Circuit City #3554 In Bainbridge Ohio Can Kiss My French-Canadian Ass

We picked up the camera you bought us today. B&H decided "In Stock" means "I Can Sell You Something Else," and 47th Street Photo thinks that the cheapest possible way to send a 3lb box from New York to Cleveland is somewhere around $6 million dollars or "shut the fuck up and take it, you need a camera, so fughedaboutit, asshole." To 47th St.'s credit, the dude did call me back to answer a question about something.

So it was either outrageous tax or outrageous shipping. I had a feeling your donations wouldn't fully be used to pay UPS if you know what I mean, but I hate giving the State of Ohio a damn thing. Fuck Ohio. It's a shitty state with a shittier government, but it had to be done to get a camera. Wal Mart was out of stock, so we went next door to Circuit City.

Grandma and I have given this store a lot of business since it opened recently. I bought a whole desktop computer set for my mother there. I bought an iPod, headphones, CD's, the whole DVD collection of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and The Ren and Stimpy show, the TV Swivel for Grandma's TV, Grandma's TV, a DVD player, a couple games Gamestop and EB priced too high, not to mention numerous boxes of Nerds candy with each purchase. Grandma picked up her copy of God of War today from this store.

Not no more, I tells ya. I've done learned my lesson.

To get someone to help us in a store with about 12 or more employees, and perhaps 3 customers, I had to juggle various camcorder bags in a humorous way saying "Who wants commission? Easy sale! I know what I want! Please unlock it!! PLEASE!!!!" After the security guard noticed that Grandma was leaning on one of the cases because she had been standing there for 20 minutes with a crazy person juggling shit jumping around next to her with his girlfriend holding a sit-in protest against the tyrannical union-busting store management bosses for ignoring us in the camcorder section by sitting in the lotus position on the floor of Circuit City chanting "Please Help Us! Please HELP US!!"- we finally got some kid to unlock the case. (It has come to my understanding while re-reading this post that we are in fact lunatics. This is irrelevant.)

I ask if any of the higher model numbers of the Sony series have manual settings for shutter speed and aperture. His response: "Did you look?" I ask if there is anyone who knows in the store. He says no. I buy the fucking camera.

The kid proceeds to try and sell us a $90 protection plan to a camera that isn't going to leave its mighty Pelican pressure adaptive hard case unless filming Grandma by guilt tripping us with the fact that it was donation money that bought us the camera in the first place. For a half hour. Grandma just wants to get home so she can play God of War. The kid keeps trying.

To get a good price sometimes you have to do some crazy shit. Like shop at Circuit City. In Bainbridge, Ohio. The one near Payless Shoes.

Fuckers.


Oh but it gets better. See, Grandma bought God of War. We did the right thing and formed a human chain around one of the fast moving red shirted employees, forcing him from his assigned vector to unlock the glass case. He gave it to me. "No," I said. "The game is for her," pointing to Grandma.

He gives Grandma and me the dirtiest look since Ann Coulter showed up for Woodstock. Grandma was a bit hurt that this kid thought we were fucking with him. Grandma had to follow him to the register, run her card, and sign the little pad in silence.

On the way home, she had this to say:
"That was NOT cool. How long were we in there? Did you see the LOOK that guy gave me? We should say something on the site, that kid was a DICK."

I responded- "...alright."


Fuckers.

--Updates coming TONIGHT!!--