Electronic Gaming Monthly names Grandma "Gamer of The Year" for 2005!!

Electronic Gaming Monthly spoke with Grandma in early January, and to be honest the two of us weren't exactly sure what sort of article would come from the interview until recently. February brought with it frequent trips to Borders; eyeing the gaming mag section with a shifty gaze in all directions, searching for the trademark emo-glasses and dangling employee badges as she decided if it would be worth the risk to carefully extract the magazine from it's protective jacket to see if she was inside.

Her subscription to EGM provides a teasing frustration; her copy usually arrives in our mailbox a couple weeks after it's initial availability at the local racks. To be completely honest, she was probably more excited about the cover story of this month's issue than she was for the recognition.

What can I say, she's a Square-Enix fan!

Once you make your way to Page 89, the first thing you see is a big ol' tribute to one of our favorite people: David Jaffe, who won the award for Developer of the Year. Congratulations, David! You deserve it you God of War making, VGA winning, George Clooney of DICE crazy motherfucker, you! Congress is proud of you. The AMERICAN PEOPLE are proud of you. GRANDMA is proud of you. Now go make more games. You've had your fun; GET THE FUCK BACK TO WORK.



This image is insanely surreal to Grandma. Imagine that first time back in the 80's when you wrote Nintendo Power and drew a crayon picture of Link smoting a stamp on the envelope only to find three months later they have PUBLISHED it for all to see; only this is so much better. It has all the important elements that qualify it as "awesome:"

1) Grandma looking all snazzy in her Sega "Gamer" shirt, a gift from MTV.

2) She's holding a 360 controller.

3) Stacks and stacks of games surround her not unlike the columns of golden coin resting on the desk of Scrooge McDuck.

4) Electronic Fucking Gaming Fucking Monthly!! FUCK!

5) I've always liked the number 89.

The article is a bit dated, as it still portrays Grandma as pining for an XBox 360. When Crispen interviewed her, she was overlooking all of Manhattan in a conference room in the Viacom Building. 15 minutes later she was a single floor above Time's Square on the set of TRL meeting her XBox 360 for the very first time in a touching ritual of interpretive dance that involved much jumping and hugging. Other than that, when you turn the page, you have to stare at Jack Thompson yet again. Grandma is having some sort of bad luck where Thompson's name is mentioned soon after her own in the press.

That's alright. If you thought that was impressive, check out yesterday's article in Cleveland's "The Plain Dealer":


Game on.