The Scream Heard 'Round The Hospital

Picture a hospital. Imagine you are walking through the cold, sterile hallways of some cardiovascular ward passing someone carrying flowers to someone in the maternity level upstairs who just had a baby; someone else talking to their family in hushed voices so as not to wake the kid with a broken leg in the bed next to theirs; some white coated grad-student walking quickly for rounds in the emergency room with some intimidating doctor who thinks the show ER was real and Michael Chrichton is a screenwriting god; you pass some other folks going to the hospital's chapel for some kind of relief, some kind of solace as their best friend is wheeled, bed and all, into an awaiting O.R. for surgery; some kid playing with abandoned electrical scooters being chastised by her mother for "disturbing the peace." You are calm, everything is clean, and other than the occasional page from the loudspeakers for a surgeon who spent a little too much time in the cafeteria, everything is quiet.

Then you hear it. You hear the scream.


Grandma has the newest edition of one of her favorite magazines, EGM, Electronic Gaming Monthly. I made sure she had at least something to read in that god-awful place, and the issue came just in time. On its cover this month is a picture of Cloud from Advent Children and the headline underneath reads something like "Final Fantasy XII, The Definitive Report." Apparently, they knew that Square Enix has oodles of material coming up and they needed a big story. They found it in the rumors behind the delays; the story of Advent Children and Dirge of Cerberus and a possible but unlikely version of FFVII for the PS3.

In the copy of one of these stories they mention the release date for Dirge of Cerberus, the shooter staring Vincent and friends after the destruction of Midgar.

That release date is not this fall.


I wasn't there when it happened, so like you I can only imagine. I can guess it was a long, pronounced assault from the guttural cries of some ancient animal from which Grandma evolved, echoing off the long hallways and glass doors of the hospital.

Specifically I think it went something like:

"MOTHER FUCKERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


--Again, THANK YOU for the support everybody, Grandma needs it right now. She had an ultrasound of her heart and neck this morning, along with a big ol' shot of Cumidan (a blood thinner) into her stomach. Thank fucking Christ I wasn't there for that one. As Grandma put it- "Meh... It wasn't so bad." Fucking A it wasn't Grandma. I wasn't at your bedside to pass out. Rock on! Thanks everybody!!--

--Update--
I went to see Grandma again tonight. The hospital doesn't have WiFi so I went and printed Grandma's fan mail and "get well" messages :) She read the articles you sent, the comments you left, everything but the animated e-cards (she'll see those when she gets home).

So far, the news is she's staying again tonight. They ruled out blood clot and are moving back towards the heart after an abnormal stress test result. They said not to worry, no big deal; but I trust doctors as far as I can throw them, and that's just before it would reach second base anyway, so ...the fuck good is that? Here's what they're doing tomorrow: They make a small cut into her leg, then very carefully shove a probe into her artery and up to the heart to check shit out. Most of you know about that sort of catheter so I'll leave the description at that. Bottom line, Grandma HATES to have this done, and she let the doctor know it in her own special way. I was there :) After speaking with the doctor there today, I think she's going to be alright. She'll be set to go back to gaming with more energy and possibly the organs of a more ferocious beast if we pay extra, I'm hoping baboon.

It's like you guys said. Piss and Vinegar, man.
Piss and Vinegar.