Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Monday Night Grandma Blogging: Ask Grandma Hardcore #3; Open Forum!

--Okay! Mom, Grandma and I are playing Katamari Damacy and the forum is open for your questions; same format as previous Ask Grandma Hardcore except you can respond to each other as well as ask us questions if you like. We'll answer them as they come... Ask away!!--


  • At 7:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    So, when's the David Letterman appearance? Surely he must of heard of you by now!

  • At 7:30 PM, Blogger Ozark said…

    Does Grandma have the same feeling of frustration on the Taurus star when you are working on getting the ball big enough to pick up a huge cow and you accidentally roll over a bottle of milk?


  • At 7:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Does Grandma like Animal Crossing or is it not her style?

  • At 7:43 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    Grandma watches Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel and the bunch- but we doubt they've ever heard of Grandma. She ain't THAT big.

    Oh Christ, not just the Taurus but the BEAR as well. We keep picking up "cow vending machines" and getting REALLY pissed off.

    She hasn't played Animal Crossing, but she's always looking for ways to fill out the GameCube collection of great games. I think she would get into it actually, she digs life-simulation games from time to time.

  • At 7:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    grandma on a island. She can bring 1 person, 1 console (and tv etc..), 1 game, 1 book, 1 website (hush, I know it's stupid), 1 movie, 1 book and 1 snack.

    What is the square root of 7?
    (but really, what of what would she bring).

    We love you!! game on.

  • At 7:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Has Grandma ever tried out Harvest Moon? If so, has she tried the new Harvest Moon for girl versions?

  • At 8:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I got the first Q in after the last Q&A closed, so I'll paste it again:

    Does grandma get irritated with the crappy voice acting in some games like Onimusha, almost anything Capcom, and most of the Koei stuff? I'm sure she has comments about the Resident Evil. Show her www.audioatrocities.com. I bet she drops a brick laughing at the crappy video game voice acting they have samples of there.

    Has she played games like The Sims and Rollercoaster Tycoon? Seems like she could take out some frustration by making a Sims physical therapist and them torturing it.

    If Letterman and Leno aren't calling yet, they will- your grandma rocks.

  • At 8:24 PM, Blogger Brinstar said…

    Can Grandma make the North Star? I have never got it before.

  • At 8:28 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    Alrighty: Oh, you're making her choose... "I'd take Tim..."
    Mom & Rest of Family "Hey!!! Wait! What about us?"
    Grandma - "Shut up, he helps me with games sometimes...um....Playstation 2; Shit....Which was the Final Fantasy with Emerald and Ruby, that was Seven right?"
    Me - "yeah, seven- but eight was better..."
    Grandma - "I'd bring Final Fantasy Seven.... movie? The original psycho. Wait, if I'm on an island, how the hell am I going to play these things? ...oh shit, too many books....IT maybe? DaVinci Code? Anne Rice, shit I don't know.... ...snack? Chocolate. Website? Probably GameFAQs"
    me - "You know they haven't written any articles about you or anything at GameSpot..."
    Grandma - "Shut up, I use them for strategy guides and stuff..."
    me - "what's the square root of 7?"
    Grandma - "49"
    me - "no, the square ROOT"
    Grandma - "it's seven, seven doesn't have an even square root, i'd need a calculator...."

    I know she's played Harvest Moon, but she hasn't played the "for girls version"

    Grandma - "Ah!! It's 2.645713!"
    me - "You cheated, you used a calculator"

  • At 8:35 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    She's "played" the Sims, Roller Coaster Tycoon, and Civilization; if by "play" you mean obsess over night and day. :)

  • At 8:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grandma- you are my HERO.

    Does Grandma like games made from TV shows like CSI or Alias?
    If she could make her own video game, what kind of game would it be and what would she call it?
    And is she any good at Unreal Championship for Xbox? I bet I could beat her at it :)

  • At 9:10 PM, Blogger Alice Lee said…

    I'm curious if she has an opinion on the transition over time from games that gave a static amount of lives and when you're out, you're done, to adding save points, to letting you continue from wherever you died/stopped without forcing you to the beginning again... I don't know that games have become easier as a result (there are other factors) but it's a different dynamic to play Super Mario Bros 3 and run out of lives in world 9 than it is to play something where you can keep continuing no matter what.

    Oh yeah, and has she played Beyond Good and Evil, and if so what did she think?

  • At 9:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Whoo for open forum!

    Anyway, I was curious what her favorite genre of games is, and why.

    Also, does she have any handheld systems? If yes, why, if not, Why not?

    And what are her opinions of the next-gen consoles? (Just a quick summary would suffice.)

  • At 9:39 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    Here we go-

    "I've played CSI for the PC; but for the most part, games based on TV shows don't work.... well I guess that's not true- you think of Ahh! Real Monsters or a couple of the Simpsons ports, like the arcade game or the Crazi Taxi thing... they seem okay. ...I have no idea what kind of game I would make! I can't even think of... no... I have no idea!! I've played Unreal Tournament with Tim on the PC, but not on the Xbox, not yet."

    "Jesus, that's a good point. um..... Well, in Fatal Frame, the first one, I ran out of film in the last room so I couldn't beat the game. That was a huge frustration- but you still need to prepare for later. I think there is something to be said for the difficulty of games with save points, but with memory cards.... I don't know! I haven't played Beyond Good and Evil yet..."
    me - [shows her some screenshots from the website]
    Grandma - "That's cool! She looks like the chick from Fear Effect! I'm going to check that out!"

    "I guess RPGS, only because the longer games adds so much to the experience. It's like participating in a book; I mean- look at Jade Empire; you could go either way it was Closed Fist or... Open Fist?"
    me - "Open Palm I think"
    "Yeah, and that changed the whole story. I did buy a DS recently when I went in for surgery, played some Zelda and some Mario 64; but my hands don't really handle well with the DS- the PSP is a bit bigger, I want to try that. I remember the Game Gear!! Sonic was ...fucking HARD for some reason; and the batteries kept dying on me- that's the other thing- I play too much; so it would have to be rechargable. The next-gen consoles? Oh I can't wait. All three of them look really cool. There are so many games for the 360 that look gorgeous, and the PS3 as well; and the Revolution has a new Mario! I can't wait!"

  • At 9:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    least favorite gaming moment?

  • At 9:44 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    "ummm.....Damn.......Ah. Alone in the Dark. Remember that? HATED that game for some reason.

  • At 10:24 PM, Blogger Alice Lee said…

    Awesome! Beyond Good and Evil was a great game, that got a lot of good reviews, but was overshadowed by Prince of Persia (the first newer one) at the time, and so it got no attention at all. Don't let the bargin bin price fool you!

  • At 10:25 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    She should love Beyond Good & Evil. I bought it three days before they dropped the price to $20. It's a fantastic and beautiful game that didn't get enough love.

    Here's a couple of questions: You mentioned the Simpsons game that played like Crazy Taxi. Has she tried "The Simpsons Hit & Run"? It's a open exploration/car jacking game like GTA only with a lot more humor and a lot less killing.

    She says she enjoys RPGs. Has she played "Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind" on the XBox? If not it's VERY large with a lot of customization and choices to make. It's almost too large. And as fun as most of it is, the combat is horrible.

    And last, is there a game that is due to come out in the next few months on any of the existing systems or anything that is supposed to launch with the 360 that she considers a "must have"?

  • At 10:38 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    Shit, Grandma's all about the Bargin Bin. :)

    I'll leave the Morrowind question for tommorow (she fell asleep) so she can answer that better than me trying to ramble on about what I think she's played. If it's as big as you say, and she hasn't played it I'll buy it for her this week. She loves that stuff, man. I know she's played The Simpson's arcade game that has long sat at a movie theater in Kent, and the one she mentioned; but if that wasn't Hit and Run, she hasn't played it yet.

    I know I'm buying Shadow of Colossus; Fatal Frame 3, and Advent Children, and Grandma tends to like many of the same games I do; but again, we'll post tommorow so she can answer direct.

    --That's it for the East Coast...; West Coast and International go ahead and post on the thread now and we'll answer your questions tomorrow, or if you like- go ahead and talk amongst yourselves, it's an open forum with a very unconscious moderator. Goodnight everybody! Thanks for the questions!--

  • At 10:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi! I showed my Grandma this site and she loves it. She can beat me in any videogame any day. She is a Nintendo fan, and plays all those adventure games like Zelda, Mario RPG, and Prince of Persia.

    I was wondering if Grandma liked handheld games so she can take her gaming antics with her everywhere. If so, whats her favorite handheld game/games?

  • At 10:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And oh ya, Morrowind rocks. Think of it like an online game like World of Warcraft, except with computers.

  • At 12:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What does Grandma think of the next generation consoles coming out?

  • At 12:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Did your Grandma ever play Kingdom Hearts? Is she looking forward to KHII? Advent Children?

  • At 7:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    gamefaqs is one of her favorites? What's her user name? Or does she not really post often?

  • At 8:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I must see grandma play Dance Dance Revolution. Or at least you.

  • At 9:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Did grandma ever play battle realms? if she did..what ddi she think o it?


  • At 12:14 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…


    Nope, she hasn't played Morrowind. No she hasn't played Simpsons Hit and Run, but she's pretty sure her son Mark has it.

    She did play a bit of game gear and some DS, but for the most part they were too small for her. We're going to look into getting a PSP.

    If Grandma has to wait any longer then necessary for the next gen consoles, she may go on a rampage of unimaginable horror.

    oh yeah! She's played Kingdom Hearts and really liked it. She's going to get the next one as well, but Advent Children is a much bigger deal here.

    GameFAQS? Grandma doesn't really post ever. She does a search for the game she's stuck on and chooses the walkthrough with the biggest file size. (...I know, it's just what she does...) then she does a search on that file for the area where she's stuck, and becomes unstuck. It's sort of like her GameGenie.

    Grandma can't really move that quick :) I suck at DDR and watching me play it has caused others to hate a game they once adored. I'm that bad.

    She says she didn't play battle realms yet.

  • At 12:15 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    --Thanks for the questions everybody!! Same time and place next week!! Oh do we have a suprise for you...--

  • At 1:48 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    Then you really should get Morrowind for her. I recommend getting the "Game of the Year" edition since it has extra content. I've seen it used around here for $9.99. Just talking about it last night was making me want to dig it back up and start a new character.

  • At 6:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    In the North Star Katamari level... The pine trees at the top of the hill should be your target size. Once you're able to pick those up you're getting really close.

    And I HATE those cow levels.... And those milk jugs are so small...

  • At 4:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    suprise?! :D

  • At 5:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi grandma hardcore! Have you thought of starting a review section on the blog? Because it seems to me that her taste and opinions about games are interesting.

    Also, if she likes metal gear solid 1 and 2, get her Metal gear solid 3: Snake Eater! In term of history it's better than "Sons of Liberty"(although I liked the philosophy-oriented story line in that one), in par with the first metal gear solid. In terms of graphic, it's beautifull, Snake and all have such life, you'll think of them as real people. In terms of gameplay, it's a lot more varied and advanced!

  • At 2:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Offers she performed Guild Wars 2 Gemsgames like The Sim cards and also Coaster Magnate? May seem like your woman could take away a number of annoyance by causing a Sim cardsGW2 Cd key physical therapist in addition to all of them torturing the item.


Post a Comment

<< Home