Grandma Is Quite Angry With The Prince of Persia

Grandma has long wanted to try the Prince of Persia series after reading the reviews. She was really into Devil May Cry because killing people with swords is far superior than say, coldly sniping them from afar. Also, she enjoyed audibly congratulating herself for a good combo; for example she would whisper "Yeah, ...Stylish" in her best Issac Hayes impersonation; or scream wildly at the television "AWESOME, ASSHOLE!!" ...so I thought she'd probably really enjoy this game. Also, it's Ubisoft, so... yeah.

But there is no joy in Mudville, tonight; at least not until she gets the hang of this shit.

Here are some snippits from Grandma's delve into the world of shirtless Persian men with a taste for sandy blood:


"Where the hell do I go?"

"This game needs a fucking map."

[figures out that pressing left and right repeatedly while hugging a wall makes the Prince appear to dance] HAAAHHAHAHAHA!!!! Look at him!! Look at him DANCE!!!"

"Run up the wall!! Run up the goddamn wall!!"

"Shit. [Rewinds scene so the Prince doesn't die, proceeds to make the exact same mistake and dies anyway] SHIT!!!"

"Where the hell do I go?

[upon seeing a flythrough of the next room's obstacles] "Oh, you've got to be shitting me."

"I PRESSED THE A BUTTON!!! SEE?? LOOK AT ME PRESS!! GO UP THE GODDAMN WALL!!!"

[The Prince has been killed by spikes] "Way to go, fucker."

[While walking through a castle] "Well the windows are pretty."

"Where the hell do I go, asshole??"

"SHIT!! There's no fucking way!"

"Pick me up a strategy guide tomorrow, I need a map."

"I hate this fucking game."

[The Prince falls to his death] God Damn!! This is hard!"



More to come tommorow...