tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-138202462012-01-28T11:46:26.213-05:00This blog is the chronicle of my experiences with Grandma, the video-game playing queen of her age-bracket and weight class. She will beat any PS2, XBox, GameCube, etc., console game put in front of her, just like she always has. These are her stories. She is absolutely real. She lives in Cleveland.CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.comBlogger3241100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-5806796021584544142011-12-29T20:53:00.002-05:002011-12-29T20:58:39.151-05:00

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-54587531324722351982011-01-21T03:58:00.002-05:002011-01-21T05:27:58.379-05:00

Well... shit.I suppose I should tell you right now: it's my fault. I haven't posted close to a year now. There really isn't a good reason for that. There's a lot of bullshit spam in the comment section on older posts that I haven't cleaned up. There isn't a good reason for that, either. You deserve an update and more.The short of it is Grandma is doing just fine, for the most part.

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com87tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-85313499858314318902010-03-25T18:08:00.003-05:002010-03-25T20:25:35.848-05:00

Right, so...This kind of post doesn't happen very often.Grandma has her regular bookmarks on her Firefox toolbar that she clicks through every day for some gaming goodness. Destructoid, Kotaku, Joystiq, Crispy Gamer, The Escapist, etc.,.. She takes the dog out, makes a cup of coffee, sits down at her computer, checks her email and thus begins her routine a couple times a day.Well, today she

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com83tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-75797396469671644742010-03-16T10:08:00.004-05:002010-03-16T10:22:12.085-05:00

Filmed yesterday, so it gives you a good idea of how far in she is on her first playthrough. She's still learning strategy, so if you have any tips on how she can improve her battle ratings, she's very open to your advice.I'm no help. I can't follow what the hell is going on when I watch her, and I'm not going to start a game myself until she's done with the thing.Also: I did the best I could

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com51tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-58143620072105008372010-03-09T21:35:00.005-05:002010-03-09T23:11:09.181-05:00

Final Fantasy XIII has been the focus of Grandma's anticipation since 2006. Whenever a game she played didn't quite pass muster or when a giant hole of suck formed on a new releases calendar, she would wonder, out loud, to nobody in particular: "I wonder when Thirteen is coming out."She said this so much that FFXIII became the Undying Lands to Grandma's Middle-earth, spilling into conversations

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-9235011965716687312010-02-17T16:19:00.005-05:002010-02-17T17:29:50.893-05:00

I want you to picture yourself at a department store.You're slightly depressed. You figure a little shopping therapy will do you some good; blow a little money on yourself as a distraction from whatever is pissing you off. You picked out a shirt you kind of like and you're standing in line at the register.The person in front of you is chatting with the sales clerk. "Do you think this top is

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-66841907895276009722010-02-01T06:35:00.002-05:002010-02-01T07:51:29.674-05:00

On February 1st, 1936, Grandma probably wasn't thinking about Final Fantasy XIII. She wasn't anticipating BioShock 2 or Mass Effect 2. She wasn't arguing the benefits of published strategy guides versus GameFAQs. Nor was she pondering Roosevelt's economic theory, now that I think about it.Because she couldn't talk yet.After Dead Space, Grandma was solid into Modern Warfare 2 for awhile.

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-31052439751400851712009-11-16T23:50:00.005-05:002009-11-17T00:15:24.900-05:00

A couple things about this one: first, it's dark. This is how Grandma insists on playing it (she was the same way about the Fatal Frame series). Second: I noticed she's sporting the Left 4 Dead 2 shirt she scored from PAX :)Try as I might to get her to use the saw in a more, say.. practical manner, she gets by just shooting the holy hell out of everything until she has nothing left in her

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-67987371157674926862009-11-01T16:27:00.008-05:002009-11-01T17:08:10.448-05:00

In yet another puzzling roadblock for Grandma's quest to answer "Who the fuck am I?", Ian Milham, art director of Dead Space, sent Grandma a very special Halloween present.And the fantastic depiction of Grandma wielding a 211-V Plasma Cutter was only the beginning.Ian assures Grandma that her apparent love of survival horror games is not at all complete without the addition of Dead Space. Sure,

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-78018610198674326822009-10-29T16:54:00.003-05:002009-11-01T16:27:25.237-05:00

I'd say never so much before has a game made Grandma squeal with joy whilst simultaneously pissing her off, but you know that's not true. That describes pretty much every goddamn game she likes.She absolutely adored it.Brutal Legend is not an easy game. Usually if a game seems relatively impossible, Grandma will lower down the difficulty, play until she gets the hang of things and slowly

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-28883234467783112622009-10-20T09:07:00.007-05:002009-10-20T19:19:36.311-05:00

Grandma has been enjoying the hell out of Beatles Rock Band on her PS3. We're poor, so she bought one of those value-deal type thingies where it came with the original Rock Band instruments instead of the cool new Beatles instruments. And that's okay. We already had the original Rock Band for the kids' PS2, and the instruments are the same, so now we have two of everything, which is enough

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-81764511411265946702009-09-08T00:12:00.197-05:002009-09-11T00:58:30.323-05:00

Our plane just landed back in Cleveland a little while ago.Businessmen and tourists have the luxury of West to East jet-lag that allows them the magical feeling of being in the future when they get home. We were not afforded such pleasures. The last five days were so solidly packed with awesome that the artificial systems of time imposed upon the rest of the world no longer hold meaning to

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-66484129489617371672009-09-03T00:47:00.002-05:002009-09-03T01:16:07.432-05:00

It's about 2:00am EST and we're about to leave for the airport. Grandma is ridiculously excited for this trip. Excited, and perhaps a bit nervous. PAX has sold out. We got our pre-reg packet in the mail as promised so we're good, but it's going to be a hell of a lot of people this year it seems. That's not the problem- the more the merrier of course; Long Live Penny Arcade! But I

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-49131280410523028782009-07-25T20:26:00.009-05:002009-07-26T02:15:15.857-05:00

Grandma's life is finally resembling something others call "normal." She has completed cardiac therapy, which is another way of saying Medicare won't pay for it anymore. They gave her a certificate reminiscent of the "Pleasure to have in class" awards teachers give to elementary school students which we threatened to hang on the refrigerator. "You hang that shit up there and I swear to god

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-15225433211636793412009-04-18T19:47:00.009-05:002009-04-19T01:29:29.019-05:00

Grandma's bypass surgery was February 16th. It's now almost May and and the first glimmer of normalcy is creeping into Grandma's overstressed life in the form of getting utterly pissed off at Professional Mode in Resident Evil 5 on her 360. The past month and a half of never-ending hospital visits, close scares, and doctor's appointments definitely rank as the most pain she has ever felt in

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com74tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-56143813159678962592009-02-19T13:05:00.005-05:002009-02-19T18:01:01.574-05:00

Grandma and I haven't posted anything in a little while. It's only fair that you folks know why.The short of it is this: Grandma has been in and out of the hospital since just after the holidays. Her back pain got to the point where something had to be done. She's been to several specialists to see if anything could be diagnosed, let alone treated. The medication wasn't helping, so under

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-64364251463154462412009-01-07T00:30:00.002-05:002009-01-07T00:35:21.622-05:00

I know I can't keep the schedule right at the moment, so I'll post a video of what she's playing today.She got CoD: World at War for Christmas, which she's still trying to defeat on Veteran mode. Fallout 3 is pretty much as done as you can get, but she didn't really want to go back through and play as a Neutral character because it just doesn't seem as fun as being an absolute saint or a

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-74443460153758903992008-11-08T01:50:00.002-05:002008-11-08T03:20:30.071-05:00

Okay!Here is what I've been up to: Work work work work work work work. I don't think I've played a game in months. It makes me sad.Here's what Grandma has been up to: NCAA Football 08', Metal Gear Solid 4, F.E.A.R., Infinite Undiscovery, Fable II, Resistance 2, and now Fallout 3.She just started Fallout 3 and Resistance 2, so there isn't much to say yet. But I can give you a quick rundown

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-44904917990676009092008-09-05T04:08:00.005-05:002009-09-10T06:54:39.729-05:00

I'm a news photographer. That's my day job. Every instance I get to shoot an assignment, make some composition, some ethical choice- to say "no, I can't shoot it this way, because that would be masking truth" or "no, I can't Photoshop the levels so much that the picture looks awesome because it's going too far", I get that self-righteous feeling of glee that comes from knowing I did something

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-5698035086179782912008-07-24T21:23:00.003-05:002008-07-24T23:33:13.508-05:00

The ride from the hotel to Universal Studios was a quick one. The facility was, literally, just across the street. Grandma chatted a bit with Peter, an actor living in New York a little younger than me who sported a UK accent. He was a pleasant, cordial sort of dude."I wonder what it's going to be like!" was the comment of the trip, it seemed.-"It's probably a bunch of fucking big empty

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-89976611055487453542008-07-06T19:04:00.003-05:002008-07-06T21:11:39.446-05:00

Grandma was four under par by the time I had finished eating some cold pizza. I awkwardly asked someone if I could go outside for a quick smoke. "That's what the badges are for," she said, pointing at the "Visitor Pass--Escort Required" card clipped to my shirt. I left the conference room that housed the dying rehearsal party and walked past the security guard, pointing at my badge like I

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-53471366815853092422008-06-27T21:43:00.003-05:002008-06-27T22:46:50.550-05:00

Gather 'round my children; grab a stool and a stoop of ale and hear of flying machines, lizards and beasts unknown; insane cab drivers with GPS devices and waitresses and drinking and other vices. Hear of directors and producers and freelance PA's. Hear of actors and actresses and NDA's. Grandma auditioned for a commercial directed by Errol Morris promoting a new EA game (which we cannot

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-6162030963440749012008-06-05T01:40:00.005-05:002008-06-05T03:04:40.425-05:00

Okay! Grandma will probably do another vCast pretty soon, but I'll preempt it with a bit of an update on how she's doing and what she's playing.First up, because I know everybody's curious, Grand Theft Auto IV:Solid fucking game. You empathize with the characters and the story. The over-the-shoulder shooting style rocks, particularly with the auto-aim feature. Gorgeous graphics yet- it's

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-17752390818334515162008-04-28T23:37:00.005-05:002008-04-28T23:50:03.678-05:00

There was maybe about 30 people when we got there tonight; about a hundred or so when we left.Also: there was Eric. Eric was dressed as a banana for some inexplicable reason; defying the art of logic in a Dada like display of neo-post-absurdist joy.He was cool.Game on!

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-89644431262931481792008-03-30T20:52:00.007-05:002008-03-31T00:30:59.682-05:00

If you've read us long enough you'll know that it happens once and awhile; sometimes there will be a game worshiped by many that Grandma just can't enjoy. It almost makes her feel bad to have to say she hates it. Almost.But then she falls off another ledge because her fucking Wii-mote isn't cooperating and she comes back to her senses.She's tried repositioning the sensor bar, sitting further

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-10897185547454990672008-03-14T19:21:00.003-05:002008-03-14T19:28:53.145-05:00

I hope this works!-Grandma

Grandmanoreply@blogger.com43tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-7578966737965399622008-01-24T22:55:00.000-05:002008-01-25T03:30:38.459-05:00

Holy fucking shit, you guys.Holy shit.Dig this: let's say you have some free time this November, say from the 13th to the 18th. Let's say there existed a cruise that went from Long Beach, CA to Ensenada, Mexico that just so happened to fit into that schedule. Let's also say (hypothetically speaking of course) that on the first night of the cruise is a concert by VIDEO GAMES LIVE. Just to

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-41926085529251086432007-12-30T00:25:00.000-05:002007-12-30T00:28:08.589-05:00

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-54464596941284488602007-12-15T05:00:00.000-05:002007-12-15T05:09:21.189-05:00

Wii bowling teams at retirement homes, the Penny-Arcade guys having one of those moments, AARP trying its best to teach older folks about video games, a 95 years young Japanese woman playing Halo 3, the Brain Age phenomenon with all of its knock-offs and cheap imitations, pensioners becoming addicted to World of Warcraft... and what does it all mean? Where are we going? What is the

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-45300626740025423912007-11-24T01:23:00.000-05:002007-11-24T05:48:54.704-05:00

There is a certain phenomenon in the gaming world in which one's save files on a memory card, hard-drive, or cartridge are deleted by another, whether it be a friend, enemy or relative. The phenomenon is typically the product of accident or negligence, but on certain, rare occasions it is performed deliberately out of malice. Either way, it is unique to a certain classification of instances

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com63tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-7191798156563743142007-11-10T14:30:00.000-05:002007-11-10T02:35:40.285-05:00

Grandma's health has gotten better. The bills are being paid early. The Jeep is back from the shop and running better than before the accident. My schedule is now fairly regular. Working longer weeks has finally paid off in spades for me.Gaming for Grandma has become fun again; filling the time with Guitar Hero III, Half-Life 2: Episode 2, Dead Head Fred, Halo 3, Ratchet & Clank: Tools of

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-87395862446385132092007-10-24T02:25:00.000-05:002007-10-24T04:22:17.883-05:00

It's not the first time something like this has happened; in 2005 I actually received a sympathy card. A single anonymous comment in a thread somewhere can trigger that sort of thing whether it's a joke or a misunderstanding or ...something, but allow me to clear things up right now by stating that Grandma, in every sense, be it biologically, cognitively and philosophically, is still alive.She

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-77520784541357286382007-09-27T02:10:00.000-05:002007-09-27T06:03:42.734-05:00

The past month has been brutal. Grandma, stoically leveling up different classes in her Blue Dragon party, is waiting for me to come from work to tell me about something she read in EGM, about an e-mail from one of you, tell me about a part of whatever she's playing or to pass along a message from someone who called about a job- someone needs senior portraits done before some yearbook deadline;

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com51tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-6018194936029608232007-09-11T20:40:00.000-05:002007-09-11T22:13:14.788-05:00

What's going on! Where are we?! What's Grandma doing?!Well I'll tell you.Lots of gaming goodness has been going down at our house, I just haven't had time to post anything. My hours have been increased at work. I recieved a promotion and now I'm rarely at home. That will change when schedules settle down, but at the moment, I'm just happy if I can grab a few hours of sleep. We have

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-68476506178862777772007-08-29T21:49:00.000-05:002007-08-30T00:12:15.723-05:00

Grandma finished her first run-through of BioShock last weekend. There's still a lot she wants to accomplish, so we're not quite calling this game 'destroyed' yet. From what she's told me there are something like three different endings one can get; not to mention she only has about half of the possible achievements. For a single player game, this just isn't acceptable to her. She needs

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-31356499075042511452007-08-22T23:06:00.000-05:002007-08-23T04:01:33.868-05:00

I picked up a copy of BioShock Tuesday afternoon for Grandma, much to the ire of the poor soul behind me in line who heard the clerk say the depressingly cheerful phrase "you got the last one!" to that grinning jackass in front of him. She immediately dived into the thing (no pun intended) cranking the exquisite audio to a point where I now hear the preemptive whistling sound of an approaching

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-80945424376446267762007-08-19T22:25:00.000-05:002007-08-19T23:50:59.064-05:00

Here's Grandma doing her best Darkness infused Jackie Estacado impersonation, complete with glowing, demon snake heads, upon completing this god-awful, piece of shit game. Even Mr. Bungle couldn't salvage this thing. For me- Mike Patton growling evil things into a microphone would have been reason enough to buy it but they somehow managed to fuck that up too.This one was my fault; I take full

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-75518065466568231872007-08-12T11:42:00.000-05:002007-08-13T02:03:28.616-05:00

The story about how we got this thing is actually kind of sweet. Evan at Microsoft/Edelman was afraid Grandma's Xbox Live subscription would run out before they got a chance to get her a code, so he sent her a 12-month card before he searched for a one-use code he could e-mail to her, just in case he couldn't find one in time. Well, he did find a code, and the card arrived anyway via DHL.

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-49167743566293754592007-08-10T20:09:00.000-05:002007-08-10T23:27:06.579-05:00

Some of you may remember Grandma appearing on G4's Attack of the Show last August for a panel discussion on 'Women and Gaming'... We drove to studio here in Ohio from which Grandma could participate via satellite. During the taping, I sat in the control room with our little camcorder pointed at the screen (with the studio's permission, mind you) showing the feed from the camera that was being

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-54085468348795419652007-08-08T23:00:00.000-05:002007-08-10T22:17:09.500-05:00

[Update: Yay! Kotaku, Destructoid and Joystiq gave us some love! Thanks, guys. We love ya!]A couple things on this one:1. The chain 'bling' she's got around her neck is an emergency alert tag displaying that she's currently taking blood thinners.2. This stage was the battle with Kahn at Heaven's Peak. There's some voice cues you might pick up if you've played it through, but other than

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-49797320082400243612007-08-03T21:38:00.000-05:002007-08-04T04:20:03.721-05:00

"I don't really care about the corruption thing, I just kill the peasants and the sheep and raid all the houses for the hell of it. It gets your little guys all armored up and you don't get arrested like in Oblivion. Farming sheep is an easy way to boost up your weapons and shit in the forge, but you can do that in the dungeon and you don't have to run around all over the damn place. I set

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-77491541670006481082007-08-01T22:04:00.000-05:002007-08-01T23:24:37.359-05:00

Well, I decided to quit smoking this week and now I pretty much hate everyone. Seriously, I have no idea how to deal with this shit. I'm not even quitting because of health reasons or because of the evils of the tobacco industry or because truth.com has convinced me of the error of my ways. I'm quitting because it's too goddamn expensive. So there you go, you nonsmoking health-nazi nanny

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Grandma and I had a little extra cash today. This is a pleasant opportunity for entertainment we couldn't pass up, so she decided on a new game. It all came down to 'Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80's' for the PS2, or 'Overlord' for the XBox 360.Grandma decided to go with Overlord.Everything she and I had read about the 80's expansion for GHII was fairly negative, especially about the price

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-1047213244620343622007-07-25T22:10:00.000-05:002007-07-25T22:17:11.876-05:00

Open thread! What do you want to talk about? While we wait, watch the horribly embarrassing Disney PR disaster video after the jump.

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com95tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-48433350091189445582007-07-22T19:48:00.000-05:002007-07-22T20:58:59.647-05:00

Grandma is still forming an opinion on EDF: 2017. It's a game of many contradictions. The graphics are shit, and yet the graphics are awesome. The dialogue is terrible and annoying but the dialogue is hilarious. The game is easy as hell and hard as FUCK. Its manner of leveling up is tedious but god DAMN those weapons are sweet. The plot is absurd and stupid. The plot is absurd and

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-80351005247149451832007-07-20T18:17:00.000-05:002007-07-20T19:24:57.498-05:00

Well this one's confusing. How the hell she ended up with a common sports injury is beyond me, but one thing is for certain: her ass ain't pitching in the post-season. Of course they asked her about her enthusiastic Wii playing style just thirsty for a new "video games are harmful" scandal, but the truth is much more boring. She's pretty sure she just slept on it wrong and twisted it.

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-71174093617585473162007-07-18T20:43:00.000-05:002007-07-18T22:20:40.472-05:00

It took Grandma a while to complete this one, which is strange because it hadn't left her PSP since Jennifer from Sony sent it to her. Honestly, I blame my almost perfect scheduling and driving abilities. All the various doctor's appointments she has endured lately had relatively short wait times in the queue rooms filled with uncomfortable chairs and old Newsweek magazines and various

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-92135639703402840852007-07-15T16:59:00.000-05:002007-07-15T17:56:31.288-05:00

Sweet mother of god I need to update. Grandma has been back from the hospital for awhile but she has frequent, scheduled trips to physical therapy to deal with now. The whole situation has been less than pleasant. Meanwhile, the 'mini E3' anti-hype coming from the games industry has put her in a somewhat healthy funk; allowing her to once again be her old visceral self. She wants to play

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-53431870816864940162007-06-11T15:56:00.000-05:002007-06-11T16:51:43.591-05:00

Don't panic; it's nothing serious. She had a breathing treatment (she uses a nebulizer for asthmatic bronchitis) on Saturday morning that didn't agree with her, so to speak, in that she was having difficulty breathing and a sharp pain in the middle of her chest that prevented her from moving; even standing too long made her feel dizzy. I took her up to the emergency room to see if there was

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com48tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-26165923613786927742007-05-31T11:38:00.000-05:002007-05-31T13:48:51.780-05:00

Grandma's XBox 360 came back from repair just before last weekend. Well, not really her 360. It's a replacement unit with an April 2007 manufacture date and a new serial number. Apparently The Beast was beyond repair. Microsoft treated Grandma well throughout the whole ordeal; but there is still a DRM issue we're trying to get corrected (They are walking her through the process of getting

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-13836035230828249762007-05-17T01:58:00.000-05:002007-05-17T03:24:49.745-05:00

The Red Ring of Death;O, Texas Repair Center!You're our only hope.It happened. Grandma's XBox 360, "The Beast", gave her The Ring of Doom; The Three Red Lights; The Texas Eyeball; The Major Nelson Stare.. and this time, there was no cooling off period or power supply reconnection solution. This time, we had to leave it to the professionals.To say it made Grandma depressed is an

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-30780034357819367752007-05-03T19:51:00.000-05:002007-05-03T20:09:12.265-05:00

Sweet! The 5th episode of Full Moon Show podcast is now live and Grandma is their Mystery Guest this week. It's worth the listen if for no other reason than more news on the upcoming Ratchet and Clank game.Grandma talks about her gaming history, Resistance Fall of Man, violence in video games, among other things, so... if you have any questions that you WISH they asked, go ahead and use this

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Well, Grandma beat Super Paper Mario on her Wii last night. As semi-RPG's go, it didn't take her very long to complete this cool little game. This game didn't invoke the full power of Grandma's frustration, but she did get annoyed at certain points in which her objective wasn't exactly clear.More on this after the jump, as well as some fantastically awesome stuff that makes Grandma and I jump

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Grandma wanted me to post a very specific point so all of you know; she wants to be extremely clear in announcing to the world that she is terribly horribly bad at Guitar Hero II on the PS2 and the 360. She has asked me to tell you exactly how god-awful she is, so there is no mistaking her complete and utter lack of skill when it comes to rhythm games."I fucking suck," she says. "But I can't

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-8143066432994329922007-04-04T11:38:00.000-05:002007-04-04T12:03:34.663-05:00

When Cory Barlog and his motley gang of misfits and outcasts designed the FANTASTIC game that is God of War 2, they made certain that you would learn to hate the 'O' button on your controller. You'll notice that the 'O' button is the farthest right button on the pad, and the most difficult to mash when your thumb has been hovering over 'X' and 'Δ'; it's just that much more of a pain in the ass!

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-650061465038179742007-03-17T17:37:00.000-05:002007-03-17T19:21:31.090-05:00

Of all the Wii Sports games she likes bowling the best and boxing the least. Grandma began playing video games when arcades were first introduced to bowling alleys back in the 70's when she was on a league. She can't bowl anymore because of her knees and back, but she's can still play, goddammit!Let's meet her first set of enemies, The Twins...This is Bob. Bob can hook the ball like a

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-5688996812039242792007-03-13T18:53:00.000-05:002007-03-18T00:38:56.716-05:00

***Update*** March 17th -- Holy shit, guys! The Last Boss and Kotaku (again, Brian, dude... we love ya) posted Video 18, which made its way to the front page of Digg for quite awhile today, which ended up on the NeoGAF forums... Jesus. It's been quite a ride for this one. Thanks everybody!--The thing about Resistance that I didn't realize; the thing for which I will now be chided forever

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com44tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-67868746079167003632007-03-11T15:38:00.000-05:002007-03-11T18:54:40.143-05:00

It happened Wednesday night; the realization that she finally had enough money. Sometime during her daily ritual of going over the bills and balancing the checkbook, something clicked. It didn't take much guessing to wonder what she meant when she said aloud, hunched over a calculator: "holy shit.... I could actually DO this.."The next morning, she fucking did it.She chose the 60GB version

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5190 3632 0029 8742***Update (03/11/2007)*** Thanks for all the emails and friend additions, everybody! Grandma has a couple pages left in her address book so if you haven't yet friended her you still can.This is a quickie post because a much larger one is coming tomorrow. If you want to friend Grandma on your Wii, go ahead and add her code but MAKE SURE you post a comment or send us an

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Let me tell you a little story about what happened to Grandma on Thursday...Grandma woke up before the kids got on the bus for school. She wanted to get a shower in and clean up the place before reporters from the Columbus Dispatch arrived sometime around noon. Like every morning, she first plopped down at the computer to check her e-mail, check the weather and read the news. Grandma

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-1170561012867863962007-02-03T22:38:00.000-05:002007-02-03T22:56:09.326-05:00

Card made by Grandma's granddaughter Barbie :)

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No, we don't have the demo of God of War 2 yet; hell we just stole the cover art from (the big man himself) Cory Barlog's blog. The men and women at SCEA have been literally killing themselves over making this game perfect for its launch. Literally. I think people might have actually DIED. Grandma envisions Cory three different ways whenever we talk about game development:1. He's the

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-1167719490236208272007-01-02T00:32:00.000-05:002007-01-02T02:53:09.633-05:00

Grandma has been inching forward on The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess on her neglected little GameCube for the past week or so. She couldn't quite get into FF:III for the DS after finishing XII last month; the contrast between the Job system and the License Board system was just too jarring to make such a sudden switch. Besides, I think she had a bit of Final Fantasy fatigue after the

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Final Fantasy XII is a difficult game to review for Grandma and I. I remember showing her the early Japanese trailers when they first appeared on IGN."OOoooooooo.... That looks awesome as hell. Still, I remember Final Fantasy X-2. I'll have to wait and see."Then she stumbled across the demo that came with Dragon Quest VIII; proudly announced on the cover of the damn game as if it were the

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Happy Holidays everybody! We have a lot to talk about. I'm sorry about the posting delay; my grandfather passed away the Friday after Thanksgiving. Ralph St. Hilaire was another cool older person in my life, a person who's personality and story could be deserving of a website all his own rather than just a blurb here. When one goes through the death of someone close, everything else in

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Okay! Fire up your televisions, The G-Hole starts on MTV in just 30 minutes here on the East Coast (8:00pm). Grandma's review of Final Fantasy XII will be in this episode, although I'm not sure in which order the segments are. Tonight, we'll be bullshitting about Final Fantasy XII and whatever else your playing right here. It's an open thread, so pretty much anything goes.So what's on your

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com53tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-1163410065679083612006-11-13T03:41:00.000-05:002006-11-18T06:22:10.463-05:00

While getting our ass kicked by Guitar Hero II, we discovered that Grandma will once again be gracing your television screens when her review of FFXII appears on MTV's The G-Hole, in an episode that is scheduled to first air Wednesday, November 15th at 8:00pm EST. During the broadcast, we will hold a live discussion thread here at OGHC, giving you the chance to bullshit with Grandma the whole

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Grandma is in the final stages of Okami, a beautiful platform game on the PS2 that was well deserving of its drawn out hype. The unique "Brush System" in the game is both beautifully done and incredibly frustrating at times; the new strokes one learns begin to layer themselves in such a way that one occasionally forgets the easiest way of battle in favor of newer methods, or at least those most

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Grandma had the honor of getting some press from our local free weekly: The Cleveland Scene. The piece is kind of embarassing in that it was penned by Joe P. Tone, a guy who usually writes about more interesting things, but then again- we're modest to the point of hatred.Grandma and I also got a chance to say all that couldn't be said about girls and gaming in this here newfangled "podcast"

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Grandma just completed Xenosaga III (PS2), is working on finishing up the achievement list on Lego Star Wars II (Xbox 360), and has begun the long awaited Okami (PS2). She also picked up Rocketslime for the Nintendo DS, but she hasn't tried it yet. If you've been following Grandma's habits for the past year, you'll know she takes things one game at a time. That isn't likely to

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Grandma won! The last round was INCREDIBLY close. She beat Ruth, another gaming grandparent, by only a few seconds. We wern't quite sure who won until they announced it. Grandma put her stylus down, as did Ruth, and it was over. Grandma's never really won aything before, so she got a big kick out it! She decided to give the DS units and most of the games (minus True Swing Golf, Tetris

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Grandma and I will be in New York City on Saturday, Spetember 9th to shoot a segment for the G-Hole on NintendoWorld's "Grandparents Day." If you're in the city you should stop by and bullshit about games with us for a while! NintendoWorld is putting on a bit of a tournament for "Nintendo's Coolest Grandparent of the Year." Grandma's been brushing up on her BrainAge to prepare, but in her

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Well, Grandma's appearance on Attack of the Show last week didn't accomplish much on the 'Women and Gaming' front; the fluff piece circlejerk might have actually set us back a few years, had anyone took it seriously. The earpiece kept falling out and the panel didn't last long enough for meaningful discourse, but everyone was nice to Grandma and she doesn't have any regrets.We compiled a video

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Grandma is to appear as a guest on Wednesday night's Attack of the Show in a panel to discuss the somewhat argument-ready topic: "Are Girls better than Guys at Video Games." Also on the panel will most likely be Seanbaby and someone from the PMS Clan. Predictably Grandma's opinion tends to be more on the centrist position of "gender doesn't matter, you fucker," although it's hard to imagine

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-1155625757572492952006-08-15T01:07:00.000-05:002006-08-15T15:16:24.653-05:00

Stubbs The Zombie is a great little gem for the XBox. It's a fairly easy game for the most part with a few frustrations. Grandma has promised a full review as soon as she defeats the final boss. MTV is sending her a copy of Dead Rising (XBox 360) for a G-Hole review, so it will be nice to empathize a bit with the thousands of zombies she plans to slaughter.Game on!

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Handheld gaming makes Grandma and I quite a sight on our frequent trips to hospitals and doctors offices after her surgery a couple weeks ago. Thanks to Nintendo and Sony, she has two DS's, a DS lite, and a PSP. I recently splurged on a PSP so we can utilize the multiplayer functions. Besides, I was jealous, goddammit. We each have a case that can hold a PSP, a DS, games for each system

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Grandma thought it would be cool to label her POS Poniac Grand Am with something a bit more substantial than a bumpersticker, so she ordered customized lisence plates with the tag: "OGHC," as though the local police aren't already on the lookout for a vulgar woman speeding to and from Gamestop. She's currently devoting most of her time playing Daxter for the PSP, which has allowed her to get used

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In the past week, Grandma's excruciating boredom has been once again defeated with the help of Grandma's friends at Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo. First, Evan over at Microsoft gave Grandma the necessary code to get another year of XBox Live Gold assuring that her Gamertag, "OGHC" will continue to rock the XBox 360 in style. This is after Evan gave Grandma all of the codes to acquire full

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After Grandma's fun-filled action-packed cliche-ridden vomit adventure the first day of E3, things could only get better. Her health was significantly improved, she'd have a bit more time to wander, and we were to finally meet Vic Ireland after the day's end for dinner. Our call time at the convention center was at 8:30am PST, and we were already awake from an early improvised IHOP breakfast.

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Sometimes after months of vague promises, distraction and hype, one finds an article that allows just a glimmer of unadulterated PR. "Sure we're reaching out to all demographics," "Sure, our games our enjoyed by all," they might say to us. And then, where there should have been silence and perhaps a sinister twisting of a moustache in a vaudeville attempt to conceal their secrets, all hell

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Yes, that is a horrible picture of Annie. When one's speedlight is out of order, one tends to use any available light to get a shot; this time the light from MTV's cameras on their first meeting outside the Sony VIP booth. In a post long overdue, I'll walk you through the rest of Grandma's experience at E3. This may be a long post, so grab a drink, pull up a chair, put on some music. We'll be

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The last E3 post is coming; sorry about the delay. I'm deadlocked in one of those situations where work has to come first. Anyway! There are quite a few things going down Grandma would like to address. In no particular order: a columnist at parentstv.org used Grandma to incite ideas that video games are not only inappropriate for children, but also for adults; some folks are using the

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"My friends encouraged me to start this blog to share my grandma with the world. Anyone who lives near us hearing her scream "Fucking Cocksucker Won't FUCKING DIE!!" at the television at very late hours knows she's something special. I'm her 22 year old grandson and I wouldn't trade her for the world- for many reasons; but one stands out..." That's how it began a little less than a year ago.

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Grandma's E3 story actually begins a few weeks before E3 itself during a short trip out to LA for a Sony media event. For Grandma, it was her chance to interview David Jaffe and Cory Barlog about God of War 2, sample some cool games and meet the best and the worst of the gaming press. For me, it was a chance to exploit that industry secret, that beautiful and mysterious custom: the open

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Big post coming... Need to sleep... E3 Internet access crazy, hoarded by "journalists."Stay tuned!

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Everything's packed. The camera, the camcorder, the laptop, the wireless card, the DS, the iPod, the Coffee, the comfy shoes.It's a long flight from Cleveland to LA, but thanks to the miracle of time zones, we leave at 9:00am and arrive at 10:30. We'll have updates whenever possible, and a full report upon our return.To E3!!

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That's really a picture of me. REALLY it is. Tim has been bugging me to no end to give everyone a different perspective of Grandma. So here goes…”Grandma” as seen through the eyes of her daughter.Mom and I have lived together forever. This has been a very interesting relationship. Let me tell you of a general day in my life with “Grandma.”A typical day begins with Mom sleeping away. Usually, she

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We got back from LA, more on that trip coming. I have a ton of projects I'm working on at the moment, including a book about Grandma and mature gaming, so we thought it would be interesting to bring in another author to the fold, to give you more frequent updates and a fresh perspective from another person who lives here with Grandma, her daughter Lynn.The only one who calls her that here is

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This one is long, so it may take quite some time to load.Thanks, everybody. I hope the video works for you (although, you might have to click on it, save the video or pause it; minimizing the window to go on to other things while the thing loads for you.)

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It all began so innocently, as most things do; with the best intentions. It started with Grandma flicking through the pages of EGM and GameInformer like self-imposed subliminal strobe hypnosis; flashing the minimalist images of the XBox 360, PS3, and Nintendo Revolution just fast enough to pick up the important phrases superimposed over them. "Next-Gen," "Ultimate System," "Everything you've

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Grandma couldn't wait any longer so she rented a copy until she can afford one of her own. The cruel way XBox Live distributes achievement points by personal level within Guilds (Associate, Apprentice, Novice, Journeyman, etc.,..) and arena fighting ensures this will be a long-ass haul for Grandma.We have a lot to talk about this week; Grandma's back has been killing her recently and the

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This week we're going to dive into Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day for the Nintendo DS. We're going to talk some more about it in the coming weeks as well, but you folks need a bit of a primer on this one. We made another video for you too! Grandma hasn't yet finished Grandia III, although she's put at least thirty more hours into it leveling up in anticipation of a six-boss

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Some folks e-mailed to say the video wasn't working over at PutFile, so we're trying something different for yas! Let me know if you like this better.Opening bumper - The Chemical Brothers, "The Sunshine Underground"The obvious - Grandia III (Playstation 2) by Square Enix.Closer - Stretch and Vern, "Get Up! Go Insane! (Fatboy Mix)"

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This week we're going to give you the run down on Grandma's progress in Grandia III (PS2), Marble Blast Ultra (XBox 360), and Crystal Quest (XBox 360); as well as give you a little peak at what FHM Germany thinks about "old people." We also made another video for you, which should become a weekly feature; seeing as this schedule is much easier for us to duplicate.Let's get something out of the

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-1141700856801902212006-03-06T22:00:00.000-05:002006-03-06T22:07:36.923-05:00

So, you want an open thread to post Grandma questions, eh?Very well!Let's see how long we can stay awake.

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-1141649333161087102006-03-06T07:30:00.000-05:002006-03-06T07:48:55.390-05:00

This week we're going to tell you all about Grandma's adventures in World Championship Poker 2 (XBox), World Championship Poker (DS), King Kong (XBox 360), and Taiko Drum Master (PS2).We were also going to talk a little bit about the terrifying concept of existentialist video game characters in a Pirandellian tragedy describing the cruel and bitter relationship between innocent virtual beings and

CtrlAltDeletehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09518311465975813562noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13820246.post-1141318601131420622006-03-02T10:40:00.000-05:002006-03-02T11:57:06.336-05:00

Yo. As a lot of you folks know, I'm a photographer for our local paper out yonder in crazyland. It's a great job! Like any job, it's teaching me a lot, but I will say it's kicking my ass when it comes to scheduling the blog and getting things done for you.So Grandma and I discussed things and OGHC is moving to a weekly schedule rather than daily. It takes a lot of pressure off us both and

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Electronic Gaming Monthly spoke with Grandma in early January, and to be honest the two of us weren't exactly sure what sort of article would come from the interview until recently. February brought with it frequent trips to Borders; eyeing the gaming mag section with a shifty gaze in all directions, searching for the trademark emo-glasses and dangling employee badges as she decided if it would

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When I was able to go to Case Western Reserve University, my college ID allowed me free access to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, a funny looking pyramid on the shores of Lake Erie dedicated to the birth of Rock. In the lower level, one of the first things you see is a giant wall covered in quotes from those opposing the "grotesque" and "evil" music. Tipper Gore is down there, as

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Wooo! Well that was ...weird. Here's this week's schedule:Monday8:00pm EST - "Guitar Hero [PS2]"Tuesday1:00pm EST - "Electronic Gaming Monthly names Grandma the Gamer Of The Year for 2005!"8:00pm EST - "Sly Cooper 3: Honor Among Thieves [PS2]"Wednesday8:00pm EST - "Peter Jackson's Return Of The Ghost of the Curse of King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie based off the Movie. [XBox 360]"

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