Old Grandma Hardcore

This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Grandma's Playing Outlaw Golf 2

When it comes to Outlaw Golf 2, Grandma's game is not at it's peak. There are a ton of characters, The Range, which is essentially a bunch of mini games, and a long tour, so to get 100% in this game is pretty daunting. She turned off the commentary and voices and she's plowing away at this game, trying her damndest to reach the point of "why bother." She doesn't understand the dynamics of the controls as well as the PGA series Golf Games, or even Hot Shots 1 & 2, so I usually beat her pretty bad when we go head to head. The thing is- is when she's putting, she turns on the grid and very carefully counts up and down the number of cells she needs to adjust, and she messes it up. If by chance, she does make the projected path go into the hole, she will mess up at the power meter and swear profusely.

So here is some sample dialogue of Grandma and I as she plays tour mode of Outlaw Golf 2:

"G- [While choosing the costume for her player] Jesus Christ! Look what she's wearing! Her ass is hanging out!"

"G- Fuck! You hit the ball 10 feet and the asshole rolls 26 feet! You see that shit?"
"M- Yeah, it was... close."

"G- Shit, you see what I mean about that wind? You could be out in fuckin Timbuktoo you hit it anywhere near the pin."

"G- No, no no no no, too far dummy. Yeah, I knew you were going to roll way off."

"G- How the
fuck do you get it to drop by the pin and stay there?"
"M- You hit the bottom of the ball"
"G- The bottom? How do I do that?"
"M- [showing her which thumbstick to use] Here, like-"
"G- No! If you show me you'll just take credit when I win."

"M- Well, you came close to getting an ace..."
"G- I'm not playing fucking horseshoes, Tim."

"G- That's a bunch of shit. [watching ghostball projection] How the hell did I end up way over there?"

"G- [on listening to the soundtrack] Did he say 'ghetto youth?' I don't understand rap most of the time. I don't know what the hell they're saying!"


  • At 10:28 AM, Anonymous pop2012 said…

    70 years and gaming? This woman is my hero. really.

  • At 2:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I hope that they areDiablo III items going to acquire us the actual gaming console of the time after i 'm released for you to pasture. Would love to see a pictureBuy RS Gold within your nana playin

  • At 12:01 AM, Anonymous LazeeGames said…

    I love sports games. I will need to check this out

  • At 1:12 AM, Anonymous lolitems said…

    The thing is- is when she's putting, she turns on the grid and very carefully counts up and down the number of cells she needs to adjust, and she messes it up.Cheap LOL Account

    elo boost

  • At 5:52 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Trade FX At Home On Your PC: roboforex login Is A Forex Trading Company. The Company States That You Can Make On Average 80 – 300 Pips Per Trade. roboforex login States That It Is Simple And Easy To Get Started.

  • At 7:18 AM, Anonymous garima said…

    Do you believe in long term investement . One of the option of doing investement is by investing in Crypto currencies. You can invest in Fudxcoin company that deals in the selling and purchasing of Crypto Currency. It is a reliable company. One need not doubt in investing in it as i have also bought crypto currency from it and feeling very satisfied with their services.
    crypto currency blockchain technology

  • At 8:55 PM, Blogger Dr. Namita Nadar said…

    Dr. Namita Nadar is the Best Dietitian and Nutritionist in Noida and Delhi NCR. She has established her Weight Loss Centre almost two decades ago with the mission of increasing awareness about having a good diet plan or diet chart in our daily life that could bring remarkable effects on our health and lifestyle. Best Dietitian and nutritionist in Noida NCRShe cures her patient with her holistic approach consisting of proper diet planning for weight loss and weight gain, body composition analysis along with the patient’s medical condition.



Post a Comment

<< Home