Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Video #5: Conker; A Timed Level

She's been at this thing for a few hours straight now. Just after therapy this morning she turned it on in a frustrating quest to find the $100 she missed somewhere in the game (which she needs to continue.) That covers a lot of ground. If you're not familiar with Conker's Bad Fur Day; there is a section in the game where you must get drunk and piss on a rock-creature to roll him to an appropriate area. From what Grandma was shouting, I assumed it was timed; and she loves time-sensitive speed portions of games about as she likes wasting her life on "stupid fucking water levels."

Here you go:

[WMV; 01:30; 3.38mb]


--We love to comments and e-mails! Coming soon; S&M Bondage has a friend name rehabilitative therapy; hate-mail grab bag #1; Video #6; etc.,...--


  • At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Another great video, but please please please let us paypal you a few bucks to get a real Mini-DV camera instead of a webcam! There wouldn't be any blurring and the framerate would look much better. Grandma deserves it!

    Does grandma get irritated with the crappy voice acting in some games like Onimusha, almost anything Capcom, and most of the Koei stuff? I'm sure she has comments about the Resident Evil. Show her www.audioatrocities.com. I bet she drops a brick laughing at the crappy video game voice acting they have samples of there.

    p.s. there's a tag issue that makes this update not show up right in my IE6. I think it's in the empty div tag just before the body text. If I store it locally and take that out, it displays fine. If not, the update is inviso-text I have to highlight to read.

  • At 5:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Thats the breaks.

  • At 6:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Gawd I hate timed "challenges" they suck.

    In my wildest dreams some genius game developer hires OGHC as a consultant and we enter a golden age of gaming. I would buy any game with the OGHC seal of approval.

  • At 12:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Haha, I laughed when she was like, "17.... 16..."

  • At 4:20 AM, Blogger Aziz said…

    Between "Immature" and "Hunting Bears," you've got some of the most amazing artists of recent musical history on lockdown. Tasty. Thanks for making t3h intarw3bz that much more bearable!

  • At 11:27 AM, Blogger Dervish said…


    How would you two like to have a go at our radio station?

    I'm thinking an On Air interview aka battle of gaming wits with our hosts from Epileptic Gaming (example below).

    Let me know what you think, you can reach me at:


    The following is an episode of EG:


    and of course our site:


    - sincerely,

    Dervish, producer, Inside the Game

  • At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's not really timed, so much as that he runs out of piss. Then he's got a hangover and you can't steer him for shit, then you have to somehow get him to stagger over to where the alka-seltzer is. Royal pain if you can't get the angle just right on the stream, so to speak.

    Tell your grandma that I feel her pain!

  • At 3:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dedicated to Cheap diablo 3 Goldstatistics involving hate, I was inquisitive as to what Granny mentions Mr. Interface Thompson, your Meaning CrusaderGW2 Gold to ruin 'evil' videogames.


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