[Wednesday] SMAGGS #4: Jurassic Park

[This is the fourth post of a mini-six part series I wrote last week for everybody so you would have some fresh stuff about Grandma while we are out camping in the Hundred Acre Wood trying to find some goddamn honey that doesn't have some bitchy rabbit guarding it with sarcasm. We'll be back August 20th when we blog live back in Cleveland once again. Enjoy!]

SHITTY MEMORIES of AWESOME GAMER GRANDMA SHIT
Part 4
Jurassic Park

I read Michael Crichton in the 3rd grade and felt all cool because I could read a book without pictures that was more than 150 large sized type pages. The first one was a black novel nobody was talking about called Jurassic Park. It was a GREAT book. Scary as FUCK. Gruesome and nasty while scientific without being snobby. Then they came out with a movie of the same name, loosely based off the book. (Very loosely) Grandma and I waited in line for two hours with the rest of the hype crowd to see it opening night. We were at the front of the very long line for the next showing, when I hear the Tyrannosaur roar from within the closed theater. About four seconds later, a little girl comes flying out of the theater, and sat against the wall holding her ears rocking back and forth. She was absolutely terrified. That made me anxious. I was about to see something GREAT, or so I thought at the time.

Then it completely ruined my perception of the book. Fuck.

And THEN Grandma brings home a rented Genesis game. Jurassic Park. By this time, I had the Jurassic Park lunch box, the t-shirt, the poster, the trapper keeper; I was a little consumer whore. And now I cast all those items aside in shame after actually seeing the movie. I didn't play the game much.

But Grandma did.

She liked playing as the Raptor more than playing Dr. Grant, I remember that. I remember her pouncing on humans and screaming "STOP SHOOTING ME!!!!" She ran from the T-Rex; she snuck onto the catwalks, she played this thing to death. But all I can remember is my shame.....


THE END!!

[Tomorrow. Here. ....You know. There will be another post and stuff.]