Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Grandma Destroyed The Indigo Prophecy

Grandma finished her game this morning, just in time to return it to Hollywood Video and rent "The Ring Two" and "Monster In Law;" both horrific movies in their own way. I knew Grandma would have had to at least form a final opinion of the game, after a few days of standing in between "this is a great game" and "what the hell am I even doing..." I talked with her as she moved her controller around her head, navigating the puzzles of Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem.

All that was left of her Indigo Prophecy experience was a few printed pages of GameFaqs.com guides, angrily crumpled and set aside. This seemed odd to me, because Grandma had paced through the game in a fairly linear sort of way- and it didn't seem like a game where she would need a guide- just... go where the characters say they need to go; mash some buttons; next scene. [Before anyone sends me more e-mail saying "you didn't GET Indigo Prophecy, god dammit! It's not SIMON, motherfucker- It's got DEPTH," know this: Grandma sort of dug Indigo Prophecy, she wouldn't have played it through if she didn't. If Grandma doesn't like a game at all, she'll let you know right away- ESPECIALLY if it's rented; because if you return it early, you get a coupon!]

I'll try to give Grandma's recount of the ending without giving away too much for those who have not played yet:

"That game fell flat on it's ass- it was just starting to get really good; ...you remember that girl at the beginning he saw after he murdered that dude? Well she [redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses] and then that cop was [redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses] so he's left standing there with [redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses] girl! And then he says [redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses-redacted to appease the masses] and that's the fucking ending! That was it! I looked at Kenny and I said 'That's it? THAT's the GOOD ending?' I couldn't believe it! I mean, you wait for all that, and then THAT'S the god damn ending, and that's the BEST ending according to the guides I found online. I guess there were WORSE ones, if you can believe that. I had to look it up to be sure. ....It fucking SUCKED."

Grandma told me not to reveal too much to you guys, which makes me think she still sort of ...recommends it, I suppose. It's a love-hate relationship not seen since Milon's Secret Castle. If Indigo Prophecy is anything like one of those "you decide the end!" young adult novellas we were forced to buy from Book Fairs in elementary school, it was at least compelling enough to stay for the epilogue. This may be a more harsh "Grandma Critique" than the game deserves, but understand that Grandma's last adventure anywhere near this type of structure was Jade Empire and Knights of the Old Republic II before that, so Grandma has a certain concept of "closure" that she feels wasn't achieved in Indigo Prophecy. Perhaps if she had not felt the pain of the falling to the Dark Side (or more recently, the way of the Closed Fist) the ending would have held her more.

Or maybe she's reading too much Dean Koontz.

Either way, blame it on exhaustion, blame it on circumstance, I was really hoping she would have enjoyed this one- alas; it wasn't a match made in the frozen streets of New York; not unlike the mess Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan got themselves into over a radio show and a little boy's call- only this time with more ritualistic murder.

Not much more, but more.

--Grandma's playing Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem for the GameCube; more updates on this and more on the way! Thanks folks!--


  • At 10:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ah, Choose Your Own Adventure books.. always a love/hate relationship. i would love to rent the game except no rental place in my town carries it. it's times like these that i really start to consider gamefly.com

  • At 11:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    mookers, try the import version instead- called Fahrenheit, it isn't as lamed out as Indigo Prophecy had to be to be sold in America.

    go OGHC! You are gonna LOVE The Suffering TTB!

  • At 11:12 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    I don't know if this helps at all, I still haven't finished it though my son has – I haven't even gotten back to it in fact, but I recall seeing something about how this is "episode 1" or some such. Meaning the storyline should continue ala Shenmue. Again, I haven't seen any of the endings, so I don't know for sure.

    I hope she gets more enjoyment out of Eternal Darkness.

  • At 1:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    LMAO - Choose your own adventure books at elementary school book fairs.... what a memory

    nothin like some good ole dean koontz though - just finished Cold Fire, finally...after buying it some 15 years ago

  • At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Damn. I was hoping she'd like this one :)

  • At 2:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Or perhaps she's right, and the ending is universally regarded as disappointing.

  • At 11:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh man, Fahrenheit was intense for that small bit of gaming that was edited out for us U.S. gamers. Wow. The ending was definitely a 'wtf moment' though. I'm all for another title in the same style though.

  • At 3:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    No matter what, blame this upon weariness, pin the consequence on the idea aboutD3 Items circumstance, I'd been truly expecting she'd have got enjoyed reading this one- sorry to say; it was not a complement manufactured in the actual iced streets of the latest You are able to; similar to this wreck He Hanks and Megabites He bought their selves directly into over the radio demonstrate and also a very Guild Wars 2 Itemslittle boy's call- only these times with additional ritualistic hard.


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