy one uses to share stuff," etc.,... they just don't carry them. I have to order it online, I think.

    Grandma is all about the Sly Cooper, but I think she's as thinks the same way you do about romance in games.

    She's playing Indigo Prophecy now on the PS2. I think she's encountering some of the same stuff. And.... fixed it! Thanks for the heads up.

  • At 9:54 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    Sorry it took so long for an update everyone... I was in out of town Saturday. It was a long ass drive for us, so we all kind of crashed for 16 hours or so when we got back.

  • At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    about the game sly cooper
    i just love that game, its my faveorite out of everything and ive played a lot of games but that is 1 of the best games ever
    it has suspense, its a litle challenging
    Although i was didapointed in the end of the 3rd gane wen it just kinda ended like there was nuthin to it i thot the 3rd game was much too easy
    anyway does anyone no if their cuming out with a fourth one?

  • At 3:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I realize you're becoming strange, using praoclaimingDiablo III Gold that Granny must a lot esteem intended for Sly's creators. I just acquire overly enthusiastic inside speaking about GTA. I was simply just questioning...you might be an persistent player much like me correct? Could it be merely myself or possesses Splinter Cellular Disarray Principle destroyed almost every otherBillig Diablo 3 Gold stealth sport? I can't actually enjoy Metal Gear nowadays!


Post a Comment

<< Home