Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Grandma Is Taking Over

Okay, here's what's going down here in Cleveland. My family is going camping. I don't mean park the RV by a water / electric hookup and go swimming at the motel camping; I mean PRIMITIVE camping; hiking out into the middle of one of the largest national forests in the country with nothing but a tarp, a butter knife and some sunglasses, and returning in six days only to find toilets as the greatest invention of all time since the Dual Shock. I fucking love camping. It's the only vacation that costs practically nothing while simultaneously rocking me to my nature roots. Bears, raccoons, documentary film students all out in the open wild together as part of nature.

We leave tomorrow morning, and return Saturday. Grandma isn't going because she has other stuff planned; also the knee replacement might hinder the Class 4 Rapids. We don't want to leave you folks hanging, though- so here's what we're doing: I'm typing up six daily entries about my memories of Grandma playing specific games, each day a different game. Grandma ha
s agreed to publish the saved draft posts each day until I get back- so you guys get daily entries to read about Grandma, Grandma gets to learn all about the fascinating world of FTP, and I get to, quite literally, shit in the woods.

Grandma is also going to monitor the donations on paypal to make sure it doe
sn't go over our goal- we don't want to take more money than we need to get the camera, including the progress over at the Ebay auction of the broken camera and the signed copy of Fatal Frame II, which is going extremely well! We won't be able to have the progress meter at the side page update, only because it's actually just a really lame ".gif" I update each time a new donation comes in our inbox, and Grandma and Photoshop have exchanged harsh words in the past. I'll try to get Grandma to include the donation progress in the daily posts, and if necessary put up a big ol' post saying when the goal has been reached.

This also means we won't be able to answer any e-mails until Saturday when we get in; so if you leave comments or ask questions and no one replies, it's only because there is nobody here. Until Saturday. We get back on Saturday. The last day of the week, that is. Saturday. Grandma will read your comments (she always does) but no one will be here to answer.

If you guys have any questions or if any of you crazy media people need to contact us; e-mail us before 10:00am EST on Sunday; otherwise e-mail us next Saturday. August 20th. That's when we will be back. Maybe by then the donation thingy will wrap up; the Ebay Auction will end, we'll go pick up a new game and the camera and bring you some fresh The Grandma versus The Game ass-kicking action. Fuck yeah!

Just so we're clear- From Sunday, August 14th to Friday, August 19th: six prepared daily posts will be published but no one will be here to answer e-mails or comments until Saturday. Just think of the comments section on these days to be open forums each. Somebody will forget, and that's cool- they probably won't have seen this post; we forgive you already. If something goes wrong and the site just sort of sits there for some reason, let's say- Grandma spilling homemade peanut butter onto the motherboard, forgive us- everything will be better on Saturday. I just hope you rack in a lot of gaming hours while I'm schleping it off the grid. Kill something for me, man. Do it for the children.

--Thanks everybody!! I can't wait to come back to keep posting for ya! Keep coming this week for daily posts- topic: Shitty Memories of Awesome Gaming Grandma Shit (SMAGGS), a six part series. I'll see you all on Saturday, August 20th.--


  • At 9:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well Grandma, I guess it's just you and us. Game on!

  • At 11:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    so uh, when you will be back?


    See ya Sat. Have fun!

  • At 2:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Have a great trip! I'm new here. I was wondering if Grandma has played Leisure Suit Larry? I'll admit that it's not very challenging, but I loved this game because it is so funny! I could see Grandma laughing her ass off at this game like I did. It's a good break from the horror games.

  • At 8:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grandma, are you alright...or are you still gaming? You didn`t post for today yet and I was concerned! LUV ya! ZELDA

  • At 11:43 AM, Blogger Becky said…

    Camping is great. I love to camp, too. I just got back from camping at the Grand Canyon.

  • At 7:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grandma, I love you. You are hilarious. I wish my grandma was like you. But she can't play video games six feet under. I want to be just like you when I get old Grandma! :DD

  • At 1:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grandma, I adore buy D3 Gold a person. You're entertaining. If only the mom had been as you. But she cannot engage in online games half a dozen ft within. I wish to always be like you when I find Guild Wars 2 Gold aged Mom! :DD


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