Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Grandma Just Wanted To Share...

She won her first tournament in World Championship Poker on XBox Live. She celebrated a good long while. Maybe too long.

"YAY! I WON! I won my first tournament! You know I'm starting to like playing online! I still like single player games the most, but there's something too this! This is cool, I beat like 60-some people and came in first place. It took forever! But I did it, I showed that one loud kid that was screaming into the headset, man- I SHOWED HIM! WOO HOO!!!!"

[a couple clicks of the controller later]

"What?! What the FUCK?? IT SAYS I LOST! It's not showing up! IT'S NOT FUCKING SHOWING UP!! NO FAIR!!! That's not cool! What's the deal? [reads] ...Number of tournaments won- ZERO. That's fucking bullshit, THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT. Where's the money I won? THERE'S NO MONEY! Son of a BITCH!!! Fuck this game. FUCK IT!"

Grandma just wanted to let you know; first that World Championship Poker, despite the dumb graphics is a really great game online, with a big community and fun gameplay, and second: it's the worst game in the history of computers, and to "throw up on it" if you see it in stores, "fuck this game."

I think it hit a nerve.


  • At 8:36 AM, Blogger Leci said…

    Maybe it will just take a while to register that she won...?

  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger DDREEK said…

    maybe azalee is right ... oooorr... it's a huge government conspericy headed by jack thompson to try to rid the world of Old Grandma Hardcore so he can start to "clenze the world of the infections brutality and smut known as the gameing world" and take over the world... wheoo *panting heavaly* or she might have made a mistake. anyone of them is possible.

    game on

  • At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yea im pretty sure it just takes a while to register your win. I know I was really pissed off with Battlefield 2 when my first 3 medals won in one game didnt show up. I let the computer understand it was a fucking piece of shit until it finally came up about 15 minutes later.

  • At 2:19 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    Oh man. I hate to throw up. I better avoid passing this in stores.

    Hopefully it is just a delay and her win will be credited. Has she stopped playing now, or does she still give it a go?

  • At 2:21 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    She still plays. She just gets ...um, "frustrated" sometimes, if you know what I mean.

    I hope it shows up for her as well, because I don't want to hear about "that fucking thing with WCP" anymore. :)

  • At 2:43 PM, Blogger SweetHatred said…

    Cook Forest here we come! Have you ever been to Thursdays in Akron? By the music you put to your videos, it seems like you would like it there.

  • At 2:52 PM, Blogger Jesse said…

    You know why I like to play san andreas? Because everytime I get frustrated or some car runs me over, I have the means to blow them up.

    Therfore alleviating my frustration.

    This poker game should talk a cue from GTA and westerns, where if you loose, you can start a crazy bar fight and throw someone through a window...

  • At 3:55 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    No, I've never been. Everything south of Rockside Rd. scares the shit out of me. :) What sort of music do they play?

    Exactly! Taking out one's frustration on a game is an excellent catharsis that hasn't been explored enough. Just for that, I'm going to write a peer-reviewed paper "On Grandmas and Gaming." Just you wait, man; I'll be in the journals and everything!

  • At 4:08 PM, Blogger Dmoneycrunk said…

    Hey I heared that the game was sh*t. By the way will she get the rev. Cause When she does I want to play her at some ssb. DX But she will problany Kick my a** lol.

  • At 1:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Yes i am sure itDiablo III items merely requires a while to join up to the earn. I'm sure I'd been definitely pissed served by Battle ground 3 when my own initially Three medals won a single game did not make an appearance. We allow pc understand it was obviously a banging little bit of spunk rightDiablo 3 Gold kaufen up until that lastly emerged about Quarter-hour in the future.


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