Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Jack Thompson Es Un "Fucker"

This morning, in another move that once again shows quite clearly how awesome European gamers are, the Spanish magazine MeriStation linked to Grandma in a short, online article explaining the woman. At the end of the blurb they ask the question: "¿A quién no le gustaría tener una abuela como ésta?" Well, my friends, I'll tell you who: Jack Thompson.

"Joe from New Jersey" wrote me the second he discovered Jack's new idea to get some press for himself, and this guy may be the lawyer form of the bad-guy wrestling character. In short, his new proposal is for video game designers to make a game based on the vengeful destruction of the game industry at E3 and elsewhere in retaliation for the damage it has caused to so many people. If they will do this game for him, he will donate $10,000 to any charity the game designers see fit. If you haven't already figured it out, Grandma and I hate Jack Thompson.

The gaming world is already rightfully screaming in its defense, and numerous comics and blogs have quickly seen the obvious flaws of this idiot's proposal. We at oghc are going to take this one further by making Jack's game. We'll do the game in the classic style of the 80's, just so Jack remembers how many types of games we heathens enjoy.

I should be done in a few days, I think. It's important to see Grandma's take on this blowhard- and she is supervising the production. In the meantime, Grandma is starting up Growlanser Generations and learning its battle techniques, status controls, and menu options so that she may kick some evil ass. We have lots of new stuff lined up, so make sure you check back with us for (at least) daily updates.

We just have to do our part to contribute in the community's education of this chicken fucker, and those like him.

Grandma is not just a single anecdote of the benefits of gaming; a singular response of "well, she's been playing for about thirty years, and she hasn't blown up a post office..." She has seen much of what gaming can do, positive and negative; she has seen the maturation of gaming from asteroids and pong to Resident Evil 4 and Condemned. There is much she understands that Jack Thompson refuses to study. "Cherry-picking information is a dangerous thing, Mr. Thompson," said Grandma. "If you want an information war, fine. You brought this upon yourself."

Game on!


  • At 1:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Damn you guys are awsome thank you for writing what I'm feeling these days.

    I hate this guy with a passion! not personaly but because he doesnt even know what he is bitching about? the Sims? come on I bet if that jackass played the game he of all people would like that one because he doesn't have a life.

  • At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    est* un fucker

  • At 2:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh snap. Jack Thompson gonna get his ass kicked, straight up.

    Bring the pain, Grandma & Tim. I am with you all the way, here to provide whatever help you may require.

    GAME. ON.


  • At 2:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    anonymous-- est? are you trying for french or someshit? or did you mean esta, which is also wrong?

  • At 2:58 PM, Blogger HandOverFist said…

    For a cut-scene of the industries in a downward spiral in their final hours have Jonathan Hayes and Miyamoto doing lines of crack that they just scored from Thompson by saling their companies to him.

  • At 3:17 PM, Blogger EazyCheeze said…

    "¿A quién no le gustaría tener una abuela como ésta?" Does that mean, "Who doesn't like a grandma who's like this?" I know I certainly love your grandma, Tim! And everyone who posts here does too! I sure do hope your game is awesome and fun to play as well as humorously biting. (I assume you'll do it in Flash, which is the simplest way to do such a thing.)

  • At 4:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Don't know if you are following Penny Arcade the last couple days, but they are having fun showing good old Jack as the self-serving idiot he truly is. It's nice to see the disparity in the media between how many folks talk about Jacks' big shocking $10,000 challenge (oh my!) .... and Penny Arcade's to-date accumulation of over $500,000 in donated goods and money for the Childs' Play Childrens Hospital charity they founded. I see mention of the Childs Play charity in very very few places, and yet everybody is talking about Jack and his mythological $10,000. Seems to me Jacks' benevolence exists in the same place the Phantom video console does... in a Floridian's imagination.

  • At 4:32 PM, Blogger Yelling Man said…

    Go get em! Be sure to leave some behind for us to feast on!!

  • At 5:44 PM, Blogger Elyscape said…

    True irony would be the following:
    Somebody makes the game to Jack Thompson's specifications and he actually agrees to give the money to charity, which obviously isn't going to happen.
    Paul Eibeler then dictates that Jack Thompson donate the money to Child's Play.

  • At 3:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I personallycheap D3 items don't like this guy which has a enthusiasm! not necessarily personaly although as he doesnt know what he's bitching concerning? your Sim cards? think about it My spouse and i wager if it jackass literally video game he / she of most people would love that particularGW2 items because he doesn't need an existence.


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