Vanity Plates; Daxter; Minor Surgery

Grandma thought it would be cool to label her POS Poniac Grand Am with something a bit more substantial than a bumpersticker, so she ordered customized lisence plates with the tag: "OGHC," as though the local police aren't already on the lookout for a vulgar woman speeding to and from Gamestop. She's currently devoting most of her time playing Daxter for the PSP, which has allowed her to get used to the tiny thumbstick. Yesterday she went into St. Thomas Hospital in Akron for minor back surgery; the surgeon told me everything went well and I'm going to pick her up today! So... good news all around.

I've never been a fan of vanity plates. I'm not a speeder really and I don't drink and drive but I've always felt a little nervous passing a police car with a dude inside focusing his attention on everything I do. A few things give cops the excuse to pull over some jackass just to make sure they don't have a doobie in the ashtray and a body in the trunk: first being a bumpersticker that reads "Fuck tha PO-lice," second being a Hummer H2 with a gun rack and an image of a fetus in the back engraved with the phrase "Confederacy NOW." Third is a vanity plate.

However: when Grandma first suggested the plates for her car she was kidding around. She wasn't even certain how to go about acquiring such a thing, and was pretty sure a four digit tag was either reserved for government plates or already taken. Just to be a smartass, she looked into it and bought them.

I put them on the car because she couldn't bend that low.

Her worst fear is being pulled over for a broken tail light or some stupid thing and have a police officer ask "so what's OGHC stand for?" The answer has already illicited stares from DHL delivery drivers, I'm sure it would be a less than pleasant experience with a person with any authority. If, by chance, she runs into some backwoods sherriff with a hard-on for pornography and "librels," she's fucked.


She wasn't quite sure where to begin on the PSP given the 20 games Sony sent her, so she took your advice and bough Lumines ($12.00 used at any GameStop) and played around with Medieval Ressurection and Daxter, settling on the last to get started because she made it the farthest the quickest.

Grandma playing the PSP is like watching a kid try to play one of those awkward ball mazes they give as stocking stuffers at company parties. She flails about, moving her arms from side to side and, when in the car, up and down to match the challenge of glare as it appears from passing trees.

"It's a platform game. Literally. You jump from platform to platform and kill bugs, I don't know what to tell you. I only killed a couple bosses so far so far... Tim, I can't give you a review till I'm further on in this thing, what the fuck do you want me to tell you?

Just tell people it's fucking hard."


The pains in Grandma's back that made me panic back in May were finally corrected yesterday in a surgery that involves injected what is more or less concrete onto her spine in an effort to fuse a fracture. She HATES anyone fucking around with her back, but after a lot of bitching and moaning she went in and had the thing fixed. To tell the truth, I was more nervous about this one than she was; any time they use general anesthesia I get the shakes that she won't wake up. Grandma brought her DS lite and her PSP to the hospital, so tomorrow I should have a better opinion of Daxter from her because she's been laying on her back with nothing else to do but focus on the game.

I'm curious how much further she's gotten, and what sort of opinions the nurses in Akron had upon discovery of her "hobby."

I'll let you know more about Daxter and the hospital tomorrow after I get back. Also, Grandma has some opinions about a few things in the gaming news recently she would like to express ;)

Game on!