Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Grandma Considers Purchase Of Squirrel; Hugging It Until Dead

Grandma is having a go at Conker: Live and Reloaded. Until we have system link capabilities, It's just Grandma playing the Conker's Bad Fur Day. Why oh why didn't you warn me about this game? I received a whole lot of e-mails from a whole lot of different people telling me "Grandma will love it!" and "It's just her type of humor!" To all who recommended this game to Grandma: I will haunt you until you die.

Here's why.

Picture yourself watching some wholesome legislative action on television, cruelly discovering that my copy of San Andreas will become a rarity soon, possibly compromising the future of all Rockstar games; with your significant other on the phone trying to find solace somewhere upon the recent death of a beloved Harry Potter character, for all is not right in the world. Now imagine a laugh, no- a cackle of such uninhibited strength it would not be unlike the amplified collective victory of all super villains played simultaneously on several hundred televisions. I thought someone was hurt.

I run in to the room just in time to hear this:

"A SHIT MONSTER!!! I HAVE TO THROW TOILET PAPER AT THE SHIT MONSTER!!! AHAHAAAHHAAAHAHA!!!!!!!!"

Grandma literally has tears streaming down her face. She absolutely loves this game.

Be prepared for some interesting video. You bastards.

--Keep with the e-mails and comments! More on the way...---

66 Comments:

  • At 11:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    roflmao. that is so awesome.

     
  • At 12:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This would probably suck the bandwidth right out of you, but it sounds like you need a live "Grammy-Cam" so that dozens of fans can tune in to watch your Grandma in LIVE action, like one of those animal-cams the National Zoo has. That would sure make my work day more interesting!

     
  • At 3:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I just finished Conker for the second time (first being on the N64) and man I knew she would love it. That game is and probably still is a head of it's time.

     
  • At 4:41 PM, Blogger sixtythrough said…

    Er, not really, it's a straight port with updated graphics and disappointing multiplayer, I prefered the original N64 version.

     
  • At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I just recently found this site, and have to say that I just want to still be nuking demons and flinging toilet paper at shit monsters when I'm her age.

    Hopefully with some death metal blaring and pissing everyone in a three mile radius off due to my hearing aid being on the fritz.

    Rock on folks! Best to Grandma!

     
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  • At 5:01 PM, Blogger Arundhati said…

    LOL!! Yead do keep 'em coming

     
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