Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Grandma Is All The Way Live!

DHL woke me up this morning, in one of the strangest meetings with a delivery person since we ordered an ashtray shaped like a human skull.

So the lady in the bright yellow hornet-like DHL suit bangs on the door, holding a small package like it contains Gwyneth Paltrow's head. She asks her question very carefully, so as not to mispronounce the words like she's reciting some dreaded message for the family of the accused.

"Hell-o; is Grand-ma Hard-Core here?"

"Um... Yes, I'm her grandson." She hands me the package and looks in my eyes as if to say "I know you do horrible things behind those doors. HORRIBLE THINGS!!"Yay! It's from Microsoft! TriXie over at XBox Live is a big fan of Grandma and sent her a starter kit. And a t-shirt and stuff! Hooray! Oh but here's the best part:
Big o'l comfy headset with MajorNelson toppad and a beautiful mic so grandma's obscenities will be unimpeded by noise and irregular clippage! Fuck yeah! Thanks Trix!

So now we have an XBox Live account. You may get to meet Grandma on the field of battle, and probably kick her ass at first because she's not used to playing online. Her gamertag?


Just so you all know who you're up against. Look for us!

--Here's a reminder from the MTV article- It's true Grandma's hands start to hurt after playing most FPS games, so if the game is SplinterCell Chaos Theory; Halo 2; or Ghost Recon, you're probably encountering me, I'd say- 6 times out of 10. If it's Outlaw Golf; Crimson Skies; or MechAssault; it's probably Grandma. We're both on Conker and some others; but you can tell- at least this week while she's getting used to it; that her headset won't be voice enabled. (She doesn't want to scare anyone yet) More updates on the way!--


  • At 1:53 PM, Blogger Collin said…

    That's awesome! Let us know what she thinks of the headset. When I play live I almost never talk. I'm just not a chatty gamer. My son makes up for me though.

    I wouldn't think that Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory would bother her hands as much since it's more stealth than run & gun.

  • At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    woot! :D

  • At 3:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Cool. My gamertag is WearYourPanties so when you see me don't be afraid to add. ;)

  • At 3:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    time to dust off Mechassault.. :)

  • At 3:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Awesome. That is so cool.

  • At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grandma Hardcore really was sort of a poor choice of a name... awesome, though, that she's getting free stuff ^_^

  • At 7:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That's so awesome. My gamertag is silver62, hope to see Grandma (and even you, Tim) around :D

  • At 2:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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