Grandma Has Destroyed Psychonauts

Double Fine Productions, Tim Schafer, and Majesco Entertainment made Psychonauts dark. Grandma was thrilled with the graphics; she loved the way each level appropriately held a personality of its own. She adored the characters and the story. She laughed, she screamed- ...well, mostly she just screamed.

In a game where the main character is symbolically named for the occultist advisor to the last dynasty of Imperial Russia who was brutally assassinated by poison, stabbed, shot many times and dumped into a icy river before the royal family were sent to exile awaiting their inevitable execution by a bloody, undignified firing squad; men women and children alike pleading for their lives only to meet the metallic taste of bullets in their final moments of absolute terror- it's a surprisingly heartwarming tale of a boy and his daddy.

Because the story takes place at a "camp" of sorts, it is in fact the kids, the counselors, the teachers that steal the show. I will admit Grandma and I both cringed at a few of their voices but I'd like to think it was because they were supposed to be annoying, as those of us who suffered through summer camps for psychic ability can attest. Personal Grandma favorites include the board-game like level in which one must convince very French people to come out of their very French homes to fight a very French war- because Grandma indeed has a French last name; she gets a kick out of the mention of cheese. Most of her time in that level was spent laughing.

But then, the end- the final level; a circus tent made of meat with all sorts of steak-fillet platforms and butcher blade obstacles enough to fill mouths of any vegetarian with bits of vomit- as Grandma put it to me earlier- "This level is a BITCH..."

It took her awhile, about two hours I think, to finally make it from the bottom of the meat circus tent to the end of the game. It was her mountain, her K-2; and like most climbers, she had thoughts of returning to base camp for better weather more than once, the summit appearing unreachable. I urge you to go back a few posts to read her statements of cowardice; because in this one I'll only include the triumph:

"YES!! YES!!! IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!! God DAMN! WOOOOOO!!!! That's it! That's IT! It's over! FINALLY! Thank. Fucking. CHRIST!!! Ahw, God, that was fun. It was FUN! But now- it's over. It's FUCKING OVER!!!"

The cutscene concluded the story in a manner not unlike The Incredibles, and the credits rolled by; featuring some artwork from the game, followed by a picture of the staff over at Double Fine Productions, who don't appear to be as hideous as one would expect after playing Psychonauts. They in fact look like a nice bunch of folks.

The Psychonauts Brain intro appeared on the screen once again, ready for another go. Grandma asked "Hey, go on GameFAQs and see if I get anything for beating it..." expecting to be able to keep some powers for a second try at the game. I looked it up for her.
"No," I said. "But there are a whole bunch of cheats you could use."

She gave me the dirtiest look I've ever seen since the DHL lady delivered some free stuff from TriXie over at Microsoft addressed to "Old Grandma Hardcore."
"What do you mean there were CHEATS?? And you didn't THINK to tell me that while I threatened to throw the FUCKING XBOX out the GOD DAMN WINDOW???"


Right now Grandma's trying to finish up God Mode on God of War as her next project, which- like Psychonauts, Grandma has declared "fucking impossible."

If you haven't picked up a copy of Psychonauts, Grandma strongly recommends it- but make sure you know what you're getting into.


--More updates on the way! Thanks for the comments and e-mails, you know what we like... Also, as usual, tonight is Monday night Grandma Blogging; so 9:00pm EST is another edition of Ask Grandma Hardcore. See you there!--