Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Grandma Versus World Championship Poker

Grandma is in between games at the moment. She has always resisted the temptation to go after the casino simulators; really- it isn't the same as a good FPS. Now she can play poker on XBox Live. World Championship Poker lets you create a character in a Sims sort of way that creates a pretty fair depiction of Grandma. The high pitch pleasant voice the quips her character makes don't exactly fit, however.

Character - "I fold! Tee hee!"
Grandma - "I don't have SHIT. Fuck it."

Character - "All in!"
Grandma - "I'm not letting you buy me out, you fucker."

Apparently one of the online game types allow people to enter games randomly when someone leaves, so the game could theoretically go on forever. After the initial "where the hell did these people come from?" Grandma makes her own commentary on their fashion.
"Look at this guy!!"
"What the hell? Tim! Check out this chick!! HA!!!"

I swear to god, if I hear "player checks.....player checks.....player checks....." one more time, the speakers will meet an untimely end at the hands of a late night session with a high powered magnet. We're going to get some new games later, oh yes. It's going to be today.

--More updates coming today!--


  • At 11:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I was surfing the web at my friend's house while he played GTA to show some of my friends your site. I get to the site and I'm looking at the title at the top and he just happens to turn around and caught off gaurd he yells, "What the hell are you looking at?!" Haha, without saying a word I clicked on the last video and disgust turned to laughter.

  • At 12:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    pssst. get God of War. it's extremely addictive.

  • At 1:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You guys should come to the J Allard chatroom meeting, haha, that would be awesome. He's answering people's questions about the 360 apparently.


  • At 1:44 PM, Blogger Ozark said…

    agreeing with mookers... God of War.. one of my fav games of all time.

  • At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Have you guys looked at Wil Wheaton's site? He's seriously into poker as well. (I hear he also has a thing for Star Trek, for some reason. ;-) ) http://www.wilwheaton.net

  • At 3:38 PM, Blogger DY357LX said…

    What type of Poker is played on the XBox Live option? Texas Hold 'em?

  • At 4:08 PM, Blogger CtrlAltDelete said…

    Brandon- those are exactly the kind of stories I love to hear, man. It's somewhat voyeristic to go into messageboards and see what people think of Grandma so I tend not to do it too much. But when we get an e-mail or a comment about people sitting around laughing with Grandma at Conker or the like, it brings a wink to my eye and gives an angel her wings. Or something. It's good, nonetheless.

    Man, we both REALLY want to play God of War; Geist, and a couple others right now- (God of War especially) but it's still $50 in the used section. We'll rent it in the upcoming weeks, I assure you. It WILL happen. It looks like a sweet game.

    Of course we've seen Will Wheaton's site! We Fark! Silly! :)

    There are a bunch of different types of poker on this game- she tends to play Texas Hold'em and Five Card Stud, but there are a few others as well. She hasn't had the opportunity to try out the different games available like Stacked and compare them, but it was $19, so ...whatareyougonnado, you know?

  • At 3:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think you have a wonderful blog :) I Love Texas hold'em to. Stop by my blog and post any tips that may be helpful.


  • At 1:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Unsurprisingly Buy Diablo 3 gold among the activity forms let people to enter online games randomly when someone actually leaves, therefore the video game could the theory is that embark on once and for all. As soon as the 1st "where the a Billig Gw2 Gold nightmare performed they will originate from?Inches

  • At 2:19 AM, Blogger Musa Kocaman said…

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